Unknown Truths
by Tygee
Summary: Hiding the truth is sometimes easier than facing it. Elena visits 1864 and comes back to face what is between her and Damon. Stefan's lies, Klaus' antics, and Damon's inability to believe he could get the girl causes everyone pain instead. Will continue into season 4 events. Serious Delena drama. Has lemons. Also, starting around ch 30, Karoline drama.
1. Ch 1 Welcome to Mystic Falls

**Okay, so as a set-up: This starts after the episode in which Elena un-daggers Elijah and goes away for the day to speak with him. Instead of Elena and Elijah coming back to the boarding house to talk to the brothers, Elena left Elijah and is going to see Bonnie. Also, the elixir to save Elena does not exist.**

**This story will continue all the way through season 3. I already have it all outlined.**

She laughed as she drove. It was a slightly insane sound. How the hell did her life turn into this? She remembered just a couple of years ago when what she wore to Homecoming was her biggest dilemma and her upcoming math test was her biggest worry. She didn't want to live like this forever. She shuddered at the thought. By this point, she was in front of the house. She ran up the steps, through the door, and down into the basement where Bonnie was hiding.

"Jeremy, could I have a moment? Its important," she pleaded.

"Sure," Jeremy replied, his forehead creasing. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," Elena said, distractedly. She didn't even seem to notice when Jeremy was gone.

"Elena?" Bonnie said, trying to get her friend's attention.

Elena shook herself. "Sorry. Um... do you have a spell that can send someone back in time?"

Bonnie raised her eyebrows. "Why do you want to know?"

"There is a locket spelled by some witches back in the 1400s that Elijah used to have. The night the vampire's were sealed in the tomb, Elijah was in Mystic Falls. A few days later, Elijah's house burned to the ground. Klaus was angry that Katherine had escaped him again. He lost the locket. The locket was made to keep the doppelganger alive during the ritual. I need to go back and get it from Elijah."

"It is way too dangerous."

"Does that mean it is possible?"

Bonnie's voice was hesitant. "I've seen a spell like that in Emily's grimoire, but it is pretty limited. If I remember correctly, you only have three days before you return to your own time."

"That is long enough. Look, I know it isn't the most ideal of plans, but at this point we are kind of out of options. At least this plan doesn't lead to certain death."

"You mean, you hope it doesn't. What if Katherine shows up and decides to kill you? Or the Council decides you're a threat? Or you permanently change history so that you are never even born?"

"Back to the Future much, Bon?"

Bonnie put her hands on her hips, unimpressed. "This isn't funny. There has to be another way. I could try scrying for the necklace."

"Doesn't that require something of the person that it belongs to? Elijah stole it. It technically belongs to some long lost relative of the witch that originally owned it. We don't have time to be making shots in the dark."

"What if Klaus discovers you are gone while you are on this little adventure? What do you want us to say? 'Well, you see, we sent her back in time to get a locket that will save her life after you kill her. I am sure she will be fine and you can continue with your master plan to create more abominations. Oh, and we are almost positive that the magic locket will in no way endanger the spell that requires the death of the doppelganger. If it does, it'll be our bad. Please don't kill us.'"

"My other option is to drink vampire blood ahead of time and then turn. Is that a better option? Because you and I both know that this ritual is going to happen. There is nothing we can do to stop it. Or maybe I should just say my goodbyes and help you guys write my eulogy."

"Hold on," Bonnie said with a sigh, finding the grimoire and setting it down on the ground in front of her. Flipping through the pages, she found the entry that she wanted. "Like I said, it is pretty limited. You'll be back for three days, as in 72 hours exactly. When you leave, all memories pertaining to you will disappear from the minds of the people in the past. However, that does not protect against you changing the progress of events in the future."

"I get it. Get in, get the locket, get out, and don't interfere. Can you do the spell?"

Bonnie sighed again, unable to believe that she was even considering this. "I'm pretty sure I can do it. But you need to decide what day you want to go back to."

"The day before the vampire's are entombed. I want to make sure I have plenty of time to find Elijah and the locket."

"How do you know that Elijah back in 1864 won't kidnap you or kill you outright?"

Elena pulled a ring and a letter out of the tote bag she was carrying. "I was told if I showed him the ring, it would make him stop to listen long enough to give him the letter, which is from Elijah to himself."

Bonnie nodded. She then began setting up the tools she needed- candles, water, a bowl. "Just make sure that you do not try to change events," Bonnie instructed her sternly. "You cannot save them."

"I understand. I will stay out of the way as much as possible." Even if she did hate the idea of just sitting by and watching the nightmare unfold, she knew how dangerous meddling could be.

Bonnie nodded. "Okay, write the date you want to go back to on this piece of paper."

Elena complied and Bonnie began the spell. After a minute of incantations, she lit the paper on fire and threw it in the bowl. The candles flared high and then sputtered out. Bonnie opened her eyes. Elena was gone.

**. . .**

Elena sat up, feeling dizzy. She shook her head and stood up. As she brushed the dirt and leaves from her clothes, she remembered that she was still in jeans. She really should have changed before the spell. She slipped her tote bag off her shoulder and pulled out the 1800s style dress she had worn earlier in the year for Founder's Day. She left the corset in the bag. There was no way she could lace it herself. She only hoped no one took notice. She quickly changed, praying no one would appear in the forest before she was done. Then she put her clothes in the bag. Looking around, she found two trees growing close together. She hid the bag between them and started towards town.

As she walked, she began thinking about what she was going to tell Katherine. She decided the best plan was to feign innocence. Act shocked at the fact that they looked like twins. Katherine usually planned things carefully. Elena could only hope that meant Katherine wouldn't act rashly and kidnap her to take her to Klaus before she could retrieve the locket.

Ahead of her, she saw a house she didn't recognize. Not that she was surprised at this. She skirted around the side, not wishing for anyone to see her. It would seem odd for a stranger in town to be wondering around the woods, probably on someone's land.

She reached a dirt road. Looking to her left, she saw the driveway that led up to the house. She had just turned to walk away from the house when she heard the clop of several horse's hooves coming down the road towards her. The carriage slowed and stopped next to her.

"Katherine?" Elena's heart skipped a beat. She recognized that voice.

Damon stepped out of the carriage. "What are you doing?"

Elena couldn't help but stare. She knew that, as of tomorrow, Damon would never age. And yet present day Damon looked so much older than the Damon standing before her. It was the eyes, she realized. This Damon's eyes weren't cold and bitter. They did have a look of concern in them, though. Elena shook herself, realizing that Damon was waiting for her to say something.

Damon's brow furrowed. She was looking at him like she had never seen him before. He laid a hand on her shoulder, "Are you okay?"

"Umm... I'm sorry, but you must be mistaking me for someone else. My name is Elena, not Katherine. I'm new to town."

Damon stared at her for another minute or two, clearly dumbfounded. "I... I see. I'm very sorry for the mix-up. You just look remarkably like someone I know. Can I give you a ride somewhere?" he asked, gesturing to the carriage.

"I'm not sure. My parents died last year, you see. They used to tell me a story about one of my great-grandparents that was from Mystic Falls. So I decided to come and see if I had any family still here." Elena hoped the story sounded more believable to him than it did to her.

"What did you say your name was?"

"Elena. Elena Gilbert."

"I see." Damon was still looking at her skeptically. He half wondered if Katherine was playing some strange game. "Well, if you would be so kind as to come with me to the house," he pointed at the house she had seen, "we will see about finding your relatives."

"Okay," Elena responded. It wasn't like she had a better game plan.

They walked to the carriage and Damon offered her his hand to help her up. She accepted and, placing her hand in his and lifting her skirt with her other hand, she stepped up and through the door. She looked around as Damon climbed in. She had never been in a carriage before. Her eyes then settled on Damon. "May I ask what your name is?"

"How rude of me. My name is Damon Salvatore." The carriage lurched into motion as he spoke.

Elena smiled a little. Since when did Damon care about being rude? "It is nice to meet you, Mr. Salvatore. And I thank you very much for your assistance."

Damon couldn't help but to return her smile. There was something about her... He decided she couldn't be Katherine. Her face was somehow kinder, her eyes more innocent. How intriguing. He couldn't wait to see Katherine's reaction to Elena. He was sure it was going to be interesting. "It is my pleasure," he responded.

The carriage stopped in front of the house. Damon hopped down and then turned to help Elena down. As she placed her hand in his again, her eyes met his and he found himself lost in them for a moment. She looked at him like she knew him, like she cared. She broke eye contact and stepped down. Maybe he had imagined it.

Elena had felt like an electrical current had jolted through her as her fingers settled into his hand. And his eyes on hers- it was like he could see her soul.

The front door opened. "Damon. I'm glad your back, I..." the voice trailed off as the speaker noticed Elena.

Elena took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. "Oh my," she said, pretending to be shocked. "You must be Katherine."


	2. Ch 2 Nice to meet the real you

Katherine's eyes narrowed. It was like she was looking in the mirror. Who was this girl? She had to be another doppelganger... How interesting. "How do you know my name?"

"Mr. Salvatore called me Katherine when he saw me walking along the road. Said I reminded him of someone. We obviously look a lot alike," that was the understatement of the year, "so I assumed you were who he meant."

"I see," Katherine responded.

Elena shivered. She had never heard two such simple words sound so cold, so menacing. No doubt about it, Katherine was not happy that she was there.

Katherine's gaze moved to Damon. "Why did you bring her here?"

Damon's eyebrows lowered. He didn't understand why Katherine was suddenly so testy. "She came to town looking for family that she had heard lived in Mystic Falls. Her surname is Gilbert. I told her I would introduce her to the Gilbert family."

As he spoke, Katherine was thinking through her options. This girl could be useful to her. She just had to play her cards right. She smiled suddenly and her voice became gracious, "It is almost time for dinner. Surely we can spare a room for her for the night. Then we can bring her to meet the Gilbert's tomorrow afternoon. I will send a note over to arrange a luncheon."

"Of course," Damon responded, his surprise evident on his face.

Katherine's sudden shift in mood worried Elena. Katherine never did anything that didn't benefit herself. She also felt a small wave of anger wash through her body. How dare Katherine stand on Salvatore property and say "we" as if the house was hers? It was just another reminder of how arrogant... Elena quickly redirected her train of thought before she got too worked up. She couldn't afford for her face to betray her thoughts. "You are very gracious to allow me to stay in your home. Thank you," she said, purposefully directing her gaze towards Damon.

Damon's eyebrows raised slightly. If he didn't know better, he would think that Elena had purposefully given Katherine the cut direct. The steely look in her eyes further supported that theory. But no, why would she do such a thing to someone she knew nothing about? "You are very welcome."

"Please, come in," Katherine said with a hard edge to her voice.

Elena smiled brilliantly. It might be petty, but any day in which she can upset Katherine was a good day as far as she was concerned. Although, not seeing her at all was better. She did not want to make Katherine too suspicious, however, so she nodded her head at Katherine and thanked her as she walked into the house.

Katherine called a servant to show Elena to her room. She instructed the servant to escort her back down to the dining room at 6 o'clock sharp. Elena was turning to follow the servant when she heard another voice and footsteps coming towards them.

"Wherever did you go, Katherine? We have yet to finish our game."

Elena quickly looked over at Damon. A look of pain crossed his face and was gone in a blink of the eye. Just then, Stefan came into view. He stopped short when he saw Elena. His gaze traveled between Katherine and Elena, confusion and surprise evident on his face.

"This is Elena. She will be our guest for the evening," Katherine told him. She walked over and hooked her arm through his with a smile that could not be mistaken for anything but predatory.

Stefan stared at Katherine for a moment, obviously still confused. He knew better than to question Katherine, however. So he looked at Elena and smiled, "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Will we be seeing you at dinner?"

"Yes, thank you," Elena responded.

"Well, then we will leave you to get settled in," Katherine said.

Elena nodded and turned to follow the servant upstairs.

At 6 o'clock, the servant brought her back downstairs and showed her where the door to the dining room was before taking their leave. As she approached the door, she heard footsteps behind her and turned to look. "Oh, hello, Mr. Salvatore," she said to Damon.

Damon moved to open the door for her. "Please, call me Damon."

Elena smiled, "Then you must of course call me Elena." She walked into the dining room. Stefan and Katherine were already seated. Stefan stood up when he saw Elena.

"Hello again, Ms..." Stefan trailed off as her realized he did not know her last name.

"Please, call me Elena," Elena responded.

"I trust you like your room?" Katherine inquired.

Elena shifted her gaze to the other woman. "It is lovely, thank you." Damon pulled a chair out for her and Elena took her seat. Then Damon and Stefan sat down.

As dinner was served, Damon, Stefan, and Katherine began talking about various things while Elena's thoughts drifted. It was odd to see the brothers and Katherine on such good terms. She knew she would have to steel herself for what was to happen the next day, when all their illusions fell apart.

"Elena?" Stefan said for the third time.

Elena's gaze snapped to his. "Oh, I'm sorry Stefan. I must have zoned out."

"Zoned out?" Stefan asked, unfamiliar with the term.

Elena blushed, embarrassed to have been caught using modern slang. "That is what my parents called it when I would daydream."

"Ah, I see. I was asking if you were enjoying your meal."

"Oh, yes, very much. Thank you."

Stefan smiled. Elena's gaze fell first on Katherine, who simply looked bored, and then on Damon. He had a very odd look on his face. She quickly looked back down at her plate. She had to be more careful with what she said.

After dinner, Damon asked Elena if she would like a tour of the gardens. She happily accepted the offer. She did not want to spend a moment longer with Katherine than necessary.

Once outside, Damon offered her his arm and she put her hand in the crook of his elbow. They then walked into the gardens. Once they were a little ways from the house, he stopped. She looked up at him questioningly.

"How did you know my brother's name?"

She stared at him, confused. "What do you mean?"

"At dinner, you said 'I'm sorry, Stefan.' Except no one mentioned his name. How did you know it?"

Elena quickly searched for a suitable response. "I asked the servant that showed me my room."

Damon searched her face for a few more seconds before nodding. "I apologize. There have just been some... strange occurrences happening in town lately. I guess they have made me suspicious."

"It's okay. We had some strange things happening in my town as well. It was one of the reasons I left." That was actually true, even if her town was actually Mystic Falls version 2011.

"What kind of strange occurrences?" Damon asked.

"Some animal attacks. Reports of giant wolves. There were even a couple of people accused of witchcraft. After my parents drowned, I decided it was time to leave."

Damon felt a tug on his heart. He thought of how he had felt when his mother died. "Drowned?"

Elena's face turned sad and her eyes took on a haunted look. Damon suddenly felt the urge to wrap his arms around her and protect her from harm. "It was raining. Our carriage was on a bridge when it collapsed. I do not remember anything after plunging into the cold water. Someone that saw the accident said they saw someone run to the river and pull me out. But they said it must have been an angel or something, because one second it was standing a good distance from the river and the next it was in the water, dragging me out." Elena watched his face as she said this, to see if he would connect the dots.

She saw his eyes widen in recognition. He quickly feigned a look of confusion, "That _is_ strange." Then his expression turned somber. "My mother died when I was young."

Elena instinctively laid a hand on his arm. She wasn't used to Damon acting so vulnerable. It made her heart twist to see the pain in his eyes. "I am so sorry."

Damon abruptly turned away from her and started walking again. Elena followed a step behind. When he reached a bench, he sat down and looked up at the sky. The sun was setting, splashing brilliant shades of red and orange across the horizon. Suddenly, he spoke, "It is my opinion that some people are destined to be happy and others are not. Some people will always win, while others will always lose. We just have to make do with the cards that are dealt to us, for the short time in which we live."

Elena winced at his words. "I do not believe that. I believe that everyone has pain in their lives and one must choose to be happy as often as possible. Life is what you make it, whether it lasts for a day or for 80 years."

Damon turned his head to look at her. He looked tired. So very, very tired. As she looked into his eyes, she thought of what was coming and she felt the urge to tell him everything, to help him escape. To save him from 150 years of pain. But she couldn't. She had to let him be betrayed, she had to let him be forced to become a monster against his will. She had to let him step on a path that would cause him to become bitter, angry, and uncaring.

Again, he felt the connection. The look she was giving him- it was like she could see straight through to his soul. Her face was reflecting his pain, as if his pain hurt her. She stepped forward and her hand hovered, as if she wanted to touch him. He didn't know why, he barely knew her after all, but he needed that touch like he needed his next breath. He captured her hovering hand and brought the back to his lips. Elena felt that brush of his lips all the way to her toes.

Suddenly, a squirrel scurried out from under a bush. The noise made her flinch. What was she doing out here holding hands with Damon? She gently pulled her hand away from his, "We should probably go back. It has been a terribly long day."

Damon stared at her a moment longer, her sudden shift in mood had thrown him off. She was a mystery to be sure. "Of course," he responded. "I understand." He stood and offered her his arm. She hesitated for a moment and then placed her hand back on his arm.

They walked back in silence. When they reached the bottom of the staircase inside the house, Elena let go of his arm. "Thank you for showing me the gardens. They truly are amazing. And the sunset was beautiful."

"The pleasure was all mine," Damon responded, once again lifting her hand to his lips.

Elena, flustered, reclaimed her hand and said a rushed good night. She then turned and went upstairs. At the top of the staircase she paused to look over her shoulder. Damon was standing at the bottom, still watching her. His eyes met hers for a second before she turned to go towards her bedchamber.

But, as she went, there was a small smile on her face.

**Okay, I am still not sure how I am going to write the Big Day. The show is a bit vague on what exactly happened the day the vampires were entombed and Katherine skipped town. If anyone has any suggestions about what I should include, I would love to hear them. Just review or PM me. I just know that at some point, Elena will have to find Elijah and get the locket. Elena still has about two and half days before the spell times out and she returns to present day. So she will witness the entombment, Stefan and Damon in transition, and the first day of them being vampires. I will get the next chapter up as soon as I figure it out lol. No later than Friday, I promise.**


	3. Ch 3 Vampires, rings, and lockets oh my

The next morning, Elena woke up when a servant opened her door. "Ma'am, I do apologize for waking you, but I have been instructed to help you get dressed for your luncheon with the Gilbert family."

"What time is it?" Elena asked.

"11 o'clock, ma'am."

Elena quickly sat up. She had seriously overslept. How did people survive without alarm clocks?

With the servants help, she got dressed as quickly as possible. Although it still took forever thanks to the corset and petticoats. "What time is the luncheon?" Elena asked.

"1 o'clock, ma'am."

She had about an hour to find Elijah and be back in time to ride over to the Gilbert's house with everyone. "Thank you." Elena pulled the letter Elijah had given her from under her pillow and put it in one of the pockets in her dress, ignoring the odd look the servant gave her. She then spotted a brush on a table. She picked it up and swiftly left the room, brushing her hair as she went.

She went down the stairs as quickly as her skirts allowed and sent a prayer of thanks when she did not run into anyone. She quietly opened the front door and slipped out. She paused, trying to figure out how she was going to get to the old manor Elijah had told her he had been staying in the week the vampires were entombed. She simply did not have time to walk. Looking around, she spotted a small stable a little way from the house. She walked towards it, again praying she would not run into anyone. She got there unseen. She pulled a bridle from the wall, took the horse closest to her out of it's stall, put on the bridle, and pulled herself up on to the horse. She knew riding bareback was unladylike, but no one would remember she had even been here in two days time, so who cared? She nosed her mount toward the stable doors and raced out before her luck ran out and someone tried to stop her.

When she arrived in front of the manor, she tied the reins to a nearby tree and called out, "Elijah! I have something for you." She knew he would be able to hear her. Suddenly she heard a sound behind her. She spun around, holding up a hand to clearly display the ring Elijah had given her.

But it wasn't Elijah. It was Katherine. "Elijah?" she asked softly. "And why would you be looking for him?"

There was no point in lying. "I need a locket that he has. A locket that Klaus will destroy a week from now."

Katherine's eyebrows raised at the mention of Klaus. This human certainly knew a lot. "And how do you know what Klaus will do?" she asked, advancing on Elena.

Elena stood her ground. "I know the future. In great detail. Tonight, the council will make their move and seal over two dozen vampires in a tomb beneath the church. You have made a deal that will allow you to escape. But the Salvatore brothers don't know about the deal and will be shot and killed trying to save you. They will of course come back as vampires. They will then help Elijah and I kill Klaus. After he captures and tortures you, but before he kills you." By now, Katherine is mere inches from her. Elena refused to be intimidated and raised her chin. "For all that to happen, however, I need the locket."

"An interesting story." The voice came from Elena's right. She turned to look. Elijah was standing a few hundred feet away.

Elena nodded her head respectfully, "Elijah. I have something for you." She pulled the letter Elijah had given her in 2010 out of her pocket and held it out towards him. He moved next to her and took it before she could blink. Then he caught her hand. "Where did you get this?" he asked, staring at the ring.

Elena's eyes darted to Katherine and then back to Elijah. They begged him not to push the issue, to understand that she did not want to tell Katherine any more than she had. She could not afford to change the course of events about to unfold. "Please, just read the letter. It will explain."

Elijah's eyes narrowed, but he did as she asked. Once he had finished reading, he looked back up at her. Surprise was evident on his face, but was gone a moment later. He turned to Katherine. Looking deep into her eyes he compelled her, "Do nothing to Elena. Do not ask her any more questions. You will not remember seeing her or me here."

He turned back to Elena. "The ring, please?" Elena gave it to him and he pulled a locket out of his pocket, handing it to her. "Until we meet again." And with that, he was gone, faster than her eyes could even hope to track him.

**Okay, so step one is taken care of. Elena has the locket. I still have no clue how I am going to portray the story of the council rounding up the vampires to entomb them, the Salvatore brothers being killed, and Katherine escaping. That is going to be the hardest chapter. Again, if anyone has any suggestions or if there is anything you would like me to include, review.**

**I am, however, starting to figure out how I am going to portray the part where Stefan turns Damon. I am going to change it a little. After all, I cannot expect Elena to follow the rules the whole time and not try to meddle :)**


	4. Ch 4 The green monster rises

**I was hoping to get this up earlier, but I was working all weekend and I just didn't have time to type it up. Anyway, I am already halfway through the next chapter. I will have it up by Wednesday. It will be about the council attack and the Salvatore brother's dying and resurrecting.**

**Anyway, enjoy :)**

Katherine said nothing. She simply turned and ran. She was quickly out of sight. Elena sighed. Thank God for small blessings. Elijah's compulsion would keep Katherine out of her hair and help keep her own presence from changing this evening's events. Elena quickly walked back to her horse, untied him, and began riding back to the Salvatore mansion.

As she rode up to the stables, she saw Damon standing in front of them. She stopped her horse next to him. She swung her leg over the horses back and gracefully slid to the ground. She adjusted her skirts, refusing to meet Damon's eyes, "I know, riding bareback is not exactly an acceptable past time for a lady. And I should have asked before taking out one of your horses. I just needed to go out for a while."

"Your riding skills are really quite impressive." Elena looked up at him, startled. He offered his arm with a smile, "And as long as you return the horse, I don't mind. Actually I don't mind either way, but my father might. All of the horses belong to him. Except the black at the back. That one is mine."

They began walking back to the house, arms linked. "And what bothers your father is of no consequence to you?"

His smile faltered and then returned, wider than before, "On the contrary, I support and appreciate anything that bothers my father."

Elena turned her head away from him to conceal her smile. She wasn't supposed to know anything about his family situation so she should be surprised, not amused. At that moment, the front door opened and Stefan and Katherine emerged. Stefan was laughing at something she had said. He looked up, and Elena knew he had seen them but he quickly looked away without acknowledging them. He grabbed Katherine's hand and said something to her. She laughed in return and took a step closer to him. Stefan brushed a lock of hair from her face, looking in her eyes and smiling.

Elena felt anger course through her. She hated seeing Stefan treat Katherine like... well, like he treated her. But as she watched him pick her up and spin her around, both of them laughing, she had to admit that she was wrong, it wasn't the same. If anything, Stefan seemed happier, more carefree with Katherine. He seemed... closer to Katherine somehow then he was to her. And was it any wonder? Their initial attraction was what first brought them together, but mutual guilt (his over Damon, hers over her parents) brought them closer. Since then, they have looked to each other for support through one disaster after another until that was all that was left. No laughter, no frivolity.

She pulled herself out of her thoughts and looked up at Damon. The pain on his face made her even more angry. Katherine wasn't worth it. At that moment, they reached the bottom of the stairs leading up to the house. Stefan's eyes met Damon's and he smirked. Elena gasped. He was doing it on purpose. He was parading his relationship with Katherine in front of Damon, trying to make him hurt. Glancing up at Damon again, she saw that he was not surprised at Stefan's behavior. Elena came to a stop. Damon looked down at her questioningly. Under her breath, she said, "You know he is doing it on purpose. You know she loves watching you two fight over her. Yet, you remain devoted. You let them play with you!"

Damon dropped her arm and his mouth fell open in shock. "How do you..."

He was cut off by Katherine, who was coming down the stairs with Stefan, "Come on, it is time to leave. We don't want to be late." She swept by them both, head high.

Elena turned to follow her. She really shouldn't have said anything. Especially after her mistake with Stefan's name.

Damon grabbed a hold of her arm, his grip firm but gentle. She glanced up at him, then back down at the ground. She had to come up with a somewhat believable explanation and fast. "It was obvious at dinner how much you adore her. She seemed to invite such feelings instead of being uncomfortable. Yet, she also s eems to wish for Stefan's courtship. And I saw Stefan look up at us across the lawn. You see, I was pledged to someone back home. I found him in the arms of another girl. The look on your face reminded me of how that felt and it made me angry. If I have misread the situation here, I apologize. Either way, I am sorry I let my anger get the best of me." Some of that was true. She had just found her boyfriend in someone else's arms, even if it was in a different time. And she was definitely sorry for her outburst.

Damon looked skeptical, but he nodded. They walked down the stairs and got in the carriage. As the horses began moving forward, all Elena could think as she looked across to Katherine and Stefan was that this may be the most awkward moment of her life. Suddenly she felt Damon's fingers squeezing her own, their hands hidden beneath the folds of her skirts. Glancing up at him, she realized he was telling her that regardless of the reasons for her outburst, it was okay. It was all going to be okay.

Staring into his eyes, knowing he was going to die before the night was through, she felt sorrow rise. It was not going to be okay, but she couldn't warn him. Couldn't save him from death, from years of loving Katherine for nothing, years of pain and sorrow. She squeezed his hand back and vowed that even if she couldn't stop what was going to happen, she would try to make it easier. Someone had to help Damon. If no one else would step up to the plate, she would have to do.


	5. Ch 5 One fateful day

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Diaries.**

Elena stepped out of the carriage in the center of town. Looking around at the festival, she was reminded of the night the council used the vampire device in 2010. The night Anna and Mr. Lockwood died. She steeled herself. She already knew how it would turn out. What was done, was done.

Sometime later, Elena looked into the sky and saw the sun was dipping below the horizon. Those with children were leaving to go home. The atmosphere got rowdier. It was almost time. She went in search of Damon and Stefan. She caught sight of them near the edge of the crowd. As she drew near, she heard Damon tell Stefan, "If you want her that badly, fine. But I am telling you, brother, we both deserve better. Better than this, this... game. She plays us like we are dancing in a very intricate game that is for her own personal enjoyment. I admit, I have feelings for her. She has an ability to pull you in so you never want to leave. But..." he cut off as he noticed Elena, who had stopped some distance from them.

Before Elena could decide whether Damon was serious or just trying to get his brother out of his way, she heard a scream behind her. She turned and saw a woman clutch her head and fall to her knees. Stefan and Damon both rushed forward to help the woman. Elena turned, staring but not moving.

It had begun.

She didn't know how long she stood like that, watching the scene unfold. When she came out of her daze it was due to Damon, standing in front of her and shaking her by the shoulders. "Elena!" She shook her head and looked up at him. She saw the concern on his face. She looked over his shoulder and watched as people ran every which way, not knowing what was going on. People that were on the ground screaming in pain were being carried off by thugs in black. Elena snapped her eyes back to Damon. He was trying to tell her something. "...just don't know, but I need to get you out of here."

At that moment, Stefan ran up. "They've got her, Damon. They took her."

"What? Who took who?"

"The people. The people took Katherine. She was on the ground like some of the others. I was running towards her when two guys picked her up and carried her off. I just couldn't get through the crowd. I lost sight of her and..."

Damon swore. Looking around, he saw two people carrying a man. "Lets follow them. See where they are taking them." Stefan and Damon ran off. Elena ran after them, but at a distance. She couldn't interfere. She said it to herself, over and over.

There were several carriages with bars in the windows lined up on the street. Men were picking prone bodies from the street and putting them in the carriages. It was obvious that all of the vampires had been injected with vervain. Elena saw Katherine being picked up and put in a carriage. Damon and Stefan rushed over. Stefan launched himself into the box at the front of the carriage, punching the driver in the jaw and shoving him off of the carriage. The man hit the ground and then lurched to his feet. Damon punched him and the man slumped to the ground. Damon then pulled himself up into the box next to his brother.

"Where do you think you are going?" Stefan and Damon looked down to see their father standing by the carriage.

"Please tell me you are not involved in this," Stefan said.

"Of course I am. I was instrumental in planning it," his father boasted. "Now get down from there and let the council handle this. I do not want you involved."

"They took Katherine, father. They hurt her!" Stefan cried.

"Of course they did," Giuseppe spat. "She is a demon, a filthy.."

"No!" Stefan cut him off. "Do not talk about her like that. I love her. I _love_ her. And I will save her." With that, he snapped the reins. The horses began to move forward.

That was when the shots rang out. Elena's heart stopped for a moment and then began to race. She ran forward, careful to stay out of Giuseppe's sight. Someone called his name and he turned. The man that had been loading the vampire's into the back of the carriage approached him. Suddenly, he hit Giuseppe over the head with something. Giuseppe slumped to the ground. Katherine walked around the carriage. "Thank you, George."

"We should leave," George responded. "Your carriage awaits."

"Of course," Katherine said. "Now, remember, if you betray me, I will come and kill you."

"We will take each others' secrets to the grave," George responded.

Katherine handed him the moonstone. She then pulled both of the brothers out of the carriage and carried them into the forest that lined the road, just barely past the edge of the trees. Elena crept closer to the trees. She saw Katherine lay them side by side. She knelt next to Stefan.

"I love you, Stefan. We will be together again. I promise." She kissed him, then got up and walked away with George.

Elena moved towards them and sat down by their heads to wait for them to wake up, hoping they would not be discovered before then.

It was several hours before she saw any sign of life. Then she saw Damon's eyelids flickering. They opened. "Katherine?"

"No, its Elena."

"Elena? What... what happened?" Suddenly, his eyes widened and his hands went to his chest. He could feel the blood dried in his clothes, sticky on his skin. "No. No. This shouldn't be happening. Earlier today, I told her no. She said, she said I needed to drink her blood. For protection. Said that she was afraid something might happen. But I said no. You were right. I was letting myself be played with."

Elena cut off his ramble with a finger to his lips. "Shh." He kept getting louder and she was afraid he would attract someone's attention. "Vampire's are rather good at convincing you to do things you don't want to do."

"Wait, you know about vampires?"

"Please, don't ask me how because I cannot tell you, but I know a lot more about what is going on in Mystic Falls then I want to know. I promise you that I am just here to help."

Damon sat up and stared into her eyes. It reminded her of the look he had given her as he helped her down from the carriage. It was like he was trying to read her soul. He nodded. "I don't know why, but I trust you."

There was a pause, then he asked, "So, am I... am I a vampire?"

"No, not until you drink human blood."

"And if I don't?"

"Then you die." Elena's voice stuttered on the last word. Her mind shied away from the thought of him dying.

Damon reached out to touch his brother. "He is going to wake up too, right?"

"Yes," Elena responded.

Damon nodded, then lapsed into silence. Elena reached out and took his hand. He gave her a small smile of thanks and his fingers tightened around hers. They stayed just like that, waiting for Stefan to wake up.


	6. Ch 6 To die or not to live

"I am going to speak with Father," Stefan announced. "I have to try to... explain somehow. About what has happened to us... I need to say goodbye."

"Are you sure that is a good idea? I think Father was rather clear on how he feels about... you know." Damon responded, swallowing. He just could not believe this was happening. He did _not_ want to be a monster. A creature from people's nightmares. Especially not without Katherine.

Stefan whipped around to face him and his tone was biting. "Considering we plan to die anyway, I doubt that it matters." Stefan was not taking this whole lets-wait-around-to-die thing very well.

Elena bit her lip, forcing herself to not say anything. Her thoughts swirled as she watched Stefan walk away. She had to let things play out. It had been several hours since Stefan had risen. She would be going home tomorrow evening. If felt like forever away. She was anxious to go home, to throw her arms around Damon and Stefan both, remind herself that it turns out okay. She glanced at Damon. Okay, so they were at least alive in her time, even if they weren't completely okay. She promised herself that she would be more understanding towards present day Damon. She had known most of the story from 1864 for a while, but experiencing it made it a lot more real.

…

"I know you said not to ask, but I cannot stand not knowing. How did you know about Katherine? Why are you really in Mystic Falls?"

Elena sighed. She should have known he would ask eventually. "It's complicated."

"Everything always is."

He sounded so... defeated. She had to say something. She didn't want to lie to him, but she couldn't exactly tell him the truth either. "I was sent here by a vampire much older than Katherine to retrieve something. There is another incredibly strong vampire threatening a lot of people including Katherine. I am trying to help stop him."

"Can't threaten someone who is dead."

Elena stared at him blankly for a moment. _Oh_, she thought, _that's right- he still thinks Katherine died._ She decided to purposefully misunderstand. "Yes, well, I would like to find a solution that doesn't involve me dying if I can," she said with a small laugh.

Damon looked at her, startled. She laughed despite the seriousness of the conversation. It was so difficult to surprise Damon, so it was always priceless when she did. Her smile faded.

Damon took her hand. "Will you be okay? You know, after I'm..." his voice trailed off and his eyes dropped to the ground. "I just do not like the idea of leaving you to face anything dangerous unprotected," he added quietly.

She realized that he thought he was going to die. She had not really thought of it that way because she knew how things turned out. The thought of him dying, of not having him around to make sarcastic comments and smile that arrogant smile of his, made it hard to breathe. She came up on her knees and raised one hand to the side of his face. "It'll be alright. I'll figure everything out. I promise."

She had never noticed before that moment how very blue his eyes were. In that moment, they were unguarded, something she had rarely seen. She saw pain, loneliness, and confusion swirling in their depths. How did it feel, knowing you were going to die? Knowing you had a choice, but feeling like it was no choice at all? A choice between death and hell. She was tired of seeing pain etched into the planes of his face. She had seen it one too many times. She leaned in, brushed her lips across his.

Damon pulled back slightly, staring into her eyes. "We haven't even talked about yesterday. I am not even sure how it happened, or why. I wasn't even thinking, and..."

Elena pressed a finger to his lips, silencing him. "I wasn't thinking either, and I definitely have no idea how it happened either. It just did, and it's done. And we don't have forever so lets just live in the moment. For once, I want to be young and carefree and stupid and live in the moment."

He quickly closed the space between them. Elena suddenly found herself under him, her back pressed flat to the ground and her lips being devoured. With a flash of recognition, she realized his emotions were amplified due to the transition. For this was certainly not the gentleman Damon she had grown used to over the last couple of days. Gone was the slow, gentle lover of yesterday. She remembered how Vicky had been. What was it Stefan had said? As Damon's lips trailed down her neck, it came to her. He had said, "Love, lust, anger- all of it combines to become one thing. Hunger." She shivered slightly and Damon froze.

He pulled back and stared down at her. "Are you cold? Or are you afraid of me?"

Elena immediately shook her head. "You would never hurt me." Even though her common sense told her otherwise, she just knew, all the way to her soul, that she was safe with him. She also knew that this was a terrible idea. She pulled his mouth back down to hers. They were all going to hell anyway. Might as well make it a great trip.

**...**

Damon rolled to his side, still panting. His breeches were undone, his shirt hanging loose. Her dress and petticoats were lying in heaps up around her thighs. She slowly opened her eyes to meet his.

"That was..." he stopped, as if he couldn't find the words. A speechless Damon- that certainly had to be a first.

"I know," Elena said. With one last lingering brush of her lips over his, she sat up. Gathering her dress so that it wouldn't get in the way of her feet, she moved to stand up.

Damon's hand closed over her arm. "Where are you going?" he asked, looking adorably ruffled, gloriously sated, and oh so seductive.

She couldn't be here when Stefan came back. She would never be able to keep herself from saying something. She stood up. "I have to go."

Damon scrambled to his feet. "What? Why?"

She gave him a small smile. "Your brother will be back anytime now and I certainly look less than presentable. I'll be right back. I promise."

Damon looked confused, but he nodded slowly. "Yes, of course."

Elena nodded and walked away, into the trees. She stopped just a few feet in, turned around, and sat down to wait.

She didn't have to wait long before she saw Stefan walk into the clearing to join Damon. He was leading a girl.

"What are you doing? Who is that?" Damon asked.

"I brought her for you. She's a gift." Stefan turned to the girl, "Have a seat please."

"What have you done Stefan?"

"Damon, I've been to see father. He came at me. I didn't know my own strength.

There was blood everywhere. He was dying and the blood was too strong. I needed

it, I had to have it."

"You fed."

"Yes. And its incredible. My body is exploding with power."

"No."

"I can hear things from far away, I can see through the darkness. I can move

like its magic. And the guilt, the pain, Damon, I can turn it off like a switch.

Katherine was right, its a whole other world out there Damon."

Damon pushed past his brother. "Katherine's dead Stefan. There's no world without her, remember?"

Stefan missed the sarcasm in his brothers last comment. "You can turn that off too. You don't have to feel that pain anymore."

"I don't want it."

"You're weak. You'll be dead soon. You need this. You'll die."

Damon's mind flashed back to what Elena had said. _ I would like to find a solution that doesn't involve me dying if I can. _He reveled in the look in her eyes as they had made love. He was almost sure that it had been love. Unbridled and raw. She made him laugh like he hadn't laughed in, well, forever. When she looked at him, she really seemed to _see_ him. And she was in serious trouble. He could feel it to his bones. He looked at his brother with his pleading eyes. He closed his eyes and saw Elena's face, heard her promise that she would be back. Maybe they would be enough to make it worthwhile, to make it bearable. He felt an intense need to protect Elena. He wasn't entirely sure if it was because she looked like Katherine or just because she seemed so... vulnerable, something Katherine never was.

"I won't let you die." Stefan said. He pulled the girl forward and bit her neck. "Don't fight it. We can do this. Together."

Damon stepped forward and bent to suck from the girls neck. As he tasted her blood, an intense hunger took him over. It blocked everything else out. Elena's face melted into the depths of his mind. He grabbed her shoulders, unable to stop. Wanting to drink every drop that she had to offer.

Suddenly, he heard someone yell his name. He recognized that voice. His head came up. "Katherine?" he whispered. He turned his head to see her running out of the forest. He blinked a few times. No, no. It was Elena. His attention kept wavering between her and the smell of blood coming from the girl in this arms.

As Elena ran, she scolded herself for interfering. She had been too curious to go out of earshot, but she had been doing so well staying out of things. Until now. She just couldn't stand by and watch Stefan force Damon to kill that girl. The transformation was already complete. He didn't have to kill her. "Let her go, Damon. Focus on me. Let her go. You don't want to kill her."

Damon flinched at the word "kill" and let go of the girl, stepping away from her. He had left the war because he hated all of the senseless deaths. He didn't want to become a murderer.

"How do you feel?" Stefan asked.

Damon looked around as Elena came to halt next to him, breathing heavily. It sounded so much louder than it used to. He could hear animals rustling in the forest. He could see Elena's face as if the sun was shining. "You were right. A whole new world."

"We can explore it together." Stefan responded.

Damon turned to look at him. "You got what you wanted. You and me for all of eternity. But hear this brother. I did not do this for you. And you _will_ help me protect her."


	7. Ch 7 Whats done is done

Elena stared up at the sky. How had life gotten this complicated? She thought back to the days with her parents. Back in the days when her next math test was her biggest concern. Back before her brother fell apart. Before Damon came waltzing into town. The bad-ass vampire causing mayhem everywhere he goes. Hating everyone. Killing people at random. Being so unpredictable that everyone walks around afraid of what will go wrong next. Before people started dying left and right. Before Katherine arrived in Mystic Falls and made everyone wish for the days when Damon first showed up. Before she found out about vampires, doppelgangers, and werewolves. Before she knew that there was a hybrid whose goal in life was to find and kill her. It seemed so unreal to her. For a few moments she imagined how wonderful it would be if she was a carefree 17 years old who had never heard of anything supernatural.

She turned her head to the left and studied Damon's profile as he lay beside her, watching the sky turn pink as the sun set on the horizon. She remembered the brief period between Damon coming to town and when she found out the Salvatore's were vampires. She remembered how much she had liked him at first. He had been funny and engaged with the people around him, even if it had seemed a little contrived. Then he began showing his manipulative side. After she found out what he was, she began seeing how cruel and cold he could be. Every time someone pushed him, he pushed back harder. Just when she started thinking he really did give a damn, he would do something horrible just to prove he didn't. It was like every time he did anything remotely nice he had to compensate by doing something bad. Now that she had come back in time, she began to realize what it had all been about. As a human, he was romantic, honest, caring, and funny. And in a lot of pain. Pain that in this time period he hid with a smile and gallantry, acting like it didn't exist. After that pain fermented during 145 years of frustration over Katherine and loneliness, he began hiding it by embracing his vampire nature, a nature he had never wanted. He found it easier to be hated than pitied. He violently rejected any weakness in himself. And caring was the biggest weakness of all. Not that she blamed him for feeling that way considering what the people who were supposed to care for him had done. His father rejected him and ultimately killed him, his brother turned him into something he didn't want to be after mercilessly stomping all over his heart with Katherine, and Katherine herself failed to give back to Damon half of what he gave her even though he chased after her for over a hundred years. In this version of history, the woman he changed into a vampire to protect... well, he won't even remember she exists, which makes the sacrifice just a little pointless. The bad-ass vampire image he presented so well was like a neon sign that says "stay out" and it makes it more than clear that if you even try to hurt him, not only will you be unlikely to succeed, but you'll definitely regret trying. That image was crumbling in the future. She often avoided thinking about why. It was too much responsibility for her to handle, knowing that the only thing keeping him in check was herself. She realized she wouldn't go back to before even if she could. Klaus had been bound to find her eventually and, as much as it hurt, it was probably better that her parents hadn't been around for that. God only knew what would have happened to them as they got caught in the cross fire. Aunt Jenna stabbing herself had been bad enough. Plus, Stefan and Damon had changed her life in good ways too. Stefan had brought her out of her shell. Stefan and Damon both taught her how strong she really was. Stefan through gentle understanding and love, pushing her to be her best. Damon by making her face things, no matter how ugly.

And this Damon lying beside her- she was more than glad that she had been given the opportunity to meet him. He was the gallant knight that every girl dreams about. It was going to be so hard to leave him behind, knowing what the years do to him. And she had absolutely no idea what she was going to tell Stefan. She cringed. She had become her worst nightmare.

"What is wrong?" Damon's voice brought her out of her reverie.

She looked up into his concerned gaze. He really did deserve as much of the truth as she could safely give him. He wouldn't remember she had even been here 24 hours from now, so really what harm could it do? Other than make him hate her, that is. "I need to explain some things to you..."

She paused, swallowed, and continued, "I am best friends with Emily Bennet's great-great-great-great granddaughter. A very old vampire told me to have her send me to 1864 so that I could retrieve a locket before his brother could steal it from him. His brother is the vampire that is trying to kill me."

His expression didn't change in the slightest. She had spoken so fast she wondered if he had even understood her. Then he blinked. And blinked again. "Great-great-great-_great-granddaughter?" _he asked incredulously. "So what, you were born over a hundred years from now?"

"I was born, am born, will be..." she made an exasperated sound. "1993. I was born in 1993."

He let out a low whistle. "I knew there was something more to your story." He paused, "Wait, is that how you knew Stefan's name without anyone telling you? And how you seemed to know so much about what was going on between Stefan, Katherine, and I? You know us, in the future? Or, at least, our story?" He took a deep breath and stared at the ground. Before Elena could answer, his eyes snapped to hers and narrowed in accusation, "You knew what was going to happen last night. You knew I..." his voice rose in anger, "You knew the whole time!"

Elena knew he could see the guilt written plainly on her face. "Yes, to all of it. I do know you and Stefan in the future. And I did know what was going to happen but I couldn't do anything that would change history. Bonnie says it is much too dangerous. What is done is done and should not be changed. I did too much as it is, interfering with you and that girl. You won't even remember I was here once I go back. That is how the spell works. All memory of me will be erased to help minimize the effect of my presence."

He looked up, staring hard at the sky. "In the original version of history, I killed that girl, didn't I? Stefan let me kill her?"

"Yes," she answered, so quietly she could barely hear herself. Even though Damon showed no indication that he heard her, she knew with his vampire hearing that he had.

After a while, he spoke softly, still staring at the sky, "Thank you. I left the war to escape the bloodshed. I don't need to be responsible for any more deaths." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her flinch. He tipped his head down to look her hard in the eyes. He saw regret, pain, and confusion swirling there. Pain lanced through him as he guessed at the cause. "Am I a monster? In the future?"

She tore her gaze from his. She couldn't stand to look in his eyes which were clear, unguarded, and young while thinking about how shuttered, cynical, and bitter they look 145 years and God only knew how many murders later. She didn't know how to answer. She had seen him be a complete monster, but she had also seen him act like he wants to be better but just doesn't know how. Was he a monster? With a lump in her throat, she saw him breaking her brothers neck and she squeezed her eyes shut against the pain.

"Oh." That one syllable was enough to make her heart feel like it was breaking in two. She could hear the pain and fear laced in his voice. When she looked at him again, he looked lost. She tried to imagine how she would feel to know that she was going to become everything she never wanted to be and had no way of stopping it. She knew that a man like Damon didn't handle helplessness well. But the fact was, he wasn't going to remember her or anything he did with her in this time. Which meant that she couldn't do anything to help him fight against the path that he would inevitably end up on. She couldn't give him the hope he needed to hold himself together through the lonely, painful years ahead. He would become a bitter and ruthless killer. It was only a matter of time. And the thought made her heart hurt. Because now she would know what he used to be, what he lost along the way. What she had lost.

Damon felt numb. He didn't know how long he sat, staring at nothing. But he finally shook himself, trying to clear his head. That was when he noticed the silent tears slipping down Elena's face to fall on the skirt of her dress. He captured her face in his hands and pressed his forehead to hers. "Please, do not cry. What is done is done. Is that not what you said? So what will happen will happen. But, we get to do as we wish until you leave, do we not? We will make the most of it. And we will meet again, in the future. So there is hope." He knew he was rambling, but, truth be told, it was all a bit much for him to process. His emotions were ridiculously heightened and swirling inside him, all tangled together. All he knew for certain was that this girl in front of him was the source of much of what he was feeling.

"In the future, you are so closed off and bitter. I think that you are in a lot of pain, but you don't show it. Instead, you lash out. You don't trust anyone with anything. I don't know how to reach you, how to help you."

He continued to frame her face in his hands but he pulled back slightly to look into her eyes. "I do not know who I become in the future, or exactly how I got there, but I have a good idea of what I must be feeling to be acting like that. But regardless of the circumstances, I promise you, that if you can look at me with the love I see in your eyes right now, if you can hold on to me and make it clear that you are never letting go, I will do anything, be anything for you. That is all I need." In that moment, he knew that he was holding everything he would ever need between his hands. In three days, she had done more for him than anyone else in his life combined, except for his mother. Even though he was a monster in the life she knew. He needed to touch her, needed to be surrounded by her more than he had ever needed anything in his life. He leaned in to kiss her but she turned her head so that his lips brushed her cheek instead.

"There is one more thing," she said. "It's really important and I should have told you sooner and I'm really sorry but everything is so different here than where I am from and its too easy to ignore everything and..." Damon placed a finger on her lips, silencing her.

"Breathe. Whatever it is, I forgive you," he said gently.

Her smile was rueful. "Don't worry, I won't hold you to that. I... well, in the future, men don't usually court women the way you are used to. Men and women spend time together unchaperoned all the time. Things are more... equal between the genders. It's called dating." She hesitated, taking a deep breath before continuing, "You and Stefan leave Mystic Falls for a long time. I met Stefan first. He came back to town first. And we..." she stopped and, a moment later, she saw realization dawn on Damon's face.

He jerked back and her heart dropped. Words began tumbling from her lips, "Like I said, you are a completely different person. And so is he. At least, it seemed like it at first. But I am beginning to see that I wasn't looking deep enough- in the future, I mean. I guess it's just easier to hate you than try to understand why you do the terrible things you do. And I want Stefan to be good so bad I have blinded myself to his bad qualities. But I am starting to understand and I am beginning to care for you, so much, and I am terrified that I'm becoming exactly who I vowed I would never be like. I never wanted to be like Katherine, but I..." Damon cut her off with a hard, swift kiss.

"You are nothing like her. _Nothing_. Do you understand? For her it is a game, a sick game. You have more heart in a single finger than she has in her whole body. You have made mistakes. Everyone does. But everything she has done has been deliberate. I suspect it has all been a carefully and ruthlessly orchestrated game to meet her own selfish ends. I do not believe you could purposefully hurt someone unless your life depended upon it. I never want to hear you compare yourself to her again. And unless I have gone completely blind during the years ahead, I am sure even my future self would agree that you are worth so much more than Katherine ever could have been. You don't even look the same." His fingers began tracing her face. "There is a warmth, a glow about you that she never had. It..."

This time, it was Elena's turn to cut him off by pressing her lips to his. The kiss quickly became one of blatant hunger and longing. Damon attacked her lips, pressing her down to the ground. But she was determined to hold her own and kissed him back just as fiercely, her hands yanking the hem of his shirt from his breeches so she could run her fingers up his stomach to his chest. He groaned suddenly and stood up, pulling her up into his arms. Her hands slid around to his back and she looked up at him, dazed and a little confused. Damon began running and Elena buried her face in his chest. They were moving so fast everything was a bit blurred and she was afraid if she looked she would be sick.

When he slowed to a jog, she looked around and saw that they were back at his house. He carried her up the steps, into the house, up the winding staircase, and right into what she assumed was his bedroom. He then deposited her on the bed and was undressed before she had even registered what he was doing. The mattress shifted under her as he climbed into the bed. Bracing himself over her, he leaned down and covered her lips with his own.

Elena knew that only a couple of minutes had passed since they had been kissing by the water, but it felt like it had been an hour. She eagerly threaded her tongue with his. In the back of her mind, she realized that this was wrong, that Stefan was waiting for her in the future, but at the same time it felt so perfect. Just like yesterday afternoon, after she had met with Jonathon Gilbert and his wife. She had spent the rest of yesterday and most of today trying not to think about it. Trying not to remember the feel of his lips, or the rasp of his hands as they had slid over her body. She still had no idea how it had happened. One moment, he was showing her the gazebo on his property and the next... As soon as his lips had met hers, she had been lost. He had been hesitant to take it further, he kept asking if she was sure even as their hands kept moving over each others skin like something terrible would happen if they lost contact. It had been sweet. And wholly unexpected. And irresistible. It had been a long time since she had been overwhelmed by passion for anything. The feeling that shoves aside all reason, that makes all worries fade away to nothing as one loses themselves in the joy of the moment. So instead of walking away from the insanity, she had wallowed in it. Wallowed in him, in the fireworks that exploded when they came together. As she pulled herself out of her memories, she realized that she was naked and he was staring down at her.

"Are you alright?" he whispered. "I can leave, if you want me to. If you don't want this. You can sleep here. I will find somewhere else to spend the night."

She reached up to stroke his cheek and she smiled, pushing her worries aside. He was right earlier when he said that what was done was done, what would be would be, and that they should enjoy what time they had. In for a penny, in for a pound.

She rolled them so that she was straddling him. She felt a jolt run through her as she came into intimate contact with everything Damon. "I was just thinking about how wonderful yesterday afternoon was. And how amazing we were under the sun this afternoon. And how much I was looking forward to repeating the process. Again," she leaned down and brushed her lips over his. "And again." Another brush. "And again." This time, her lips fully captured his and she felt like her body had caught on fire. No one had ever turned her on this much. She hadn't even known it was possible. His hands gripped her hips as his pelvis bucked slightly under her and his tongue drove into her mouth. In that moment, she forgot to breathe. She had one final thought before Damon's fingers slid to her center and she forgot her own name. _If only I had known how perfect it could be._

**If you liked it, I would love to hear from you, and if you didn't please be gentle but I would love to hear what you think I could have done better. At the end of the next chapter, Elena goes back to present day. And things, of course, go crazy.**


	8. Ch 8 Compulsions and desperation

Elena rolled onto her back, a sated smile on her face. She opened her eyes. The sun filtering through the curtains painted the ceiling gold. She stretched and found that she was deliciously sore. Damon had woken her up multiple times during the night and each time was more glorious than the time before, which seemed impossible considering how great the first time was. She laughed out loud. In that moment, she was nothing more than a normal girl, falling in love and happy with the world. The thought brought her up short. _Falling in love? _A frown replaced her smile and she sighed. She was definitely awake now, and the reality of her world was back. She had been living in a dream world for the past 12 hours. It had been wonderful, but now there would be hell to pay. She sighed again and rolled to her side, reaching for Damon. She was determined to settle in his arms and find just one more moment of peace before she had to go home and face the craziness her life had become, face the impossible decisions and responsibilities that she had to deal with. She frowned again. He wasn't there.

She picked up the paper that was on his pillow. _I had some very important errands to run before you leave. I will be back as soon as I can. Love always, Damon._ The pain that went through her chest was bittersweet. She hated the fact that he wouldn't remember her almost as much as she was thankful for it. It would make it easier for him. Losing Katherine had caused enough damage over the years.

At that moment, her thoughts were interrupted by the door to Damon's chamber swinging open. Elena gasped and pulled the blanket up to her neck. Stefan breezed in and sat down on the bed next to her as if he had every right to be there.

"What are you doing?" Elena exclaimed.

"No need to sound so scandalized," Stefan replied with a knowing smirk. "My hearing is quite good. I overheard much of your conversation with my dear brother yesterday. It seems he is developing quite the habit of trying to run off with what's mine." He reached out and trailed a finger down her cheek and Elena flinched. "It isn't surprising that I claim you for my own, considering how closely you resemble Katherine. But it really is inconsiderate of you to fall into my brothers arms at the first opportunity."

Elena pulled her head back and her eyebrows arched, "The fact that I look like Katherine is _not _why we are together. You don't know anything about our relationship or my relationship with your brother." As the words left her mouth, she realized how odd they sounded. But really, this Stefan is a completely different person than the one she knew in the future. Her eyes narrowed. Although, just like with Damon, she could see similarities. And not flattering ones, unfortunately. He was hardly ever straightforward about anything, he liked to rub his relationships in his brother's face which said lots of interesting things about his character, he was judgmental, and he had some serious self-control issues.

Stefan had been staring at her with a calculating glint in his eye. Now he leaned towards her and caught her gaze with his own, a predatory smile on his lips. Elena shivered but found herself unable to look away. "You will go back to the future as planned. When you get there, you will have nothing to do with my brother. Any help you need, you will get from me. You will not remember anything about your time alone with my brother from your time here in 1864. As for right now, I was never here. You woke up and called a maid to help you get dressed."

He then rose from the bed and strode out of the room, telling the maid in the hall that she could go in to help Elena.

Elena looked up as the maid came in. "Good morning." She then put a hand to her forehead. Her head felt slightly fuzzy.

"Good morning, miss," the maid replied.

Elena shook her head as she climbed out of bed. It had been a long few days. Hell, it had been a long year. It was really no wonder that she felt a bit muddled.

**. . .**

Elena was walking in the garden, her face turned up to the sun. She was singing _Until You_ by Shane Ward quietly to herself.

_I love the way you stand by me through any kind of weather_

_I don't wanna run away_

He really was amazing and God knows she had been doing enough running to last a lifetime.

_Just wanna make your day_

_When you feel the world is on your shoulders_

_I don't wanna make it worse_

_Just wanna make us work_

_Baby tell me I will do whatever_

She wasn't sure what she would do when she got back to her own time. She still had Stefan to consider, after all. It wasn't like she could expect him to understand. And Damon wouldn't remember any of it. She stopped singing as a shaft of pain ripped through her chest at the thought, startling her with its intensity. It would be like everything they shared never really existed at all outside her own mind. She let her mind drift over the last few days with Damon and resumed singing absentmindedly.

_It feels like nobody ever knew me until you knew me_

_Feels like nobody ever loved me until you loved_

_Feels like nobody ever touched me until you touched me_

_Baby, nobody, nobody_

_Until you_

Suddenly, she felt hands on her shoulders and she whirled around, automatically dropping into a crouch with her fists up.

Damon put his hands up in mock surrender. "Woah there, it's just me."

Elena straightened. "Sorry. It's instinct, I guess. Mystic Falls gets supernaturally dangerous in the future."

Damon stepped forward and slid his hands into her hair on either side of her face. "I understand. And what were you singing? I have never heard anything like it."

Elena laughed. "That's because music changes _a lot_ between now and when the song came out."

"Are you going to finish singing it?"

"Umm... I don't really sing when there are other people around."

"Well that is a shame because your voice is beautiful." His voice took on a husky quality as he slid one hand into her hair, cupping her head. "Just like the rest of you, body and soul."

God, how could anyone not love this man? The thought came out of no where and her whole body stilled.

"Elena?"

She shook herself almost imperceptibly. Then she started singing once again, even more softly than she was before, while staring into Damon's eyes.

_Baby it took just one hit of you, now I am addicted_

_You never know what's missing until you get everything you needed_

His breath was fanning her face and her skin tingled where his hands were touching her. In that moment, she knew she would never get enough of this, of him. He consumed her and she knew that should probably frighten her, but it didn't. Somehow, it was a comfort.

_See it was enough to know_

_If I ever let you go_

_I would be no one_

_Cause I never thought I'd feel all the things you make me feel_

Damon leaned in, bringing his lips mere centimeters from her own and her voice trailed off as she forgot all about singing. He could turn her brain to mush with barely any effort.

Damon kissed her, long and hard. His fingers traced the contours of her face and he memorized every line, every hollow. Then he set his hands to gliding over the hills and valleys of her body, memorizing them just as thoroughly. When he finally pulled back, Elena's breath was coming in short bursts.

Elena noticed the serious expression on his face. She had come to associate that look with life or death situations. "What's wrong?"

He took her hands in his, staring at their joined fingers for what seemed like an eternity.

"Damon?"

Damon glanced up into her eyes. Then, suddenly, he was on one knee in front of her.

Elena's eyebrows drew together in concern over his odd behavior as Damon continued to look up into her face.

He began speaking rapidly. "I know I am no longer human and I cannot provide the kind of life I wish I could. And I know you have a life and a family in the future. I know how selfish it is for me to ask, but I cannot let you leave without trying. Stay with me. Don't go back."

Tears filled her eyes and she closed her eyes against the pain welling up in her chest. She couldn't speak past the lump in her throat, couldn't tell him it was hopeless.

"Elena." Damon's voice cut through her whirling thoughts and she opened her eyes to see him holding a ring. She wouldn't have thought it possible, but her heart dropped even further. "Stay with me. Marry me. I promise to spend the rest of your life or eternity doing everything I can to keep you safe and make you happy."

Desperation was evident in his tone. She knew he wouldn't be doing this (in fact, none of what they had done in the last 3 days would have happened) if she wasn't leaving today. It was so much easier to be reckless when you knew no one would remember but you. Or, in Damon's case, that if it didn't go well you wouldn't remember failing. Being on a time limit, combined with his heightened emotions, and the fact that he had just lost Katherine was causing Damon to make rash decisions. She knew all this, but it still didn't make the moment any less real, any less painful.

She began crying in earnest. Part of her pain was for herself but for the most part her heart was breaking because she knew she was about to hurt him and she had no other options. She dropped to her knees and clenched his hands in her own. "The spell that sent me back won't... Damon, it will pull be back automatically. I don't have a choice, I have to go back."

She knew it was coming, but the pain that clouded his eyes still made her heart ache. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

His chin came up and a determined glint entered his eyes as he slid the ring in his hand on to her finger. "I knew there was a good chance you wouldn't, or couldn't, stay. But," he stopped as the air around Elena began to shimmer slightly. He had a good guess as to what that meant and began to speak faster. "I visited Emily. It will help me remember. The..." he flinched back as Elena literally just vanished.

A moment later, he shook himself and looked around. He immediately wondered why he was kneeling in the garden and, more importantly, why he couldn't remember the reason.

**I know how things have gone with them so far seems really rushed, considering, but I feel like being in a whole different world would make it easy to feel like your worries are really far away. Especially considering the extreme pressure Elena has been under. So I can totally see her falling into Damon's arms for a few days to hide from reality. He is vulnerable, hurting, gallant, and sexy which makes the sparks that fly between them way harder to ignore than when he is being violent and sarcastic.**

**Those are just my thoughts, feel free to drop me a line and let me know your thoughts. Next chapter, we will see how things go in the future with Elena being completely clueless thanks to Stefan's compulsion.**


	9. Ch 9 Death reveals all

Elena blinked up from her kneeling position on the forest floor. She tried to remember what she was doing the second before and came up blank. She rubbed her hands over face and felt something odd. She held her hand out and saw the ring. Frowning, she tried to remember where she had gotten it. It was a diamond. On her left hand. Like an engagement ring. But that was absurd. She was sure she would remember being engaged. She tugged the ring off her finger and slid it into her pocket. The sight of it disturbed her because she couldn't figure out where it was from. She would worry about it later.

She stood and brushed the dirt off her skirts. She looked around and realized she was by the ruins of the old Salvatore mansion. Turning, she picked up her skirts and started hiking toward town.

**. . .**

Damon paced the floor. She should be back today. If Elijah, Katherine, or his crazy blood-high brother hadn't killed her. He cursed and turned to pour himself another glass of bourbon. Before he had picked up the crystal decanter, he heard the front door open. A second later, he was in the hallway. He froze. As Elena looked at him through the hair that had fallen into her face, dressed in her 1800's garb, he forgot to breathe for a moment. Not that he needed to breathe anyway.

"So, you made it back alive," he said, when what he wanted to do is throw his arms around her and breathe in her scent.

She gave him a curt nod, then looked over his shoulder at Stefan, who was walking up behind his brother. A smile broke across her face and she moved forward just as Stefan brushed by Damon.

Damon turned and walked away as the two embraced. Who needed to see that again?

**. . .**

Two weeks later, Elijah, Damon, Stefan, Caroline, Alaric, and Elena were all gathered in the living room of the boarding house discussing the impending ritual with Klaus the following night. Bonnie was also present, but only through the computer video chat set up on the table. No need to bring her out of hiding and risk Klaus seeing her when you had technology.

"I still don't like this," Damon said.

Elena rolled her eyes, "Of course you don't. You never approve of anything that anyone else does. But you give yourself free reign to do all kinds of reckless things that get all kinds of people killed. Usually by you. But no one's asking your opinion."

The group all stared at Elena, shocked by her outburst.

"What? Did I say something that wasn't true?"

"You're right. I am stupid and reckless and I kill people. While you are stupid and reckless and try to get yourself killed and half the people around you while you're at it. Which is why I am always having to run around cleaning up your messes," Damon replied, anger more than evident in his tone.

"No one asked you to, Damon. In fact, I wish you would just stop. I don't want any of your help. I don't want anything to do with you. If I need any help, I'll ask Stefan. You know, my boyfriend? Not the vampire that has abused or killed almost everyone I care about. You are nothing but trouble."

Damon took a step back and for once, pain was evident on his face for the briefest of moments. Then his face went perfectly blank. "You know, I thought that maybe when you went back things would change. I always figured you would like me if you could have met me as a human. Or are you just reminded now that you are back of how far I have fallen? You know what, I will give you your wish. Once the ritual is over, I'll get out of your way. Assuming you are still alive." He glanced at Stefan. "You can update me later." With that, he turned and strode away. A moment later, they all heard the front door slam behind him.

For a moment, Elena felt a twinge of something. Felt like maybe she should care. Then she shrugged. "Anyway, about tomorrow..."

**. . .**

For Elena, the next day passed in a blur. Her and Stefan took a hike and talked about all kinds of things, trying to keep their minds off of what was going to happen that night. They both avoided mentioning Damon, though, after the awkward scene the night before.

By the time the sun started to dip to the horizon, Elena had begun swinging between feeling resigned and feeling panicked. If this didn't go well... No. She had to stop thinking that way. Things would be fine.

Stefan and her were standing in the driveway when Klaus arrived. Leaving Stefan standing there was the hardest thing she had ever done in her life, second only to burying her parents. But after tonight, Klaus would be dead and they could live happily ever after.

**. . .**

No one ever lived happily ever after. It was truly impossible. Elena had woken up after being killed to face the fact that her aunt was dead and Klaus was still alive. Things had all gone wrong. As usual. She wandered the house, remembering all the laughter, the good times when her, Jenna, Jeremy, and their parents would spend whole days together. Cooking in the kitchen. Watching movies in the living room. Staying up late talking on the porch. It was all gone.

Elena shook her head and headed up to bed. She doubted she would sleep, even though she was exhausted.

**. . .**

Elena was standing in her bedroom and Damon was in front of her, holding her necklace. Her hand went to her neck. Why did he have it? she wondered.

"I brought you this," he held the necklace out to her.

"I thought that was gone. Thank you," She knew she was talking, but she didn't seem to have any control over the words.

Damon pulled the necklace back when she reached out to take it. "I just have to say something?"

"Why do you have to say it with my necklace?"

"Well, because what I am about to say is probably the most selfish thing I have ever said in my life."

"Damon, don't go there." No. Why did she say that? She wanted to know what he was thinking. She never knew what he was thinking.

"I just have to say it once." As he took a step forward, she stepped back. Again, without permission from her mind. What the hell was going on?

Damon continued speaking, "You just need to hear it. I love you, Elena." A giddy feeling washed through her. "And it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you. Why you can't know this. I don't deserve you." No. You have no idea what you deserve. You are better than you think. She tried to force the words out of her mouth, but it was like she had no control over her voice. "But my brother does." Elena snorted in her mind. Yeah, right. Maybe the Stefan I thought existed. But he is not the kind of person I want to be with. Wait, what? Where had that thought come from? She was so confused. Damon stepped forward and kissed her forehead. Her body turned warm and she longed to wrap her arms around his neck, stop the pain she could hear in his voice. "God, I wish you didn't have to forget this." Oh, hell no. He was not going to erase her memory. "But you do." Son of a bitch. She saw a tear fall and her anger melted away, replaced by sorrow for him.

Suddenly, she was no longer in her bedroom. She was in another bedroom. She recognized it as the bedroom she had slept in when she was in 1864. That was when she realized she must be dreaming. Stefan was sitting next to her on the bed, staring at her. The look in his eyes scared her. They were cold, calculating. He leaned towards her and smiled, a creepy smile that made her feel like he was the snake and her the mouse. "You will go back to the future as planned. When you get there, you will have nothing to do with my brother. Any help you need, you will get from me. You will not remember anything about your time alone with my brother from your time here in 1864. As for right now, I was never here. You woke up and called a maid to help you get dressed."

Elena jolted awake. She looked frantically around her bedroom. She was home, in bed, alone. She thought about the first dream. Damon holding her necklace. Her saying she thought it was gone. The only time she thought she had lost her necklace was the night Damon and Stefan came to rescue her from Elijah. The night that her necklace ended up around her neck without her remembering how it got there. And the second dream. She searched her mind, trying to remember what had happened while she was in the past. Every other time she had tried, there were blanks in her memory. Bonnie had said that maybe it was a side affect of the spell. This time, though, she was assaulted with memories. Of her. And Damon. Together. Memories of naughty activities, sweet moments, and serious conversations paraded through her mind.

She could only think one thing, over and over. Oh. My. God.


	10. Ch 10 The best laid plans

The more Elena went over the memories in her mind, the more real they became. Every look, every smile, every touch, every tear. She struggled with the fact that for everyone else involved, it was not a few days ago, it was never. She was the only one with the memories. The beautiful ones and the heartbreaking ones. She was carrying a lot on her shoulders. There had been too many tragedies, too much violence, too much constant worry. But carrying these memories, knowing she was the only one to remember them- the weight of that was crushing. She usually could depend on others to understand, to help her through. But how could she expect anyone to understand this? Bonnie and Caroline would probably be appalled. Damon... well, she couldn't say anything to him, at least not yet. How weird would that be? Explaining to him how they had a history he knows nothing about. Stefan would be devastated. And everyone else... well, she would lose them at "I went back in time."

How was she supposed to just act like it never happened? She would be living with one version of reality in her mind and acting out a different version. No, it would never work. But she would have to take it slow, in baby steps. She couldn't just dump everything on people. Things had happened way too fast. She didn't even know what she had been thinking. She obviously wasn't thinking. She had the opportunity to get away from her own life and all her responsibilities and she took it. Acted rashly, on instinct, without a care for the consequences. She would be more careful this time. She would have to start with letting Stefan know it was over. Because, obviously, if she was willing to get involved with Damon the way she had, it was over with Stefan. Then, she would have to start on the monumental task of convincing Damon that it was all going to be okay because in this time period he was like a wild animal- unpredictable, afraid of showing weakness, and snapping at anyone that came within reach. He had said in 1864 that all he needed was for her to show him she really cared. But she would have to ease into it because it would be hard for him to believe anything would last after everything both Katherine and herself had put him through.

At least, that is what she would do if she decided she could actually be with Damon. The idea of letting Damon in made her feel panicked and excited at the same time. She did not want to be Katherine. She did not want to start WWIII between the Salvatore brothers. She did not want to let him in only to have him leave her broken on the side of the road. And she knew that to be with Damon was to accept eternal life. Because to be with him and then die on him was to unleash all kinds of hell on the world. If she let him love her and left him, it would break him. That was not an acceptable option. On the other hand, she wanted to run her hands all over him. She wanted to erase the haunted look from his eyes. She never wanted him to look at her the way he did when he returned her necklace.

A thousand thoughts were racing through her mind as she stood up. Step one was to deal with Jenna's funeral. Jenna deserved the focus to be on her right now. She has sacrificed her life to a fight that had never been hers to fight. Step two was to find a way to apologize to Damon for all the awful things she said to him since coming back from 1864. Step three was to inform Stefan what she thought of his character after seeing him as a human and being compelled by him. He had some serious issues just under the surface that he needed to work on. Then she was going to let him know that they were officially done. Step four was to find a way to explain to Bonnie and Caroline what happened with her and Damon in the past because she would need some serious advice. And step five was to decide what to do about Damon.

**. . .**

Jenna's service was beautiful. And ridiculously draining. Elena flopped down on her bed. Her eyes drifted shut and her mind wandered over the day. Her eyebrows drew together as she realized she hadn't seen Damon all day. In fact, she hadn't seen him since a brief glimpse before she died during the ritual. Well, she hadn't seen him in real life. But she had seen him in her mind every moment that she wasn't thinking about Jenna for the past two days. She groaned and rubbed her hands over her face. She was in so much trouble.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket, trying to decide which Salvatore to call first. In the end, she decided to stick to her original plan. Step two. Find a way to apologize to Damon. She called him and it immediately went to voicemail. She frowned. His phone was never off.

She called Stefan next. He answered on the second ring. "Elena." He didn't sound happy to hear from her.

"Hey," she said uncertainly. "Do you know where Damon is? I owe him an apology for being so rude the other day but I haven't seen him."

"Uh. I was hoping to put off telling you for a while longer but I've got some bad news."

Her heart sank. "What happened?"

"The night of the ritual, Damon rescued Tyler and Caroline. Klaus was originally going to use them in the ritual. Tyler... well, Tyler turned. And Damon was in the line of fire."

In that moment, she could have sworn her heart stopped. She sat down, hard.

"Elena?" Stefan sounded worried. He heard Elena take a deep, stuttering breath. "Hey. I don't want you to worry. I'm going to find a cure. Okay? There has to be one somewhere. I just have to find it. Listen, I'm sorry but I have to go. I'm meeting with someone about this. I love you."

Elena heard the line go dead. How was this possible? Every time she started to get her feet back under her, something else came along to knock her off balance. She couldn't even wrap her mind around this. The idea of Damon dying was so unreal. He was vibrant, with a kind of energy that just rolled off of him. The idea of that energy just disappearing was ridiculous. She took a deep breath. And prayed that Stefan found something soon.

**. . .**

She had been pacing the floor for three hours. Every so often she tried calling Damon, only to find his phone was still off, and then she would call Stefan, who didn't answer.

When she heard the knock on the door, she flew down the stairs. Stefan was standing on the porch. "Stefan. What's going on? Did you find something?"

Stefan shook his head. "I'm sorry, Elena."

"No. No." Elena frantically shook her head. The tears started to fall a moment later. "I... You are going to have to say it. I'll never believe it if you don't say it."

"He's gone, Elena." Stefan felt the words leave his mouth and wished he could call them back. He hated compulsion. It really was a bitch. And Klaus- well, he was the very devil himself.

Elena felt her legs give out from under her. Stefan grabbed her as she fell and eased them both to the ground as Elena began to sob. They sat on the floor in the open doorway, his arms around her as she clutched at his shirt and cried so hard he was sure she would shake apart. They sat that way until she had completely exhausted herself and fell asleep. Then her carried her up to bed, tucked her in, kissed her forehead, and left the house. On the way out, he called Caroline. Someone needed to watch over Elena in the morning.


	11. Ch 11 Nothing to say

Stefan sent Caroline a text "Elena awake yet?"

Setting his phone down, he sighed. He hadn't been able to lie to Caroline when he had called last night. Klaus' compulsion made it so that he couldn't tell anyone what had happened with Klaus or Damon and that if anyone asked he had to act like he hadn't been able to save his brother. That didn't mean he had to voluntarily go around saying Damon was dead. So he had told Caroline that Damon had left town after the ritual. Nothing more. Elena would fill her in.

His phone buzzed and he opened it. It read "Not yet."

Maybe he could find a way to let Elena know that he had lied. Although he may not have. Damon's phone kept going straight to voice-mail and Katherine was not well known for doing as she was told. What if she didn't take Damon the cure when Klaus told her to? He shook his head. One problem at a time. First he had to figure out how he was going to eat without killing anyone. Klaus was a bastard. In every sense of the word.

Elena frowned as her eyes drifted open. Her head was pounding and even though she had just woken up, she felt like hadn't slept for a week. She sat up, swung her feet to the floor and worked to wake herself up. As her feet touched the cold floor, an unrelated chill swept down her spine as everything from the night before flooded into her mind. She couldn't believe that she had forgotten, even for a moment. On the other hand, she wished she could forget again. She sat, frozen. She didn't even know what to do with a world in which Damon did not exist. He had become a constant in her life. He provided the strength that kept her going when her own strength failed. And now he was gone. She began to sob silently as grief took over, leaving the world bleak and cold in its wake.

**. . .**

"Elena's awake," Caroline told Bonnie quietly.

"Let's go upstairs then," Bonnie said, standing.

Caroline grabbed her hand. "Stefan says she's taking Damon leaving really hard. We need a plan. We can't just barge in there and act like everything's fine."

"I'm sure she was just overwhelmed by everything last night. Damon actually leaving is surprising, but not really unwelcome news," Bonnie responded.

"I'm not so sure about that, Bonnie." Caroline wasn't stupid. She knew that even though Elena acted like she couldn't stand Damon half the time that there was more going on there than Elena wanted to admit.

Bonnie rolled her eyes, "This is Damon we're talking about. The resident vampire that we all love to hate. I think we should be happy he is gone and a worrying about how Elena is doing without Jenna."

Caroline let go of her hand, not at all certain that Elena would get over it as easily as Bonnie thought. But nothing she said would change Bonnie's mind. So she stood up, "Okay, let's go assess the damage."

Elena heard a knock on her door. As she opened her mouth to tell whoever it was to come back later, the door opened. She sighed. She just didn't have the energy to deal with people today. She didn't have the energy to pretend that it would all be okay, to be the brave, strong Elena that weathers every storm with her head held high.

"Hey, Elena," Caroline said tentatively.

"Stefan called Caroline. He said you were having a hard time with everything. So we came here to have a girls day, you know, to get your mind off everything," Bonnie said.

A hard time with everything? Seriously? That was an understatement if she had ever heard one. Out loud, Elena said, "Not today. I just want to be alone today."

Bonnie sat down next to her on the bed. "I know things have been rough, but Jenna wouldn't want you to hole up in the dark, alone."

"Neither would Damon," Caroline added. "But we understand if you need some time."

"On your way out, please check on Jer."

Bonnie and Caroline exchanged a look. Dismissing someone without so much as a goodbye was not Elena's style.

Caroline could tell Bonnie was about to argue with Elena, so she quickly jumped in. "Okay, Elena, will do. But we will be back tomorrow." Then she grabbed Bonnie's arm and towed her out of the room, closing the door behind her.

"When your grams died, you needed time to yourself. Now its Elena's turn."

Bonnie nodded. "You're right. Okay. I'm going to go see Jer. He's at the Grill. See you later?"

Caroline nodded and Bonnie left. Several minutes later, Caroline was still standing in the hallway, staring at Elena's door and thinking. She had been wondering for a while about Damon and Elena. Which is why she had been so surprised at how Elena had treated him after she came back from 1864. She would have thought that seeing human Damon would have helped her gain a new perspective. There had not been a good time to ask about what had happened to make her so angry with him. And why was she so happy a few days ago to hear him say he would be leaving town but so broken up about it now? She would give Elena some time. But she would come back tonight. Without Bonnie.

**. . .**

At 10 o'clock that night, Caroline decided she had given Elena enough time. She used the house key that she had taken off of Elena's key ring that morning to get into the Gilbert house.

When she got to Elena's door, she knocked, waited 3 seconds, and then walked into the room.

"Elena?" No response. "It's just me this time." Still no answer, but Caroline could tell by Elena's breathing that she was awake. "I know you are awake. Do you want to talk about it?"

"If I had wanted to talk, I would have said so this morning." Elena's angry retort was loud in the silent room. She had gone from unbelievable sadness, to complete exhaustion, and now she was angry. She was angry with herself for not recognizing the good in Damon sooner, for not realizing how much he was hurting. She was angry with Stefan for compelling her in 1864. She was angry with Damon for being near a werewolf on the night of a full moon. And now she was angry with Caroline for not just leaving her the hell alone like she had said she would.

Caroline let out a breath she hadn't even noticed she was holding. She was helpless against silence, but she could deal with anger. "What are you really angry about Elena?"

"Nothing. Just leave." She was afraid if she talked about why she was angry she would quit being angry. And she was afraid to find what was left when the anger was gone. She was afraid she would just be left completely empty.

If she could make Elena angry enough, she thought they might actually get somewhere. "Okay, so I know you are pissed that Damon left town. But, seriously, what did you expect? You told him to leave Elena."

Elena sat up abruptly and stared at Caroline, incredulous. "Left town? You think he just _left town_? I would not be laying in bed all day crying because Damon left town."

Caroline's eyebrows drew together in confusion. "But Stefan said he left town after the ritual."

"Well, then, he conveniently left out the part where Damon died," her voice was heavy with bitterness.

Caroline felt like the bottom had dropped out of her stomach. There must be a mistake. The thought of Damon, so virile, so assured, dead was simply unconscionable. "What?" She couldn't manage to form any other thought.

"Your boyfriend killed him, Caroline. Damon rescues you and gets repaid with a werewolf bite. And now he's gone." Her voice broke on the last word and a fresh batch of tears began coursing down her cheeks. She was too tired and too lost to stay angry. Confusion and a swelling, overwhelming tide of loneliness was all that was left. "God, its... How? How could this have happened, Caroline?"

Caroline shook her head. She didn't have any answers, just questions. More questions than she knew what to do with. The thought of Damon being dead was too unreal to properly process. She walked over to the bed and sank down on it.

She shook her head again and reached out to take Elena's hand. The two girls sat there like that, unmoving, staring at each other, as seconds turned to minutes and minutes turned to hours.

Because really, what was there to say?

**Hope you liked it, despite the lack of Damon. Damon will be back in Chapter 16. In the meantime, Elena goes through a lot.**


	12. Ch 12 Most Fucked Up Town Ever

Caroline had left sometime during the early morning hours after Elena had fallen into an exhausted slumber. That evening, her and Bonnie showed up and dragged her out of bed. They stayed home for a dinner and movies night.

The next day was Saturday and her friends were insisting she get some fresh air, so Elena agreed to a picnic. Elena knew she couldn't hide in her house forever, even if she wanted to.

On Sunday afternoon, the girls all went out for ice cream and Elena smiled for the first time since she came back from 1864, Elena smiled. Caroline noticed that the smile didn't quite reach her friends eyes, which looked haunted and unbearably sad, but it was a start.

A month went by and Elena was keeping herself busy. She avoided anything that might remind her of Damon. If she ignored the hole in her chest long enough, she figured the pain would eventually recede to a somewhat manageable level. As the days passed, she was surprised to find that between household chores, the summer class she was taking, and hanging out with Caroline and Bonnie they were all living relatively normal lives. She was surviving.

One morning, she opened the cupboard beneath the sink to get a new roll of toilet paper and saw a box of tampons. This caused her to laugh for the first time in what seemed like forever. She should have started her menses the day after the ritual and she laughed because it occurred to her that she should forgive her usually very regular cycle for being off considering she had gone back in time and then died. She realized that it shouldn't be that funny, but it felt so good to laugh and once she started laughing she couldn't seem to stop. Her life had turned into an ironic cosmic joke. She decided that she really should make a movie and call it The Tragedy of the Most Fucked Up Town Ever. Seriously, her diary already reads like some horror/tragic romance novel. She would end the movie with her own death after everyone around her dies one by one like in B list horror films. And she would write it to be as funny as possible because, really, someone somewhere should get some laughs out of this disaster.

By this point in her musings, she was slumped on the bathroom floor, tears streaking her face, still giggling uncontrollably.

That was how Bonnie and Caroline found her a couple of minutes later. Elena looked up and managed to stop laughing long enough to say "Hey, Bonnie! You should make a note in one of your books. When you die and come back to life, it throws off your menstrual cycle. Just put under the 'How to Make Someone a Fully-Functioning Zombie' spell 'P.S. This may cause problems for women and their friend TOM.' She then started giggling again.

Bonnie and Caroline stared at her, wide-eyed for a few moments, then Caroline began to giggle. Bonnie looked confusedly from Elena to Caroline and back to Elena.

"How to make someone a fully-functioning zombie spell?" Caroline choked out between gales of laughter.

"Yeah," Elena responded, "I decided we should make a horror spoof movie based on Mystic Falls. So everything needs a ridiculous title."

Bonnie began to giggle too. "What would we title the movie?"

**. . .**

The next day, Elena called Stefan. She knew that she should have checked on him sooner- he had lost his brother and after all he had done for her, she could at least be there for him now. She frowned as it went to voicemail. It was the third time she had called.

"What's wrong?" Caroline asked as she sat across from Elena at the Grill.

"Stefan isn't answering his phone."

"Why don't you just head over to the boarding house and check on him?"

Elena looked away. The thought of going to the house, of being somewhere that would remind her so strongly of him, was overwhelming.

"Right," Caroline said after a few moments. "I'll go check, okay?"

Elena looked up again. "Thanks. I just... I can't."

"I understand. I'll head over now and let you know."

Elena nodded and Caroline slid out of the booth, giving Elena a hug before she left.

Elena fidgeted in her seat for a while, then decided to go home and wait for Caroline to call her.

She was just stepping in her front door when her phone rang.

"Hey, hon. I'm sorry, but Stefan isn't here. Some of his dresser drawers are open, clothes are all over the bed, and his car keys are gone. It looks like he packed up and left in a hurry."

Elena nodded, then felt silly. Even Caroline's super-hearing couldn't hear a nod over the phone. She cleared her throat, "Okay, thanks for letting me know."

"You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

Caroline didn't respond. Elena sighed, "It's just that they are both gone now and it's so surreal."

"I know. Listen, I'll come over and we can drown our troubles in ice cream."

"No, it's okay, Car. I just want to get some sleep."

"Okay, well call me if you change your mind."

"Night, Car."

"Night, 'Lena."

**. . .**

Elena was sitting at the Grill a few weeks later with Bonnie and Caroline. Caroline was going on about Homecoming, which was still over three months away. Elena wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to the conversation but looked up when Bonnie, clearly irritated, snapped at Caroline.

Bonnie sighed. "Sorry, Caroline. I'm just PMS-ing."

Caroline's smile, which had faded at Bonnie's snippy tone, came back. "Nothing a little chocolate can't fix!" She then produced a chocolate bar out of her purse.

"It must be nice not having to deal with it anymore," Bonnie grumbled.

Caroline's smile disappeared again. "Yeah, except for the part where I can't, you know," her voice trailed off.

Bonnie reached out and grabbed Caroline's hand. "I'm sorry, I didn't think about it." She glanced at Elena, who had gone a bit pale and was staring into space, her fingers moving as though she was counting something on them. "Elena?" When Elena didn't respond, she touched her arm. Elena's gaze snapped to Bonnie's.

"What's wrong, Elena?" Caroline asked, pulling her hand from Bonnie's grasp and grabbing Elena's hand to stop it's movement.

"It's probably nothing," Elena responded, shaking her head.

"Every time we have thought that, we have regretted it. What's up?"

"I haven't had my time of the month since the ritual. It's been two months."

"Maybe you should make an appointment with a doctor. I'll do some digging, but we don't know if it is magic related," Bonnie pointed out.

Elena nodded, "Yeah, okay. I'll call after school." She looked up at the clock, "We had better be getting to class."

"We can go with you, if you'd like. You know, to the doctor," Caroline offered.

"No, it's okay. I'll let you know how it goes."  
><strong>. . .<strong>

Three days later, Elena walked out of the doctor's office and slid into the driver's seat of her car. She stared through the windshield, looking at nothing in particular, her thoughts whirling.

She was still sitting there 20 minutes later when her phone rang. Reaching into her purse, she pulled out her phone and saw it was Bonnie calling.

Taking a deep breath, she answered the call. "Hello?"

"Hey. How'd the appointment go?"

Elena could not have this conversation over the phone. She still had no idea what she should say, how she could possibly explain, what she would do.

"Elena? Is everything okay?"

Elena shook herself. She had to say something. "Um, yeah, I'm starving. Wanna meet at the Grill?"

"Yeah, sure. I actually have something I need to talk to you about," Bonnie responded.

"Okay. The Grill in 15 okay with you?"

"Yeah, see you there."

**. . .**

Elena chose a booth in a back corner. She wanted some privacy for this conversation. She gave Bonnie a half-smile when she slid into the booth across from her.

"I went ahead and ordered your favorite."

Bonnie nodded and, picking up a napkin, she began methodically shredding it from one corner.

"So what's going on with you?" Elena asked.

"I've been trying to find out where my mother went."

Elena didn't say anything, waiting for her to continue, and trying to block out her own swirling thoughts and emotions.

"And I," she glanced up and then looked back down at her napkin, "I found her. She lives only about 30 minutes from here."

Elena's eyes widened in surprise. "Bonnie, that's... that's great," she said, trying to gauge her friend's thoughts on the situation. "That is a good thing, right?"

Bonnie put what was left of the napkin down and looked up. "Yeah, I mean, sort of. But then, she has been so close and has never been to see me so maybe she doesn't want to."

Elena reached out and took Bonnie's hand. "I understand. When I found out I was adopted I wanted to know who my parents were but on the other hand I kind of didn't."

"I was wondering if you would come with me. You know, to go see her."

"Yeah, no problem. Just tell me when."

"Tomorrow after school okay? Waiting won't make it easier."

"Yeah, that's fine." It would help keep her mind off her own problems. It's true that waiting wouldn't make it easier, but maybe with some time she could at least find the words to explain to her friends what was going on.

At that moment, their food arrived. As the smell of the burgers reached her nose, Elena's stomach rolled. "Bathroom," she bit out as she quickly slid out of the booth and rushed to the bathroom.

She barely made it in a stall before she began throwing up. As she caught her breath, she heard the bathroom door opening.

"Elena?"

"Just give me a minute." She flushed the toilet and carefully stood. As she reached to open the stall door, she noticed her hand was shaking. Walking past Bonnie to the sink, she said, "I just suddenly felt nauseous. Sorry."

"No, its fine. Is there anything I can do?"

"If you could just have the waiter put my food in a to-go box, that would be great. I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay," Bonnie responded and left the bathroom.

Elena braced herself on the sink and stared at her reflection. She could see the fear in her own eyes and had to push back the panic spreading through her body. With shaking fingers, she turned on the faucet and splashed water on her face. Taking a deep breath, she worked to steady her nerves. She would figure this out. Once she figured out a way to tell Caroline and Bonnie, they would find a way through this. Just like they had found a way through everything else. But she would help Bonnie through her situation first. Bonnie had been there for her during the countless crises surrounding her in the last year. She deserved to have a day to concentrate only on her own problems for once.


	13. Ch 13 Already low and falling

**The chapter is extra-extra long so enjoy. As a warning, this chapter has more violence than usual.**

"Make a left here," Bonnie told Elena. She looked out the window at the passing scenery and fought off a wave of panic. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea."

"Bonnie, you are a witch who has faced death and won how many times now? You can handle this. The worst that can happen is she tells us to leave and you can move on instead of worrying about it. It'll be difficult but Caroline and I will always be here. And at least you'll know." She saw the worried frown on Bonnie's face and hastened to add, "But I am sure she will be happy to see you. She probably came back to live near Mystic Falls but figured you wouldn't want to see her or something."

Bonnie nodded distractedly. "It's the house coming up on our right."

Elena pulled into the long drive and stopped in front of the house. Unbuckling her seat belt, she leaned over and gave Bonnie a hug. "I'll be with you the whole time."

Bonnie nodded and opened her car door. When they got to the door of the house, she hesitated for just a moment, then she squared her shoulders and knocked.

The shock on the face of the woman that opened the door would have been comical if Bonnie hadn't been so nervous.

As Bonnie searched her mom's face, she felt a strange mix of relief, happiness, anger, pain, and loneliness.

"I," her mom began before pausing. She then stepped back, "Please, come in."

Bonnie didn't know what to say so she just stepped into the house without a word.

Elena cleared her throat and offered her hand to Bonnie's mom, trying to ease the awkwardness. "Hi, I'm Elena, one of Bonnie's best friends."

Bonnie's mom took her hand. "Elena Gilbert, the doppelganger."

Elena's eyebrows rose and she glanced at Bonnie, unsure of how to respond.

"How do you know about that?" Bonnie demanded. She couldn't help being suspicious. Most people they had met that knew about Elena had turned out to be untrustworthy at best and unfeeling monsters at worse.

"A vampire named Michael came to town hunting for the doppelganger. I couldn't take the chance that he knew it Elena was the doppelganger, so I led him out of town and managed to entomb him. Lost most of my magic in the process."

"And then what? Just decided to never come back?" the bitterness was thick in Bonnie's voice.

"Your father hated my magick. I loved it, but hated the responsibility that came with it. For the first time I was free. I could start over and no one would know what I was, know what I had lost, or expect anything I couldn't give. No more hiding or worrying. I know Mom would watch over you and this way I could spare you your father and I's bitterness. You wouldn't have to choose between me, Mom, and magick and him. Because when the time came for you to train, he would have made you choose." At that moment, a timer in the kitchen dinged. "Oh, I need to get the chicken out of the oven." She turned and disappeared down a hallway.

Bonnie stared after her for a moment, confusion etched into her features. She really didn't know what to think.

Elena took her hand and squeezed it. She led Bonnie into the kitchen. The smell of the roasted chicken permeated the kitchen and Elena felt her stomach churn. Not again, she thought. Aloud, she asked quickly, "Where's the bathroom?"

"Second door on the left," Bonnie's mom responded, pointing down the hall.

Elena turned and ran, barely making it to the toilet before heaving the contents of her stomach.

"Elena?" Bonnie appeared behind her, clearly worried.

"I'm fine, Bonnie," Elena said, hoping Bonnie would drop it but knowing that was really unlikely.

"This is the second time in two days the smell of food has sent you running for the bathroom. Maybe we should take you to the doctor.

"I already went to the doctor, Bonnie. I just have an upset stomach. It'll pass."

"I don't think a gynecologist really counts as a doctor. What if something went wrong because of the necklace? Or the trip to the past. First, your cycle. Now your stomach. I'm pretty sure human's aren't meant to die and come back to life."

Bonnie's mom's voice came from the hallway. "Maybe Elena would like to sit in the living room and eat some crackers."

"That sounds like a good idea," Elena responded. "Go sit down, Bonnie. I'll wash up and be there in a minute."

Bonnie nodded, worry lines still evident on her face.

As soon as Bonnie was gone, her mom stepped into the doorway of the bathroom. "If it is what I think it is, you know you can't hide it forever, right? Unless you're planning to..."

"No," Elena said, cutting her off. "I can't even imagine... I will tell her. I'm just trying to find the right time." She swished some water around her mouth, spit it out, and brushed past Bonnie's mom.

A minute later, Bonnie's mom joined them in the living room and handed Elena some crackers.

"Um," Bonnie hesitated. It seemed odd to ask her mom for advice. "Elena used a necklace to protect her from dying. That is a really long story, but the point is that she died and the necklace or possibly a spell her father used, brought her back. Do you think that could have caused lasting damage?"

Bonnie's mom caught Elena's gaze, her face sympathetic. "There is no time like the present."

Bonnie looked from Elena to her mom and back again.

"What's going on?"

Elena sighed, "I was going to tell you at the grill yesterday, but you were worried about coming here and I wanted today to be about you, not me."

"No secrets, remember? Not even for a couple days. What is it?"

Elena turned to Bonnie's mom. "I went back in time in order to get the necklace. That is another long story. But that of course meant that I met the Salvatore brothers, back when they were human. I know them as vampires because they came to town about a year ago and have been helping. In fact, I have been dating Stefan Salvatore." Now that she had given Bonnie's mom the basic background details, she turned to Bonnie. "I need you to be understanding. I know you hate Damon, but he was different as a human. He was hurting but he wasn't bitter and angry. He reminded me of the witty, charming, funny, kind Damon that he was when he first came to town.

Bonnie cut her off, "You mean before he showed his true colors and we realized he was a violent, heartless murderer?"

Elena flinched at the venom in Bonnie's voice and looked away. She sighed, "You and I both know there is more to him than that. But the point I am trying to make is that 150 years of loneliness and heartache is what bred that side of him. In the past, he was loyal, caring, funny, and did I mention very, very charming?" She smiled a little. "It was so wonderful to know that as long as I didn't attract any undue attention or do anything that would irrevocably change history, I could say anything, do anything and there weren't any consequences because I would be the only one that remembered. There was no Klaus, I didn't have to wonder what would happen because I already knew the future. Seeing them as humans- it was so different and really enlightening. I was so tired of always being responsible, or worrying. I just wanted to be reckless, do something just because I wanted to do it without thinking it to death." She paused and took a deep breath. "And I did. So I don't know how it happened or why because I didn't really think it through. Human Damon and I were taking a walk. We were laughing, his eyes were clear, unguarded. I thought about how Stefan and Katherine had been treating him that day, how they had paraded in front of him and how he let them with a smile fixed on his face. A man that could love so fully despite their behavior, despite his father's scorn, that could laugh and believe in the world through it all deserved better than what he was getting. He left the war because he hated the senseless loss of life. He told me, someone he barely knew, ..." she paused. "He deserved someone who could give him the world. And, for once, I went with my instinct and said to hell with my head. He was passionate and gentle and such a gentleman it was endearing. The world had shrunk to just us and for a while, everything was perfect." Her voice trailed off as she stared at nothing, lost in her memories.

Elena had painted the picture so well that Bonnie could actually picture Damon the way he had been. Surprisingly, she felt herself soften slightly towards him. Then she wondered what all of that had to do with Elena's illness. A moment later, the pieces clicked together. Damon had been human. And Elena had said he was "passionate" and "gentle." Which meant that... her jaw dropped open. "Oh my God. Please tell me you are not _pregnant!"_

_**. . .**_

At first, Bonnie and Caroline were at just as much of a loss as she was, but, as usual, they quickly rallied. As Caroline pointed out, if they could figure out how to survive when a vampire over a thousand years old is trying to kill them they can surely figure out something as simple as a pregnancy. Even if it was a teenage pregnancy that began over a hundred years ago with a man that is now dead. That was the hardest part for Elena. Bonnie and Caroline were great but she wished Damon was here. She missed his smile, his touch, his strength, she even missed fighting with him. Every day, Caroline got more excited, Bonnie a bit more accepting, and Elena a bit more troubled. The idea of raising a child on her own was so daunting. In the last year, she had spent many nights wondering if she would see the sunrise the next day, or the next week. Now, trying to see the future of not just herself but her child was unimaginable.

**. . .**

It had been six weeks since the doctor appointment and she was trying to be excited and happy. She was pushing through this tragedy just like she had all the others. It was just taking her a little longer as she fought against the depression that threatened to pull her under. And that was exactly what it felt like – a weight pulling her down, trying to drown her in its black depths.

That morning, she noticed that her stomach was rounder. As she had been running her hands over the baby bump, she was sure she had felt the baby move. The small flutter was enough to make her smile and, for the first time in a while, she felt happy. Now she was headed to the Grill to meet Caroline and Bonnie, determined to have a good time. On the way into the restaurant, she bumped into Stephanie, a girl she knew from English class last year.

"Hi, Elena! How are you doing?"

"Oh, um, I'm doing alright. Just meeting some friends for dinner. See you in class." Elena started to move around Stephanie when the other girl spoke again.

"You dated Stefan Salvatore last year, right?"

Elena stopped moving and looked at her, startled.

"I know its strange for me to ask but have you, you know, talked to him recently?"

Elena just stared at her. Why was she asking these questions?

"I, well, it's really none of my business, I know, but people have been talking about how he never came back to school this year, and then I literally ran into him today and he didn't look so good. I just... Everyone needs a friend, you know. There was something about his eyes... it's been bothering me, even though I didn't know him that well. I'm just one of those people, you know, I chase down every stray dog I find, trying to get it home to its owner, even if it means running around for hours. Anyway, I'm going to quit rambling now- I just thought I would mention it."

The next day found Elena driving to the boarding house. It was almost midnight. The thought of coming to the house, of being somewhere that would remind her so strongly of him, was overwhelming.

She pulled up in the driveway and felt her whole body freeze- she couldn't move, she couldn't even breathe. The idea that she would never again walk in the house to see Damon with a glass of bourbon and a half-smile just seemed so unreal. Her heart sped up and her hands began to shake. She couldn't do this. She could. Not. Do this. Her hand went to turn the key when she heard a scream from inside the house. She didn't think, she just jerked open her door, stumbled out of her car and ran to the front door. Throwing it open, she rushed into the house and, a moment later, stopped dead in her tracks as she took in the scene in the living room. There was a girl sprawled on the floor, her neck covered in blood, clothes torn, eyes open and unseeing. On the couch was a second girl, naked and screaming. Stefan was on top of her, riding her at a frantic pace with his teeth sunk into her neck. Every instinct in Elena's body screamed for her to run, to run and never look back. Instead, after a moment or two Elena felt her body unfreeze and she began to scream at Stefan.

Stefan instantly became eerily still as his head came up and his eyes trained on Elena. Then, with a sudden blur of motion, he slammed her back into the wall. His eyes were wild. Elena wasn't even sure that he knew who she was. She screamed again as Stefan sank his teeth into her shoulder. She yelled and shoved at his shoulders, but it was no use. She started running her hands over his back, his sides, through his hair, trying to calm him down. Over and over she repeated, "You have to stop, its me. It's Elena."

As she began getting dizzy, she pressed her body to his, "Please, Stefan, its me. Come on," her tone was desperate. She ran her hands over his sides to his belly. In the process, her wrist brushed the tip of his member and she jerked her hand up as Stefan abruptly pulled his head back. His eyes locked with Elena's. Suddenly, he picked her up and forced her legs around his waist. The next instant her shirt and bra were gone and he was burying his face in her chest, his hands running over every inch of her body that he could reach.

Elena was dizzy and having trouble figuring out what the hell was happening. "Stefan, you have to stop. What is wrong with you?" Her voice rose, both in volume and in pitch as panic took over. The fact that she didn't panic before this was simply a testament to how used to all the supernatural bullshit she was. But this situation was fast moving beyond her realm of experience.

Stefan growled and spun around, setting Elena on an end table and stripping off her jeans before she could even blink. His mouth crashed down on hers and she could taste her own blood on his tongue.

Stefan's hands slid beneath her butt and lifted her a few inches.

It was at that moment that Elena realized Stefan had removed her underwear at some point. Elena screamed bloody murder as her head began to spin and dark spots started floating through her vision. It was then that she quit thinking all together and began reacting on pure instinct, screaming, thrashing, digging her nails into Stefan's shoulders, and kicking her feet at any part of him she could reach. None of it seemed to phase Stefan at all, but when she sunk her teeth into Stefan's shoulder, it seemed to startle him and he moved back slightly. She took the opportunity to ram her knee into his groin.

She scrambled off the table and screamed, "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

His eyes widened and for the first time since she had arrived, his vampire features faded away. "Elena?" he sounded bewildered.

Elena snatched a blanket off the back of one of the chairs and wrapped it around herself, her fingers shaking. She drew strength from the anger running hot through her veins. "Since when are you drinking from humans again?" her voice still sounded shrill, "What are you thinking?!"

"I... I can't drink anything else. It's... impossible," he said, his voice strained. He'd spent the first week after the ritual in a hotel at the edge of town. He would have rather left town, but he can't until Klaus gives the go ahead. He never should have come back to the boarding house.

"You can't? What do you mean you _can't_?" Elena responded incredulously.

"You remember how Vicky couldn't remember who attacked her? And Caroline couldn't tell you what was going on with Damon?" his eyes were pleading with her to understand.

"Yeah, they were... wait, you have been compelled? Are you for freakin' serious?"

"I can't answer that," Stefan said.

"Of course not. So you're compelled by... let me guess, Klaus? And you can't drink anything but human blood and you can't give me any details. Same old, same old. It really never ends." By this point, she was more talking to herself than to anyone else. The anger had drained out of her, leaving a numb feeling in its wake.

"Elena..." Stefan took a step towards her and Elena flinched, staring at him for a moment before quickly averting her gaze again. "Could you," she gestured to the blanket wrapped around herself and then at him.

"Oh. Yeah.." He quickly retrieved another blanket and wrapped it around his hips. "Sorry."

Elena's mind was spinning. Every time she thought she had been through it all, something new came along. She was used to enemies attacking but to have Stefan turn on her. She couldn't quite wrap her mind around it, couldn't even try to figure out how the last few nightmarish minutes had even happened. It was like she was an outsider looking in at herself, shaking her head at the poor, broken girl standing wrapped in a blanket and covered in her own blood with dead women and a stand with an empty glass of bourbon as a backdrop.

Elena felt a hand on her elbow and jerked back. She had been so naïve. Stefan had turned on her in 1864 and now- well, Klaus hadn't compelled Stefan to attack her, only to drink human blood. Stefan's complete lack of control, the animal he became at the taste- that was his own failing. But, a little voice in the back of her head argued, there is a reason he keeps himself on an animal diet. He tries. Elena shook her head. There was no point in trying to make sense of her scattered thoughts just then. She'd sort them out when the shock wore off, when she had escaped this house, the memories, the demented ex, the ghost of his brother, the broken bodies of the women. And also after she had taken three showers, gotten dressed, drank herself into oblivion, and worked her way through her hangover. In that exact order.

She stood up. "What are you going to do, Stefan? You can't stay here, killing people."

"I'm going to leave town soon. I have to find another way to kill Klaus"

"Oh well, as long as you are in another town, killing someone else's family members, then that's just peachy," she knew she didn't sound at all like herself. She was not the kind of person to be sarcastic and unnecessarily cruel but as the bone-deep exhaustion sank in, she found that she really didn't care.

Stefan grimaced, "It's not ideal, I know, but someone has to stop him."

"What can I do?" More than anything, she wanted the Klaus nightmare to be behind her.

"The best thing you can do is just lay low. Klaus thinks you are dead. We need him to keep thinking that." Stefan's voice was fervent, "Do you understand? He cannot find out you are alive."

"Yeah." When he continued to stare at her intently, she nodded,"Yes, Stefan, I understand."

As she turned around to look for her clothes a thought occurred to her and she whipped back around. Looking intently into Stefan's eyes, she asked, "Stefan, where is Damon?"

Stefan's mind raced. He didn't want to get her hopes up. If he let on that Damon might still be alive, best case scenario she spends time searching, worrying that something bad might have happened, and possibly attracting Klaus' attention; worst case scenario, she does all that only to find out Katherine had let Damon die. But he also didn't want to lie to her. So he stalled while he tried to come up with a good answer. "What do you mean?"

"You said he was dead, but where is his body?"

"Katherine is the only one that knows. She was with him... in the end. I plan to track her down as soon as possible. She covers her tracks well, but I promise you that I will find her. And I will bring Damon home." Dead or alive, he would bring his brother home.

Elena nodded, swallowing hard.

"I'm sorry, Elena," Stefan said. He wished he could take the pain away, but he didn't have any real answers to give. He couldn't tell her that Damon was fine and coming home and he knew that's what she wanted to hear.

Elena nodded again and forced words past the lump in her throat. "It's okay. Not your fault. I should get home. Could I, um, borrow a shirt? At that moment, the girl on the coach stirred. Elena had thought she was dead and had steadfastly avoided looking at her bloody, naked form, but now she turned towards her. "You should help her, Stefan."

Stefan nodded and hurried over. Biting his wrist, he forced some of his blood down he girls throat. Then he compelled her, "You will get dressed and then will be driven home. You will remember going out to a bar, getting really drunk, going home with a guy who you had fun with, and being taken home in a taxi. You will not be concerned about the bites, you will keep them hidden, and you will tell no one about them."

He looked up at Elena. "I'll get you that shirt and then can you take her home?" his eyes pleaded with her and she knew he was afraid he'd kill the girl if Elena left her with him.

Elena nodded, "Of course." Then, while Stefan was upstairs, she climbed back into her jeans. Her underwear, shirt, and bra were completely ruined.

When Stefan came back, she took the shirt from him, turned away, and put it on. Then she picked her keys up off the floor. "So when are you planning to leave?"

At that moment, Stefan's phone rang. He retrieved it off one of the end tables._Klaus._

"Excuse me a moment. It's someone I called that may know where Katherine is." He quickly stepped out of the room.

Elena frowned. He was acting very strangely. Then she snorted. Of course he was. Considering. She started towards the hall, trying to listen to his conversation, but the girl chose that moment to start talking. "So is my taxi on its way?" she asked.

"Yes, it is," Elena answered.

Stefan came back in. "I might have a lead. I'm actually going to go pick up some stuff and then I'll be gone." He wrote something down on a piece of paper. "If, for whatever reason, you can't get a hold of me on my cell, leave a message at this number. It might take a few days, but I'll get it. Let me know if you find anything out about a way to kill Klaus. But make sure you don't attract attention."

Elena stared at him suspiciously, "Why wouldn't you have your phone?"

"Carrying something around with a GPS signal isn't always the best idea when trying to lay low. Most supernatural beings don't even think of using human means of tracking, but I can't be too careful." In reality, he just didn't want Klaus to hear him talking to a supposedly dead Elena.

She was still suspicious, bu she nodded. Maybe she was just being paranoid. Not that she didn't have every right to be. The biggest problem she had with compulsion was that it made it impossible to know what was real.

"I do love you, Elena. And I am more sorry than I could ever express."

"I know, Stefan. You just have to learn how to stop. You have to want it enough. You need to find something that's more important than the bloodlust, something you can think about to distract yourself, to remind yourself why you have to stop before they're dead. Because until we can stop Klaus..."

"I know, Elena, I know. And I will try." He raised one hand and brushed his fingers across her cheek. When she flinched away from his touch, he grimaced and dropped his hand. "Just take care of yourself."

She nodded. "You too." She really just wanted to be as far from him as possible, a feeling that was foreign to her. Just a few months ago, she wanted nothing more than to be as close to him as possible.

"Stay low. It's the best thing you can do to keep everyone safe. I'll be back with answers as soon as I can." With that he left the room.

Elena keenly felt the loss of him. Not his presence, but the Stefan she knew. In the last few weeks, something had broken in both herself and in Stefan and she wasn't sure they would ever be completely whole again. One thing she knew for sure was that Stefan and Elena, the couple, was over. It would never be the same. She wasn't even entirely sure when that had happened, but it had. She shook her head. "Come on. Your taxi is here," Elena told the girl and helped her to her feet. As she closed the door to the boarding house behind her there was a sense of finality to it. The house held a lot of memories for her. It had been a lot of things for all of them over the last year. A safe haven, headquarters, Damon's lair, a place for stolen moments of peace with Stefan. Now it just felt empty. The world had moved on. Taking a deep breath, she stepped off the porch and left it all behind.


	14. Ch 14 Please don't ask

**I want to thank everyone that has stuck with me throughout this story, despite my erratic posting habits.**

"Yeah, uh, my house... make a, uh, make a left up here and my house is on the, the right 'bout 2 miles down. Maybe 3 miles, I donno. God, I'm so messed up right now."

The girl's voice was grating on Elena's nerves, which were already at the breaking point. She couldn't wait to get home, take a long, hot shower, curl up in bed, and try to put the entire God awful night behind her.

"I'm gonna have such a hangover to-tomorrow. But ya know what, I, it was totally worth it. God, that guy's house back there? Isn't it gorgeous? Yeah, and that guy is like amazing. I donno how but I swear his hands move so freakin fast, its like magic or something, they're everywhere at once. Oh, my God. I am so sorry. Here I am ramblin on, girl shouldn't kiss and tell. And if you were at the house you must know him. This is so embar-embarassing. I promise I don't usually get, you know, get this...," the girls voice cut off on a shriek as Elena slammed on her brakes in the middle of the road.

She couldn't take it anymore. Was this girl seriously rambling on about how great Stefan was in bed? And obviously the girl was wrong in her assumption- Elena didn't know him at all because she never would have thought he would... her mind once again shied away from the word. Suddenly, loud music filled the car and Elena jumped. It took her a second to realize it was her ring-tone. Turning to reach into the backseat, she fumbled around, trying to get to her purse. Her hands were shaking, her heart was racing, there was a faint roaring sound in her ears, and her mind was speeding along at a mile a minute. She finally managed to get her purse into her lap just as the phone quit ringing. Elena reached into her purse and finally managed to pull out her phone. She struggled to get her fingers to function, failing twice to properly key in the code to unlock her phone. Then the phone came to life in her hand, ringing loudly and the screen lighting up with "Caroline" in big letters on the screen. She almost dropped it, then managed to swipe her finger across the screen to answer.

"Elena?" Caroline sounded panicked. "Elena, are you there?"

"Yeah," Elena's voice was barely a whisper. She tried again, "Yeah, I'm here."

"Oh my God. I think you pocket dialed me earlier and all I got was a voicemail with a bunch of yelling and screaming. Are you okay?"

"Caroline, I need you to come get me and to not ask any questions. I can't handle questions. I don't want... I can't explain, okay? I just can't." She hated the panic in her voice, the desperation.

"Yeah, okay, no problem, just tell me where you are."

Elena gave her directions and then hung up the phone to wait, praying to God that the girl would just _shut up._

**. . .**

When Caroline finally arrived, she had already thought through a dozen different disasters that could have befallen her friend.

She rushed over to the car as Elena opened the driver side door. This caused Caroline to come to a sudden halt as the strong scent of blood poured out of the vehicle. Gingerly, she took the last few steps towards Elena. She swallowed her gasp before it could leave her mouth. Elena's neck and hands were covered in blood and under the blood on Elena's neck, Caroline could see deep purple bruises.

Elena turned away from her and walked around the car, opening the passenger door. "My friend is going to take us both home," she said to someone Caroline could not see. She heard someone step out of the car and the scent of blood became stronger. This time, she gasped aloud. The girl's neck and shirt were covered in blood and her arms were streaked with red and blotched with purple bruises. Even her hair, which was hanging limply around her pale face like a grotesque yellow halo, had blood in it. She was weaving as she walked and mumbling to herself. Honestly, Caroline was half expecting her to fall over dead at any moment. No one should look that bad and still be walking. She hurried over and helped the girl into the backseat of her car, grimacing as she did so. Her throat was burning from the smell of the blood and she was sure she would never get the scent out of her car seats, even if she could remove the stains.

. . .

It seemed like an eternity before she was stepping through her front door. She was going to sit in the shower and scrub until she felt clean again. Even if it took hours and the hot water ran out.

The hall light flicked on and Elena squinted against the sudden light. "Elena?"

Elena turned away from the stairs, trying to hide the blood. "Hey, Jer," she said, forcing a calm, warm tone. "I'm just gonna grab some water then I am heading up for a shower and bed. I'll see you in the morning, k?"

A few moments later, she heard him step into the kitchen and she winced. This was not going to be good.

"What's going on, Elena? Caroline called earlier, frantically asking if you were home. Two minutes later she called back and said never mind, she had found you, and it was a false alarm."

Elena slowly turned and Jeremy gasped, "What the hell, Elena? What happened?"

"It was just a mishap. Stefan was compelled by Klaus and has gone a bit crazy. He just left town though, so that is a problem for another day, okay? I really just want some sleep." With that, she tried to brush past him to head upstairs, but he grabbed her wrist.

Elena immediately hissed and felt her knees buckle from the pain.

Jeremy dropped her hand and she cradled it to her chest. "The only place you are going is the hospital to get that looked at," Jeremy told her.

"And how would I explain this, Jeremy?" she asked, reaching up with her good hand to tug her shirt to the side and show him the twin torn and bloody holes in her shoulder.

"Tell them you don't remember anything. It's not like they will be able to find out what happened. Or you can ask Caroline to come and she can compel everyone. You need to get checked out, Elena."

"Please, Jeremy, I just want to shower and sleep. I will make a doctors appointment in the morning."

And so the argument continued for a few minutes, until Jeremy told her that if she didn't let him drive her to the hospital, he would call for an ambulance.

As she walked out of her house to the car, she purposefully kept her mind blank, thinking of nothing. It was going to be a long night.

. . .

The next day, Elena stood in her bedroom, exhausted, holding a stack of photos and staring down at the one on the top of the stack. It was a picture of her back, the white tape wrapped around her two broken ribs in sharp contrast to the giant purple bruises covering every inch from her neck to her waist.

She set down the photos and her hand dropped to her stomach. They said that the baby appeared to be fine, although it was still too early to be able to see much of anything. Thank God for small blessings. She then ran her right hand over the wrist brace on her left. The wrist was badly sprained, but nothing had been broken, the doctors had said. Should be good as new in a few weeks.

If only she could be sure that the rest of her would recover as well as her wrist.


	15. Ch 15 Gettin out of this town

This chapter is almost twice as long as any chapter I have ever written (almost 4000 words) and it took forever, so I hope you really like it :) I have the story mapped out all the way through until after Damon comes back :D I'm so excited to bring him back into the story that I'm having trouble concentrating on the part of the story that comes before that, but I have attempted to do it justice. Anyway, enjoy!

The next afternoon when she woke up, Elena covered her head with a blanket to block out the sun and the world alike.

The trip to the hospital had been worse than she had thought it would be. As expected, they had wanted to know what had happened to her. She had stayed silent like Jeremy suggested, but that hadn't saved her. They'd called the police. The nurse said they had an obligation to report to the police when they believed the injuries they were treating were purposefully inflicted. Her story of a fall couldn't explain away bruises in the shape of fingers.

With that thought she hurriedly got up and rushed to get dressed. If she moved fast enough, maybe she could outrun the memories of the night before. Maybe she could forget the blood all over Stefan's face and... Not moving fast enough, obviously. Dressed in record time, especially considering the annoying brace, she all but ran out of her room and down the stairs.

Caroline and Jeremy were in the kitchen as Elena reached the bottom of the steps. Before she could run out the door, though, Caroline was there, with Jeremy close behind.

"Oh my G-" Caroline stopped herself short. "Elena, what-" she stopped again, reminding herself not to ask any questions.

"Where are you going?" Jeremy asked. "Be back soon, little brother. Promise to stay away from all vampires. Need some time alone." With that, she was out the door.

"Should we follow her?" Jeremy asked Caroline, clearly worried.

"No. No, she'll be fine. We can't follow her everywhere she goes. If she isn't back in a couple hours, we'll call her and check in."

Jeremy nodded. "Okay."

. . .

Elena made a mental note to thank Caroline for bringing her car back to her house. She walked in the Grill and walked straight up to the bar. Matt was there a few seconds later.

"What can I get you?"

"Double shot of Bourbon on the rocks, please."

Matt's eyebrows rose. "Its only four o'clock in the afternoon, Elena."

"So?" Elena shot back.

Matt shrugged. "Okay. Comin' right up."

As soon as he set it down in front of her, Elena slammed it back. It burned a fiery path to her stomach, which was just what she wanted. As she opened her mouth to order another one, she froze. Her hand came up to her stomach. She had forgotten about the baby. What kind of person forgets they're pregnant? She felt like a bucket of cold water had been dumped over her head. She couldn't believe that she possibly could. She couldn't even form coherent thoughts. She quickly dug money out of her purse and threw it on the bar.

"Elena?" Matt questioned as she stood up. "What's wrong?"

"Uh... um, nothing. I just... I remembered that I have somewhere I'm supposed to be. Thanks for the drink." As she left the bar, her thoughts were swirling so fast she couldn't think straight. She was almost to the car when she suddenly ran into something rock hard. She would have fallen over if someone hadn't grabbed both of her arms. She winced at the pain elicited by the tight grip. Looking up, her mouth almost fell open as she registered the face that was barely a foot away from hers. The hands released her and she stepped back, her eyes narrowing. "What the hell are you doing here?"

The vampire put his hands up in a gesture of surrender. "I most sincerely apologize, Elena. But, if there is even a chance that my family is actually safe, hidden somewhere... He left orders that if he died, they were to be thrown into the ocean. I simply could not risk it."

Elena held her angry stance for a moment longer, and then the fight left her. She just didn't have the energy to be angry. She didn't have the energy to feel anything. She simply felt numb. She sighed, "I understand. Now if you'll forgive me, I just want to go home and sleep."

"Are you alright?"

"Eventually. I hope."

. . .

It had been three weeks since that awful night and Elena still felt like she was fighting to make it through each and every day. She fought not to think about Stefan. She struggled to not think about Damon, not to think about 1864, not to worry about everything that could go wrong with the baby, not to worry about Klaus coming back, not to fail out of high school, not to wonder what she was going to do when she graduated. The list went on for what seemed like forever. And hanging over all of it was the other shoe that she kept expecting to drop. No one's life had been threatened in over two months, but this kind of peace never lasted in Mystic Falls. Something was bound to go wrong eventually. She tried her best not to think about that either. Tonight, she was going to go and try not to think at all. She'd heard a couple of her classmates at the Grill talking about a bar that does a karaoke night on Thursday nights. The bar was one town over from Mystic Falls, so it would suit her just fine.

Caroline, Bonnie, and Jeremy had barely left her side in three weeks and she really just needed to get away from everyone. Her inability to drink alcohol really sucked, although she realized it was probably for the best. If it wasn't for the baby, she would be well on her way to being more of an alcoholic than Alaric. But hopefully listening to people butcher perfectly good songs would be a decent distraction.

She dressed in skinny jeans, knee high boots, and a top that clung to her waist and hips and plunged down into a deep V. She carefully applied her make-up. When she was done, you could barely tell she had put any on, but it very subtly accented her features. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and a small smile touched her lips. It was the perfect blend of sexy and classy, creating a look that would turn heads without being slutty. She wasn't really in the mood to turn heads, but she decided that if she was going to go out, she should at least look like someone planning to have a good time.

An hour later, she was sitting at the bar with a 7-Up in her hand, watching a guy sing what Elena was sure was the most horrible rendition of Elvis Presley's song Hound Dog ever sung.

"Can I buy you a drink?" Elena glanced over at the guy that had walked up to lean against the bar beside her.

"No, thanks."

"Do you want to dance?"

She didn't even glance at him this time. "No, thanks."

"Well, you're not going to have any fun that way."

This time Elena turned her head to glare at the annoying man. "Can't you take a hint?"

"I believe the lady would like you to leave her alone," came the smooth voice of Elijah from her other side.

The man leaning next to her raised his hands. "I didn't mean to bother the lady. Just wanted to make sure she was enjoying herself." He turned and bowed slightly to Elena. Straightening, he said, "I own this bar. If there is anything I can do for you, please let me know."

As the bar owner walked away, Elijah asked, "Is this seat taken?"

"Are you following me? Or just spending a lot of time in bars?"

"Maybe a little of both," Elijah replied with a small smile as he sat down next to her.

Elena turned back to the stage as another brave soul came up to sing. After a couple minutes, Elena burst out, "Ok, what? Why are you staring at me?"

"I apologize," he said as he continued to stare.

"You're still doing it."

"May I ask you a personal question?"

Elena glanced at him, then turned her eyes back to the stage and shrugged, "Sure."

"Who is the father?" Elena, who had been in the process of taking a sip of her drink, promptly choked.

"What?"

"I can hear two heartbeats," he responded.

Elena looked at him with eyes full of panic. "You can't say anything to anyone. If Klaus hears of this..." she trailed off, sure the result would be worse than anything she could come up with on the spot.

"Your secret is of course safe with me." Elena nodded and tried to relax, working on slowing her heartbeat. Too much excitement wasn't good for the baby and panicking was not going to make Elijah magically forget what he knew. She just had to hope to God that he kept his promise. Trusting an Original. Like that had ever turned out well for her in the past. She turned back to watch the stage.

From Elijah's perspective, her heartbeat had sped up until it was even faster than her baby's. He smiled as he listened to the two cadences, matching up briefly, then moving out of sync again as Elena's heartbeat slowed.

Elena was about to tell Elijah she was heading home when the bar owner caught her eye. He was leaning forward, talking to a girl. His hair was dark, a lock falling over his forehead as he spoke. Suddenly the girl turned and began moving toward the exit, the bar owner following her. That's when Elena noticed the glassy look in the girl's eyes and realized why the pair had caught her eye. How many times had she seen Damon lean forward just like that? The bar owner was definitely a vampire.

"Ah, you noticed did you?" Elijah asked.

"What?"

"The owner. You noticed he was a vampire."

"You spend enough time around 'em, you learn to pick up on the signs." Just then, a guy she recognized walked on stage. She was pretty sure he had been in her math class last year. Her eyebrows shot up when he began to sing. He was good. Really good, actually.

_"Last night I had a crazy dream. _

_A wish was granted just for me, it could be for anything _

_I didn't ask for money or a mansion in Malibu _

_I simply wished, for one more day with you" _

"Would that not be nice? To be able to have one more day with someone you've lost?" Elijah asked.

Jake continued to sing as Elena answered, "It'd be nice if it were possible. But it would be very bittersweet- you would only have the one day," Elena said.

_"But then again I know what it would do- leave me wishing still, for one more day with you._

_First thing I'd do, is pray for time to crawl,then I'd unplug the telephone and keep the TV off _

_I'd hold you every second, say a million I love you's._

_ That's what I'd do with one more day with you._"

The crowd cheered as Jake took a bow and left the stage. "At least for you it's possible," Elijah stated.

"What do you mean?"

"Compulsion can do many things," he said with a wry smile.

"But it would all be fake, so what would be the point?"

"I would love to see my mother's face again, so that I can memorize every detail the way I never did when she was alive because I did not think it important at the time. I am sure the memory is somewhere in my mind, but I have long since lost the ability to visualize her face. I would like to be able to go back and savor my sister's carefree laughter, a sound that has long since died away. These are things that would live on in my memory, things I could cherish, long after the day with them had ended."

Elena had trouble imagining Elijah as a child. It just seemed so unnatural, Elijah and Klaus, young, innocent, carefree. The things that 1000 years of existence could do to a person's psyche... It's amazing the whole Original family wasn't nuts by now, honestly.

"You are the one staring now, my dear."

Elena shook herself. "Sorry, I was just... 1000 years is a long time."

"Yes, it is," Elijah responded quietly.

"In history class, Stefan would answer questions and it was always so weird to think about the fact that he'd been there. He'd seen so many things that I can't even imagine. I mean, you saw the Crusades. You have seen so many facets of human history. The books you could write."

"You could write your own books, you know. Spend the next 1000 years as a historian or a poet."

Elena laughed. "My mother encouraged me to write, you know. Told me if I wanted to be a novelist, then I should be one." Her smile faded. "If she only knew that my diary would turn into a horror story. She would have packed up the family and run." After a moment of silence, Elena shook herself, set down her drink, and stood up. "I'd better be heading home."

Elijah had stood as soon as she did and now he gave her a small bow. "Have a very nice evening, Elena."

. . .

Over the next several days, Elena kept thinking back to her conversation with Elijah. What would she do with another day with her parents? With Damon? Her mind went from sentimental ideas to decidedly naughty ones. More than anything, though, she wanted to be able to talk to Damon about the baby, to tell him how sorry she was. She wanted to be able to spend time with him the way she never got to, memorize every feature the way she purposefully had never let herself. She would think about it at the oddest of times, like now, as she sat waiting to meet with her OBGYN.

"Elena Gilbert."

Elena stood and followed the nurse back. The nurse had her weigh herself and then checked her blood pressure and temperature. "All normal," she said with a smile. "The doctor will be in soon." So Elena sat back and thought some more. She was so wrapped up in her world that she almost jumped out of her skin when the doctor walked in.

"Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."

Elena sat up. "It's not a problem. I just spaced out there for a minute." She offered the doctor a small smile.

"I'm Dr. McKenna." She put her hand out and Elena shook it.

"It's very nice to meet you, Elena. Are you ready to get started?" Elena nodded, suddenly feeling nervous. She should have brought Caroline or Bonnie with her.

"Okay. Lay back and pull up your shirt." Elena complied and Dr. McKenna brought the ultrasound machine closer to her. "This is going to be a little cold," she warned Elena as she picked up the tube of gel. Elena nodded and the doctor spread the gel over her stomach and turned on the machine.

Elena looked up at the screen. "Is that...?"

"Yes," Dr. McKenna responded with a smile. "Meet your baby, Elena."

Suddenly, Elena was laughing. It seemed so crazy that after the last year of fear, running, blood, time travel, death, magic- here she was. No one she knew had been threatened in months. She was sitting in a doctor's office, a knocked up teenager with an absent father. That little tiny baby on the screen had no idea the world it'd been conceived in, it was innocent, brand new life amid all the death.

"Are you okay?" Dr. McKenna asked.

Elena realized that she must look like a maniac, laughing the way she was. "I'm sorry, I'm just. It's been such a crazy year." Her laughter turned to gasping sobs.

"Hey, hey," Dr. McKenna said. She set the ultrasound wand down and took Elena's hand. It's okay. It's all gonna be okay."

Elena tried to suppress the sobs, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"No, no, it's alright. Pregnancy hormones. Happens all the time."

Elena gave the doctor a small smile, even though tears were still coursing down her cheeks. "Could I... could I just have a moment?"

"Yeah, no problem. I have to go see about about the results of the tests we ran when you came in the other day."

Elena nodded and Dr. McKenna left.

. . .

Elena ran faster than she even knew her legs could carry her. What was she supposed to do? What was she going to do? How could... after everything, how could it have come to this? As she reached her car, she pulled frantically on the door handle before realizing she hadn't unlocked the doors. She fumbled in her purse, her hands shaking so badly it fell to the ground.

Finally she managed to get her keys and unlock the door. As she pulled it open, a nurse came running out of the building calling her name. She was in the car and pulling out of the space by the time the nurse reached her. She kept right on going, pulling out of the parking lot and driving down the road, not even caring where she was going.

She pounded the heel of her hand on the steering wheel. No! This was not how things were going to go! Absolutely not! She played out the scene from Dr. McKenna's office yesterday in her mind.

"Elena, we need to run a few more tests."

"What? What is it? Is something wrong with the baby?"

"There are some abnormalities."

"What... what kind of abnormalities?"

"We will set up some more tests for tomorrow. Once I have some more information, we can talk about where to go from here."

Elena pulled herself out of the memories and realized she had stopped in front of the karaoke bar. She looked up towards the sky through the windshield and yelled, "Why? What great wrong did I do?" Her parents, Jenna, Stefan, Damon- they were all gone. Now this. How much pain can a person be expected to withstand and still keep breathing?

A tap sounded on her window and she jumped, shrieking."We're not open yet, ma'am." It was the vampire bar owner.

Elena rolled down her window. "I... I know, I'm sorry. I don't even know what I'm doing here." Tears continued to fall down her face.

"Hey, hey. It can't be all that bad, can it?"

"Uh, I'm, ah, I'm okay."

"Yeah, right. Okay. I hear that girls like a shoulder to cry on, but I don't know you that well and I'm the only one around right now, so how bout I lend an ear instead?"

Reluctantly, Elena cracked a small smile. As she stared into the guy's face, she realized how sad it was that after receiving news that had shaken her to her core, she had run to the parking lot of a bar and the bar owner, who happened to be a vampire and whom she barely knew, was the one offering to listen to her woes. She was tired of thinking about the long list of disasters that had befallen her over the last several years. She was tired of being miserable.

She swiped the tears off her face with both hands and smiled. A wide, full smile. "You know what? You were right the first time we met. The way I'm going, I'm really not gonna have any fun. You wanna come have some fun with me?"

"Ma'am, no offense meant, but I don't think you're idea of fun is the same as mine."

"You don't know me. How do you know what I think is fun?"

He smiled. "If you want to have some good, slightly naughty fun dancing and drinking in my bar, I'm happy to oblige. But when I leave here to have some fun, my tastes run a bit darker, less gentleman-like."

"Makes sense, since you're a vampire and all. I'd say early nineteen hundreds by your manners and style of dress. So here in your bar, you play the gentleman you were raised to be, then when you leave you indulge your vampire side. That about right?" The shock on his face really was comical. Elena laughed, "Surprised, are you? Well," her smile disappeared, "I don't really know you and you don't know me and that state of affairs suits me just fine at the moment. Here is all you need to know- I have friends that are witches, werewolves, and vampires. A vampire hunter lives in my house and the guy you saw me with in your bar is a member of the Original vampire family. If all that doesn't scare you off then I propose we have a little fun this weekend. Maybe a bit of dark fun, even. I have three rules- one, you have to get me the hell out of Mystic Falls; two, don't mess with my memories, I have ways of finding out if you do (she didn't of course, but he didn't need to know that); three, you have to have me back by Sunday afternoon or they'll come looking for me and neither one of us will be happy if that happens. Other than that, anything goes. I just want to quit thinking, quit caring, and get the hell out of this God forsaken town."

The bar owner stared at her for a while longer and then a slow smile spread over his face. "I can help you with that, darlin'."

Hope you liked it. Damon will be back at the end of Chapter 16, so just a little longer! If you review, I'll send you the beginning of the next chapter. That way, I get feedback and you get something too :) Lots of love to my readers!


	16. Ch 16 Wish to be dead

This chapter is short, so I apologize. But I wanted to get a chapter up. I spent a lot of time with my family over break and then got started on my new semester in grad school. Plus, I have three stories going at once now. Working on the next chapter now, though. It'll be longer, promise :)

A few hours later, the bar owner, whose name was Zachariah, and Elena, who had introduced herself as Katherine so she could remain anonymous, pulled up and parked outside of a house in Washington DC. He turned to Elena. "While you are here, you will keep an open mind, worry less about everything, do whatever feels good in the moment, and have a good time," he compelled.

Elena nodded and Zachariah got out of the car. Coming around to Elena's door, he opened it and held out a hand to help her out. Taking it, she thanked him and stepped out on to the street.

. . .

The next day, Saturday, Caroline was sitting in the Grill. She checked her phone for what seemed like the tenth time. 9:10 pm. Elena was now 40 minutes late for their dinner plans and Caroline was becoming increasingly worried. She had already left two voice-mails. Once again, Caroline called Elena's phone.

"Hello." The voice was deep and slightly raspy.

"Who the hell is this?" Caroline questioned, her voice instantly taking on a tone that boded very bad things for the person on the other end of the line.

"Hey, hey. Let me start by saying that Katherine was a very willing partner in this whole trip." He didn't know who this Caroline person was, but she had called three times and Alexander was wary, remembering Zachariah's warning that if she wasn't back by Sunday people would come looking for her. Apparently they had started a bit early. He shuddered slightly. The last thing he wanted was an Original on his tail.

Katherine? Why would he think Elena was Katherine? Whatever the reason, she didn't want him to know who Elena really was. "What trip?" Caroline asked suspiciously.

"Katherine came to my friend's bar, very upset I might add, and he offered to lend an ear. Instead, she asked him to get her the hell out of Mystic Falls. She told me when she got her that she wanted to quit caring for a while and have some fun. She gave us three rules and said anything else was free game."

"What rules?"

"One, Zach was supposed to take her anywhere that wasn't Mystic Falls; two, we could compel her, but we weren't allowed to mess with her memory- I guess she wanted to be able to remember the weekend; three, we had to bring her back to Mystic Falls by Sunday afternoon."

He had to know Elena was human, because only Originals could compel vampires, but he still thought she was Katherine? What the hell? Out loud she said, "Son of a bitch. Where are you and why isn't Katherine answering her own phone?"

"Washington DC and she is sleeping. She partied with us for almost 24 hours and just passed out an hour ago."

"Who is 'us'? And what's the address?"

"243 Wisconsin Ave. And 'us' is some of my friends and their human companions. I run a house for vampires and humans that know about us and want to join in the fun."

"Son of a bitch," Caroline said again. "I'll be there as soon as I can to get her."

With that, she hung up and called Bonnie. "Hey, Car," Bonnie answered.

"We have a problem."

. . .

The drive took forever. Neither Bonnie nor Caroline spoke much. They were both too wrapped up in their own thoughts about what they might find when they reached Elena. They had thought she was getting better. Over the last week, she had seemed to be pulling out of the depression that she had been in since the night that she visited Stefan and came back with a sprained wrist and bruises all over. Just like before that night with Stefan she had seemed almost happy in a way she hadn't been since being told Damon had died. Just when it seemed like Elena would get her head above water and move on, something bad happened that sucked her back down.

They didn't know what had happened this time and, quite frankly, they weren't sure they wanted to know. But, of course, they would find out and help her move past whatever it is. And they prayed to God that it would be the last disaster for at least the next ten years. They had all earned a break.

Finally, they pulled up to 243 Wisconsin Ave. They looked at each other for a moment, bracing themselves for whatever happened next. Caroline called Elena's phone again. Alexander answered.

"I am assuming that is your car that just parked across the street?"

"Great deduction. Sherlock, is it?"

"Alexander, actually. Please, come in."

"If it's all the same to you, we would like you to just send Katherine out to us."

"Don't trust us?" His tone was laced with laughter. "I'm afraid that she drank a little too much and slept too little. I am having trouble waking her up. I can carry her out though, if you'd like."

"Fine." With that, she hung up on him again. "He is bringing her out to us," Caroline told Bonnie.

"I didn't expect this to be so easy," Bonnie responded. "It makes me nervous. Nothing is ever this easy with vampires and Elena."

A man emerged from the house, carrying Elena. "Hopefully this is the first," Caroline told Bonnie before climbing out of the car. As soon as the man carrying Elena got close, Caroline began walking towards him. She gently took Elena out of his arms and, walking backwards so that she never let him out of her sight, she moved back towards the car.

Alexander chuckled. "Paranoid much?"

"It's not paranoia when they're actually out to get you," Caroline retorted. "And considering the numerous bite marks on my friends neck, I'd say you're one of the ones out to get us."

"I simply gave Elena the fun she asked for. She was fully aware of what happens in the house before she even arrived." Caroline shuddered as she carefully placed Elena in the backseat of her car. There was simply no way that Elena knowingly went into that place, freely letting them feed on her. But a small voice in the back of her mind pointed out that Elena hadn't been herself in a long time. Shutting the car door, Caroline quickly banished the voice and snarled at the vampire, "If I ever catch you sniffing around her again, you're dead." As she climbed into her car, she heard Alexander respond, "Of course, little lady. But I can't promise your friend won't come sniffin' around me."

Caroline slammed her door, not willing to dignify that with a response. As they began to drive away, Elena stirred. Blearily looking up at Bonnie, who was turned around in her seat looking at her with concern, she mumbled, "Damn, I was kinda hoping they'd kill me." Then she slipped back into unconsciousness.

. . .

He sat on a balcony of his hotel room, gazing out at the pretty, white Italian shore. A woman came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his middle. She kissed the side of his neck and a small smile settled on his lips. He was turning towards her to get a proper kiss when his phone rang. "Let it go to voicemail, lover," the woman said silkily.

He pulled the phone out of his pocket, glancing at the caller ID as he did so. Leaning forward, he pressed a quick kiss to the woman's lips. "I have to get this, cara, but it won't take long. Then we can ignore the world for a few hours," he promised with a wicked smile. He then stepped out of her embrace and answered the call. "Hey Andy, what's up?"

"Your men just reported in to me. No Klaus. No suspicious activity."

"Good. And you? How are you?"

"Doing just fine. Got a hot story I'm following." He could hear the smile in her voice. He was glad she was happy. He was working so hard to be happy to.

"Good luck with it."

"Yeah, thanks. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay." With that, he hung up. For just a moment, he let his mind drift to a woman with dark hair, beautiful brown eyes, and a killer smile. He felt the familiar tightening in his chest the accompanied thoughts of her and quickly diverted his attention to the blonde woman sprawled naked on his bed.

"Come on, amore mio," she purred.

He smiled and moving to the bed, he forgot all about Mystic Falls. He wouldn't think of it again until tomorrow, when Andy called him back. Two minutes a day is all he allowed himself to think of his brothers' girl. The girl that had all but told him to get the hell out of town. The girl he loved more than anything else in the world.

If you review, I'll send you the beginning of the next chapter. Cause I like getting feedback and you can get something too :) Hope the new year is going well for everyone!


	17. Ch 17 Damaged but fighting

I know exactly where I want this story to go a couple of chapters from now, but in order to get there several things have to happen first. Unfortunately, I am so impatient to get to the Delena drama that I am having a hell of a time writing the bits that come before that. I think it will be plenty worth it, though, because the Delena angst will be as epic as I can get it.

"What the hell are we going to do with her?" Caroline demanded as she paced back and forth in Elena's living room.

"Do with her? We can't do anything with her. We just have to be there for her," Bonnie said.

"We've been doing that, all of us. And now this," Jeremy interjected. "What could she have been thinking?"

Caroline and Bonnie both shook their heads, as baffled as Jeremy.

A new voice joined the group and everyone's heads snapped up in surprise. "She's thinking that she has nothing to lose. She's thinking that she doesn't want to think, to feel but has no way to turn it all off. She's thinking that after everything that's happened in the last year and a half that she is tired. She needed time to just let it all go, to be responsible for nothing."

"How did you even get in here?" Bonnie demanded.

"I was invited in long ago," Elijah replied.

"Why are you here?" Jeremy asked, clearly wary.

"Elena called me. Told me the basics of what happened."

"What? She's awake?" Caroline exclaimed, moving toward the stairs.

Before she had even reached the hallway, Elena appeared. "Thank you for coming, Elijah."

Elijah executed a small bow, "Any time, Elena. Are you ready to go?"

"Go?" Bonnie, Jeremy, and Caroline exclaimed at the same time.

"Yes, go," Elena said. "I'll be back later."

"Elena do you really think its a good idea to go anywhere tonight?" Bonnie inquired gently.

"Yeah, sis, I mean, you've had a long weekend."

"You act like I was kidnapped and beaten," Elena said with a dark laugh. "That hasn't happened in a while, don't you remember?" Her friends shifted awkwardly and she took pity on them. "I'll be alright. I promise. I don't know what came over me this weekend, but I'll pull it together. So quit worrying about me." Somehow, running from away from all of her responsibilities, being someone completely different, making crazy decisions- it all had allowed her to step back and look at her life from a different perspective. Things that seemed important before no longer were and things that she hadn't made enough of a priority suddenly seemed vital. She had assessed herself, her values, who she should be as a person and rearranged it all without even realizing. She had gone into that house broken and woken up home again a new, stronger person. She didn't know how it happened, but it had and she was grateful.

"No, you weren't kidnapped and beaten. You willingly ran off and played the part of some vamp's blood whore. Then, you told Bonnie and I that you were disappointed we'd saved you- that you had hoped to die in that house. So forgive us if we don't think you are fit to be running around town with another notoriously dangerous vampire. A vampire who's brother, I might add, just killed you. Unless that is still your goal?" The words poured out of Caroline's mouth before she could stop them.

Bonnie and Jeremy stared at her in horror. Elijah's face remained carefully blank. Elena's eyebrows raised, but otherwise she made no indication that Caroline had said anything at all.

"I will see you all later," Elena said smoothly. "Elijah?" Elijah held out his arm for her in response. Elena took it and they calmly left the room.

. . .

"They basically told me an abortion followed by surgery was my only option. Going through with the pregnancy could very well kill me. Yeah, didn't take that well."

"An understatement, I believe."

Elena laughed. "Yeah, well. I was bound to snap and do something dumb eventually."

"What is your plan?"

"Do my best to get through the pregnancy. If it kills me, it kills me. If I make it to term, then I will make sure to consume vampire blood. That way, if I die during birth, I'll turn.

Elijah's eyebrows raised. "Why?"

"Why try to have the baby or why turn?" Elijah did not answer, he just gazed calmly into her eyes, waiting for her answer to his question. Elena sighed and took a sip of her coke. "I can't lose this baby. It would destroy me. It's all that's left of him. And I can't have the baby and then die, leaving both Jeremy and the baby alone. So, I'm going to go with my plan and hope for the best."

Elena turned around as a familiar voice came over the sound system. It was Jake. He really did have a nice voice.

...

Elena turned back toward the bar. Staring down into her drink, she really wished she could have some alcohol in it. Her hand settled on her stomach. She might not have done a great job thus far to protect her baby, but when she had woken up a few days ago after her weekend in DC she swore she would be the best mother-to-be ever.

"Dreams are even better than compulsion," Elijah told her.

"What?" Elena asked.

"To spend one more day with someone. Compulsion works but its rocky because to make a conscious person think that someone who is dead is with them is to make them believe the person isn't actually dead. But dreams, dreams can allow a person to see the person they want to see the way they remember them. The dream is steered by a vampire, but all of the details are provided by the dreamer."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you completely fell apart and ran away to Washington DC. Then you came back 2 days later saying you are well and whole. You have now decided you will turn to save yourself after having a baby that I doubt you are prepared to handle. You may feel like you have it together right now, you may think you have it all worked out. But I do not think you have found any actual lasting peace. I think you need all of the support you can get. Maybe seeing him, talking to him will help you find some answers."

Elena tilted her head towards him and their eyes locked. They sat that way for quite a while before she responded quietly, "Perhaps you are right. Goodness knows you have been around long enough to get good at reading people. But I don't know that I can handle it right now. To see him, touch him, talk to him, even in a dream, and then to wake up to a world that he isn't in? Maybe at the right moment it will help, but right now I need to focus on the future, on what is right in front of me."

Elijah nodded his head and said nothing. They spent the next few minutes in silence, then a man leaned against the bar next to her. "Hey. Elena, right?"

Elena smiled slightly when she saw who it was. "Yeah, and you're Jake."

"That I am. Nice to officially meet you," he said, extending his hand.

Elena shook it. "You are really rather good, you know."

"Yeah, so my manager says."

Her eyebrows rose, "Your manager?"

He shrugged, "Yeah, well, my mom says I should have the opportunity to make it big or something. She got a manager to represent me. Don't know how exactly, but I figured what could it hurt, right?"

Elena laughed. "Good luck with that."

Jake smiled, "Thanks. So do you sing?"

"Only in the shower."

"What a shame."

For a moment, her mind flashed back to a conversation she had with Damon in 1865.

_"Umm... I don't really sing when there are other people around." _

_"Well that is a shame because your voice is beautiful. Just like the rest of you, body and soul." _

She pulled herself to the present. "Why is that?"

"Because, I was hoping to drag you on stage with me. I think we'd look good together up there," he said with a wink.

She giggled, the sound surprising her. She hadn't done much giggling recently. "That's because I can make anything look good," she said with a wink in return. She figured that would be the kind of thing Damon would say and it made her smile even more.

"Oh, really? Then lets go pretty lady."

"Go?"

"Yeah, put your money where your mouth is. Come on. We're gonna sing something."

Elena opened her mouth to decline when Jake grabbed her hand and gently pulled her off the bar stool.

"Could be fun," he told her.

Elena hesitated, then nodded. "Okay. Why not?"

Once he pulled her up on stage, Jake asked, "Do you know Need You Now by Lady Antebellum?"

"Have I been living under a rock?" Elena responded, laughing.

"Okay then." Jake turned to talk to the guy running the music, then handed her a mike. The music started and Elena tapped her foot to the beat, her head nodding as the sound of the piano drifted through the bar.

She then began to sing, "Picture perfect memories, scattered all around the floor. Reaching for the phone cause I can't fight it anymore."

Jake's voice joined hers, "And I wonder if I ever cross your mind. For me it happens all the time."

"It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now. Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now. And I don't know how I can do without. I just need you now." Elena lowered her mike and watched Jake sing. The look on his face tugged on her heart. She could tell the words meant something to him- there was someone he was missing, just like she was. The words flowed over her,

"Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door. Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before." Jake turned to her, catching her eyes.

She raised her mike and sang with him, "And I wonder if I ever cross your mind. For me it happens all the time." Their voices rose slightly, infused with a passion that was riveting for the people watching. "It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now."

Jake stepped closer, "And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now."

Elena took another step forward until there was barely a foot of space separating them., "And I don't know how I can do without. I just need you now. Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all. I just need you now. Oh, baby, I need you now."

As their voices trailed off, applause began in the crowd. They stared at each other for a few more moments before turning and making a bow.

Elena quickly moved off stage and through the crowd. She was ready to leave. That had been intense, too intense for her to handle right now.

A woman with platinum hair stepped in front of her, causing her to stop. A moment later, Jake stepped up beside her. The woman turned to him, "Hey, Jake. That was dynamite."

"Elena, this is my manager, Sophie. Sophie, this is Elena, one of my classmates."

Elena held out her hand. She was suddenly very tired but she pasted a smile on her face anyway, "It's nice to meet you."

Sophie took her hand in her own and held it. "You two were amazing together," she gushed.

Elena gently tugged her hand back. "Thank you very much. It's kind of you."

"Jake plans to sing a few numbers at a music fest in Savannah here in a couple weeks. If you two want, you could do a duet there. It would be awesome."

"I'm sorry, I can't. I have too much on my plate. Besides, I don't really sing in public." The last thing she needed was any serious attention drawn to her. Plus, she would start showing soon. She had to decide what she was going to do. So far, no one knew except Bonnie, Bonnie's mom, Caroline, and Elijah.

"Well, at least think about it. It could be a great opportunity for you both!"

"Yeah, maybe. I need to go though. Gotta get home." She turned to Jake. "Thanks for dragging me up there, though. It really was a lot of fun."

Elijah appeared at her side with her coat. She smiled at him. "Thanks." Turning to Jake and Sophie, she told them good night. With that, her and Elijah left the bar.

On the way home, Elijah broached the subject all of her friends had been avoiding. "Do you wish to discuss your weekend's dark festivities?"

Elena had been lost in thoughts of her on stage debut and, surprised, turned her head sharply towards Elijah. "Why do you ask?"

"Consider me concerned. I've seen the underbelly of my... culture, enough times to know it can be very disturbed. You have been spending your time this week with me, avoiding your friends. I am assuming there is a connection. I thought perhaps you would wish to discuss what is bothering you."

"You know, I don't think I have heard you speak as much as you have today in the entire time I have known you," Elena said.

A wry smile settled on Elijah's face. "Often, less is more."

"Ah, see that is more like you. Look, I avoid my friends because they want to talk about it, except they don't want to know. So they stand around awkwardly. I like you for the fact that you are a man of few words and this week I simply did not wish to be alone. DC was... enlightening. By being a completely different person for a while, I managed to get a grip on who I have become and what my life is like now. As much as I wish for the simpler days before my parents died, they are never coming back. Wishing for them has gotten me no where. Wishing for those days is what led to push Damon aside for so long, it is why he died thinking I hated him. And I had never been able to understand his vampire side. But I am starting to. DC showed me the fun, carefree side of vampirism. Those vampires don't believe in killing humans or forcing them. They just let humans enjoy their darker wishes. The people I met in that house don't question everything they do, worry what it might mean about who they are. I want to learn. I want to like who I am, whoever that is, no apologies necessary. And with how crazy my life is, I damn well am going to take my enjoyment where I can find it. As long as no one gets hurt, who cares?" she stopped talking, surprised with herself. The things she had just said were one hundred percent true, but it wasn't something she had consciously thought about.

When Elijah didn't respond, she added, "What, were you hoping for gory details? Had crazy hot wild sex with a vampire, some biting was involved- didn't realize it could be intoxicating seeing as how I am used to excruciating pain followed by death, so that was a pleasant surprise. I'm sure Bonnie would have an apoplexy if I told her. I'm sure her imagination is bad enough."

Elijah laughed softly. "I promise, what you were providing was even more intoxicating for him."

Elena watched him curiously. Something about his tone was odd. She couldn't quite place it, but he was suddenly in a mood she had never seen him in before.

Elijah pulled up in front of her house. Getting out of the car, he walked around to the passenger side and opened her door for her.

She stepped out, "Is everything okay, Elijah?"

Elijah stood looking down at her, his face impassive. Elena was about to give up on him answering when he spoke. "It's... I was reminded of a conversation Katherine and I had, long ago. Nothing to worry about. Good night, Elena."

Elena watched him, concerned, for a few more moments before reluctantly nodding. "Alright. Thank you for putting up with me."

A small, rare smile crossed his lips. He executed a small bow, "Not at all a hardship, I assure you."

She turned, then stopped. Turning back to face him, she quickly reached out and hugged him, then stepped back, gave him a nod, and went into her house. After she got undressed and slipped into bed, she considered how odd the day had been. First Jake, then that odd moment with Elijah. She sighed. It had been a long year.

She'd have to spend some serious time thinking later, sorting her life out. But for now, she just wanted to sleep. Turning out the light, she settled down and soon was asleep.

. . .

I was standing in a meadow. Tilting my head up, I enjoyed the sun warming my face. A few moments later, two arms encircled my waist from behind and I squealed. Spinning within the embrace, I found myself face to face with Damon. Grinning, I admonished him, "You are late. Very late."

He smiled back.. "Well, my lady, I am very sorry. I got held up."

"A kiss will see everything forgiven," I told him, still grinning widely. I loved bantering with him. He brought his face a bare inch from mine and I felt my heartbeat speed up. His lips melded with mine and I quit thinking about anything else. His kisses were always exquisite. Every time we stood like this, I never wanted to leave. Damon drew back and I made a sound in protest.

Laughing, he picked me up and spun me in a circle. I giggled as he set me down and stepped back, tilting his face up to the sun as I had done just a few minutes before. I could never get over how perfect his features were. The sun lovingly caressed every slope and valley of his face and neck.

I tried to reach out to trace those same slopes and valleys but I couldn't get my arm to move. Movement behind Damon caught my eye and I screamed as I saw three wolves advancing towards us. But no sound came out of my mouth. I kept trying to reach out and touch him, to yell, anything to warn him, but I couldn't. He was blissfully unaware, eyes closed, head tipped back.

Suddenly, I was jerked awake. Jeremy was standing over me, shaking me. I struggled to figure out what was going on, stuck between the dream and reality. Distantly, I heard screams and after a few moments I realized they were coming from my own throat.

Alaric came running in, "What? What is it?"

I took a deep breath, then another. I tried desperately to calm my heart rate. I tucked my hands under my blankets to hide the fact that they were shaking like crazy. After taking one more deep breath, I felt calm enough to speak. "I'm fine. Just a bad dream. Just a really bad dream." Jeremy and Alaric stared at me skeptically.

"Really, guys," I said. "I'm fine now. Go back to sleep. Sorry for waking you."

After a few more moments of staring at me, Alaric nodded. "Okay. Okay, come on Jeremy. Let's go. Let's let her get back to sleep."

Jeremy nodded reluctantly. "Let me know if you need anything, k?" he told me.

"I will, Jer. Good night." With that, they left. I stared at the door for a few minutes as tears slid silently down my cheeks. Finally, exhausted, I lay back down. Mercifully, I fell asleep within minutes and did not dream for the rest of the night.

Drop me a line- I appreciate the feedback :) And in return, I'll send you the beginning of the next chapter.


	18. Ch 18 Love affairs

**This semester has been insane with internship, plus finding out my 10 year old sister needs heart surgery. I'm finally getting everything on track, though, and have found time to finish this chapter. I'm sorry it took so long, but it's one of my longest chapters, so hopefully it turns out to be worth the wait!**

The next week was the first week of my senior year of high school and it went by in a blur. Every time I fell asleep, I saw Damon and the dream ended the same way every time. Jeremy and Alaric were growing increasingly worried and I was growing increasingly exhausted as I avoided sleeping as much as possible.

By Thursday, I was falling asleep in class. I glanced up at the clock. It was almost lunchtime. I planned to go home and sleep. If I had a nightmare, at least no one would be around to notice. Reaching up, I played with the necklace Damon had given me in 1864. I had strung it on to a necklace that morning. It somehow made me feel closer to him, brought me a little bit of peace.

When the bell rang, I got up and moved toward the door. As I walked out of the classroom, Jake stepped in front of me.

"Hey. Am I going to see you again tonight?" he asked.

I stared at him, my brain fuzzy from lack of sleep. "I don't remember us "seeing each other" the first time, so how can I do it again?"

"At the bar?" he clarified, staring back at me quizzically.

"Oh. Oh. Umm... yeah, I guess." I could get some sleep while Jeremy and Alaric were gone, then leave and avoid their worried glances later in the evening.

Jake flashed me a smile. "Okay, cool."

**. . .**

_Damon and I walked side by side, my arm linked through his. In front of us was a gazebo. "This is the place where we first made love."_

"_Yes, it is," he answered. Taking my hand, he pulled me inside. "I was so afraid to scare you off."_

_I laughed. "Are you still afraid?"_

"_I don't know. Should I be?"_

_I stepped forward, sliding my hands over his chest. "No. Never again. I am yours. I will always love you. Truth is, I started to fall in love with you a long time ago. I was a coward then, easily frightened. But not now."_

_Damon leaned down and captured my lips with his and I thought that this must be what heaven was like. His fingertips gently traced my jaw before his hand slid into my hair. One hand cradled the back of my head while the other went to work on the buttons at the back of my dress._

_I moaned as the bodice loosened and Damon slid his hand inside, his thumb flicking across my nipple. The hand holding my head dropped to my hips and pulled me closer. I rocked into him as he slid his lips over mine again and again._

_Damon stepped away and I groaned in protest. He slipped off his jacket and laid it on the floor. Catching me to him, he gently lifted me and placed me on top of the coat. Lowering himself over me, he looked into my eyes. "Are you sure about this?" he asked, just like the first time we had done this._

"_Absolutely," I responded, before pulling his mouth back to mine._

I jerked awake, thankful my alarm had woken me before the dream could turn sour. Sighing, I dragged a hand through my hair as I got out of bed. It was time to start dinner.

Thousands of miles away, Damon also jerked awake, unnerved by the dream he had been having. Generally, when he dreamed of 1864, he dreamed of Katherine. He was sure, though, that this had been Elena. He glanced at the clock. One thirty am. Shaking his head, he went back to sleep.

**. . .**

Six hours later, I was walking into the bar dressed in skinny jeans, knee high boots, and a shimmery gold top. It was a little early, but after an hour of awkward conversation over dinner, I had been ready to pull my hair out. That would have only confirmed Jeremy's suspicions that I was going crazy.

Sitting down, I ordered a coke. A few minutes later, a woman sat down next to me. She was dressed like a biker chick and she was at least 50 years old. She ordered a Bourbon on the rocks. Turning to me, she smiled. "I saw you here last week. You sang, right?"

"Yeah, I kinda got dragged on stage."

"Beautiful voice you got there, you know." As she spoke, a man walked up and wrapped his arm around her waist. He was dressed as a biker just like she was and was probably pushing sixty. "Don't you think she's got a voice on her, Joe?"

The man nodded. "Sure does." He winked. "That's all Anna Marie talked about the whole way home last week. Although that coulda been cause she drank one too many Bourbons. She tends to chatter when she drinks."

Anna Marie smacked him in the chest as she laughed. "I wish I could say he's exaggeratin, but my husband has been by my side for over forty years and Lord knows he knows me better than I do." She smiled at Joe, who leaned down and kissed her hard. They both laughed.

It hurt to watch them. They were so happy, carefree, obviously in love after so long. I wanted that. I wanted it so bad it hurt. At moments like these, I wished I could've said yes. I wished I could've stayed in 1864, married Damon, became a vampire, went on adventures. Klaus would've never been after me because I wouldn't be a doppelganger. The line would die with me. My friends would've never had the trouble in their lives. Bonnie's grams would be alive, Vicki would be alive, Caroline would be human, Tyler would probably have never discovered his werewolf side. Everyone would be better off. My hand travelled to the ring nestled between my breasts, twisting it in my fingers.

Anna Marie, Joe, and I started talking about how much music has changed over the years. Jake walked up in the middle of the discussion.

"Anna Marie, Joe, " he acknowledged with a nod before turning to Elena. "How are you doing?"

"Alright. You?"

"Fine. Looking forward to singing with you. We are singing together, right?"

It really was impossible to turn him down when he was beaming that ridiculously charming smile. "Yeah, yeah, okay." I laughed and, impossible as it seemed, his grin got bigger.

"Cool." Glancing over her shoulder, he grimaced, "I'll be back in a minute. Sophie's here and if I don't head her off she'll be over here talking your ear off. She really liked our performance." With that, he walked away, towards the door where Sophie was talking to a couple of men in suits.

The older woman smiled knowingly. "You couldn't do better."

"What?"

"I've known that boy a long time. He's a keeper."

"Oh. Oh, no. We're not, I mean. I'm not with anyone."

She nodded knowingly. "What happened?"

I began to think that, when talking with this woman, I should expect to be confused often. "Happened?" I echoed.

"To the last guy. I thought the ring you're wearing mighta belonged to your momma, but now I'm thinkin' different. You have that look. You know, the one that screams heartbreak."

"Anna Marie!" her husband admonished.

"What? Don't tell me you didn't see the look!"

"Of course I did, but that doesn't mean she wants to talk about it."

A reluctant smile tipped up one corner of my mouth. "His name was Damon. He was... definitely a keeper. But he died."

"Oh, sweetheart. That's awful. I'm so sorry."

I nodded and picked up my drink, wishing for at least the tenth time that month that I could have alcohol. As I looked over the rim of the glass and spotted Jake animatedly trying to reign Sophie in, one corner of my mouth tipped up again. My heart ached a little less every time I said his name. I would make it through this. That's what he would have wanted.

"You know," Anna Marie ventured. "There are romances that burn bright and burn out. Then there are the one or two in a lifetime that are everything you ever needed. But there are also the ones that are easy, gentle. They have the power to heal. As long as both parties know where they stand from the start, they burn as long as they need to, then they fade away as gently as they came, both people happier for the journey."

I stared at her for a moment, surprised at the eloquence of the other woman's speech. I glanced at Jake before dropping my gaze to the glass in my hand. "You might just be right about that."

"When you have lived as long as me, you'll realize there aren't any mights or maybes. There are ares and aren'ts that people are too afraid to face."

I laughed, startling myself with the sound. "I could've really used that advice a year ago, let me tell you."

"Could've's'll get you nowhere, honey. Use the advice now."

I smiled at Anna Marie, then turned my attention back to Jake. He seemed upset. "Excuse me. I'm going to go see what's going on," I told the couple, standing as I tipped my head towards Jake and Sophie. They were standing with their heads together, whispering furiously.

Setting my glass down, I walked over. "Hey, Jake. Everything okay?"

Sophie's head immediately turned towards me. "Talk sense into him. Two men from a major recording label are here to listen to him sing and he says he won't perform."

"You should have warned me that they were coming. I have nothing prepared."

"What about that song you were singing in the parking lot after school yesterday? It sounded amazing," I interjected.

"It's not ready," Jake replied stubbornly.

"Nothing is ever completely ready is it? We'll all die waiting for the perfect moment that doesn't exist." Damon had died while I agonized over how to tell him everything had changed. With that thought, I strode towards the stage. Jumping up on it, I told the DJ running the karyoke what I wanted.

A few moments later, the opening notes to "When I'm Gone" by 3 Doors Down drifted through the bar. "Let's go, Jake," I called. "You wouldn't leave me up here alone, would you?" I asked with a smile. Then I began to sing, the truth of the words showing in the emotion I poured into them:

"_There's another world inside of me  
>That you may never see<br>There're secrets in this life  
>That I can't hide<br>Somewhere in this darkness  
>There's a light that I can't find<br>Maybe it's too far away...  
>Or maybe I'm just blind...<em>

Jake's voice joined mine as he jumped on stage. We sang the chorus together. When we got to the next verse, I stopped singing and marvelled as Jake's voice gained strength, his passion for the song showing on his face:

"_When your education X-Ray  
>Cannot see under my skin<br>I won't tell you a damn thing  
>That I could not tell my friends<br>Roaming through this darkness  
>I'm alive but I'm alone<br>Part of me is fighting this  
>But part of me is gone"<em>

I began singing with him again for the chorus, my thoughts once again on Damon.

"_Everything I am  
>And everything in me<br>Wants to be the one  
>You wanted me to be<br>I'll never let you down  
>Even if I could<br>I'd give up everything  
>If only for your good<br>So hold me when I'm here  
>Right me when I'm wrong<br>You can hold me when I'm scared  
>You won't always be there<br>So love me when I'm gone_

_Love me when I'm goneLove me when I'm gone  
>When I'm Gone<br>When I'm Gone  
>When I'm Gone"<em>

As the last notes faded, Jake and I held each other's gazes. I didn't know what had happened to him, but there had obviously been something. In both songs we had sang, I could sense the pain rolling through him as he sang. Maybe he found the music as cathartic as I did. Jake took my hand and turned us both towards the crowd on the dance floor. We took a bow and then hurried off the stage.

Sophie rushed up to them. "That was wonderful. Perfect." The two men in suits I had seen talking with the manager earlier joined the group. "Gentlemen," Sophie said. "I told you he was good at what he does."

"What you didn't mention is how good she is at what she does," one of the men responded.

The other man turned to me. "Would you be interested in coming to our studio to record a demo? We can team you up with a great song writer."

I stared at him in shock for a moment before shaking myself. "Are you serious? You just saw me sing one song in a karyoke bar."

"Quite frankly, you're beautiful, you have passion for what you sing, and your voice is superb. It's just a demo, not a contract."

I turned to look at Jake, whose face showed no emotion whatsoever. Which of course told me he was not at all happy. In that instant, I made a decision and I refused to think about all the ways it could be a bad idea. Thinking things to death is what always got me in trouble, made me paralyzed, unable to make any decisions. "Fine. I'll make a demo. But on one condition. Jake is an excellent song writer. I won't work with anyone but him."

The two men looked at each other a moment, then one of them nodded. "Done."

"Okay then." I offered my hand to each of them to be shaken. They then turned to Jake. "We look forward to seeing your skills, young man."

"Ah, thank you. Thank you very much, sir," Jake said, his face still blank. Everyone shook hands and the men walked away.

Sophie smiled. "Okay, well, not the way I expected things to go, but still. Congratulations to both of you. You've gotten your foot in the door, which is the hardest part."

"Ok, yeah, thanks Sophie. I'm gonna head out though. I have an exam tomorrow." Jake's smile was bland.

"I'll head out with you," I told him, concern filling my face.

"No need. I'll see you tomorrow in class." With that, he turned and walked away. I headed over to the bar where my coat was still draped over the back of the bar stool.

"You make sure he's okay, you hear? He doesn't show it much, but he's been through a lot. He hurts. Just like you," Anna Marie told me.

My eyebrows drew together. "I thought he was upset because they offered me a demo and not him."

"It's not really my place, but his sister disappeared about a month ago. He hides it well, but she loved that song."

I grabbed my coat and purse before she finished speaking. "Thanks for telling me. It was nice to meet you." I quickly followed Jake out of the bar. I wasn't really sure what I was doing or why, I was just running on instinct. The pain on his face each time we sing together made her want to comfort him. Maybe because it was like looking in a mirror. "Jake!"

Jake turned as he opened his car door. "I'm really tired, Elena. I just want to go home."

"My fiance died." The look on Jake's face would have been comical in any other circumstance. In this case, though, I was too busy trying to figure out what the hell had compelled me to say that.

"You were engaged?"

"Uh. Sort of. He proposed. I didn't answer. Then he forgot- that's a long story. And before I had even figured out what to do, he died."

"How did you know I was a great song writer?"

"What?" The sudden shift of topic made me feel a bit off balance.

"In there, you said I was an excellent song writer and that you wouldn't work with anyone else. How did you even know I write songs?"

"English class. You were writing song lyrics. I read over your shoulder. They were good."

Jake nodded, but his mind was obviously elsewhere. "What happened with your sister?" I asked.

His eyebrows rose in surprise, but then his shoulders slumped. He looked so miserable, I frantically searched for anything I could say to make him feel better. Before I could think of anything, though, he turned away. "You wouldn't believe me even if I told you."

I walked around him so that I could face him. Laying my hand on his chest, I urged, "Try me." When he didn't say anything, I sighed, stepping back. "You might think I am crazy, but I believe in magic and ghosts and other crazy things, so there isn't anything you could tell me that would surprise me. Unless you're going to say aliens are invading."

"What would you say if I told you I believe in vampires?"

I stared at him for a moment before I burst out laughing. "I'm sorry," I gasped out. "I just," I tried to control the laughter. "No, wait," I called out as Jake walked away. Getting myself under control, I revealed, "He was a vampire."

Jake stopped and I continued, "The would-be fiance. He was a vampire. Died of a werewolf bite."

Jake spun around. "Are you serious?"

"Absolutely."

"My sister's a vampire. My parents just think she disappeared."

"Why did she leave?"

"She hasn't learned to control things yet and she's afraid to hurt them. I only know because I caught her leaving the house, bag packed. I tried to stop her and she attacked. She apologized later. She's trying, she is, she just," I placed a finger over his mouth. "You don't need to defend her to me, Jake."

Jake fell silent, watching me. Our faces were only about six inches apart. "How is it that five minutes ago I felt like there was no one in the world that could possibly understand what my life is like and now, I feel like I've found a life line that can hold me up as the ship sinks?" he whispered.

I shook my head. "I can't be your life line. I am barely floating myself."

"Then why don't we just work on keeping each other afloat?" he answered as he leaned down and kissed me.

For just a moment, it felt like time stood still, but then I jerked back, my hand flying to the ring hanging around my neck.

"I'm sorry," Jake said quickly.

"Don't. Don't apologize. I just, I'm not there yet. You know, Anna Marie was talking about romances that are made to be epic love affairs and the more easy-going type. I can't handle any epic love affairs. But the other kind- I might be able to handle the other kind, I don't know. Just not right this second." I paused, trying to gather my scattered thoughts. "I'm not even making any sense, am I?"

"Actually, you're making a lot of sense. Anna Marie has some interesting views on life. We actually talked about this once. As long as no one wants more than the other can give, it can be nice to have someone to kiss and hold. Friends try to comfort you, but sometimes it's just not enough."

I have no idea why the hell I am having this conversation. This is crazy. My gaze dropped to his mouth, but I quickly shifted my attention back to his eyes. "I'm still too in love with Damon to even think of loving someone else. I'm just lonely, you know? My friends try, but they just," I let my voice trail off. I fished my keys out of my purse. "I need to get home. I'll see you in class tomorrow, okay?"

Jake pulled me into a hug. I stood stiff for a moment, then I tucked myself closer to his body, letting his arms pull tight and shut out the world, just for a minute. Too soon, he pulled back. "Drive safe."

I nodded and, turning away, I walked to my car.


	19. Ch 19 Shared dreams, shared pain

I am long past due for a chapter, so here it is even though it's short. This time next week I'll be in Malaga, Spain so I'm not sure when I'll get a chapter up, but I'm definitely not giving up on the story so please, bear with me.

The next few weeks passed quickly. Jake and I spent practically every waking minute together. We studied together, worked on a major English project, recorded a demo, and watched lots of movies. I slept less than five hours a night, meaning I was blessedly too tired to dream. In study hall, I worked on writing my own song lyrics.

I had just finished my appointment with my obstetrician and was getting in the car when I got a call from a blocked number. "Hello?"

"Elena. I can't talk long. Klaus has figured it out."

"Stefan?"

"Klaus knows you are alive. I don't know what he is planning next- we aren't even in the country right now. But Elena? He can't make hybrids without your blood. It is only a matter of time before he comes looking for you." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Have to go. I'll call back when I know more. Be careful."

My hands went over my belly as I fought down panic. If Klaus needed doppelganger blood to make hybrids, he would have a vested interest in my child. That alone was enough to make my blood turn to ice. I refused to consider what it would mean for my life, being Klaus' only blood supply for hybrids. One crisis at a time.

My mind whirled as I headed to Elijah's house, considering all my options. By the time I arrived, I realized what I had to do to give my baby the best chance it could get. I had to send her as far away as possible and have all knowledge of her erased from people's minds. Klaus chase Katherine for five hundred years. If he got even a hint that the doppelganger bloodline had continued, my baby wouldn't have a chance. Elijah, as the only friend I have not susceptible to compulsion by Klaus, was the only one I could trust to help.

I explained what was happening to Elijah and we made plans. For now, I was carrying so small my pregnancy wasn't noticeable as long as I didn't wear tight clothes. My doctor said occasionally a woman would go through her whole pregnancy with barely any weight gain or baby bump and I prayed that would be the case. Even though I should have only been about five months along, my doctor said, by the baby's growth, I appeared to be about seven months pregnant. I was having a baby girl and I was due November 1st. If the pregnancy became noticeable or if Klaus came to town before the baby was born, Elijah and I would leave town for a while. And after the baby was born... well, Elijah promised he would find a good home for her. And I silently promised her that I would come back for her, no matter what it took.

I was getting up to leave when the meaning of all of this finally sank in. I was having a baby girl. Damon's baby girl. And to keep her safe I had to give her up. Could I let someone take the last piece of him I had? What would Damon say if he was here? What would he want her name to be? Would he be happy to have a child?

"What you were talking about, guiding my dream, can you do that? Help me see Damon, talk to him? I have so many questions, things that parents expecting a child discuss, things I don't want to talk to other people about. I just..."

"Yes, I can help you control your own dream, let you talk to him."

"And you can keep it from becoming a nightmare?"

Elijah gave me a concerned look but didn't ask me to explain, for which I was grateful. "Yes, I can make sure it does not become unpleasant."

I shifted from foot to for, considering. "Okay, how would this work?"

Elijah instructed me to lie down on the couch. He sat at the very end and pulled my head into his lap, surprising me. "It's easier if I can touch you," he explained. He told me to close my eyes. I lay there, thinking how awkward this was. It seemed like only a few moments later, I was standing in the garden where Damon proposed.

"Elena?" I whirled around to find Damon striding towards me. I smiled. In this time, he was still whole and hale. I stepped into his arms, holding him tight. After a minute, he pulled back a little and looked down into my eyes. Bringing my hands up, I cradled his face between my palms. He covered my left hand with his. A crease appeared between his brows as he brought my hand between us. His fingers lightly ran over the ring.

"Have you changed your mind?" I stared at him, uncomprehending. "About marrying me? You are wearing my ring." Hope lit his eyes, but I could see the wariness in them as well.

I hesitated. Then I realized that it didn't matter if I lied. All that mattered was making him happy in this moment. I smiled. "Nothing would make me happier than to marry you." A completely honest statement. His smile outshone the sun as he picked me up and twirled me around. I laughed, delighted. He set me down. He whispered, "A kiss to seal the deal," before capturing my lips with his own. The kiss was gentle, sweet, perfect.

The baby choose that moment to kick. Damon jumped backward, startled as his eyes flew to my stomach. I licked my lips, nervous. "I... we." I took a deep breath and tried again. "Wearehavingababy," I said, as fast as I could manage. He stared at me for a moment and I wondered if he understood me. Then his face broke out into a grin. Grabbing my hands, he pulled me toward him. "It's a girl," I told him.

"How do you know?"

It would take too long to explain technology to him. "I just do. Trust me."

"Always," he responded and my heart jumped. "So what do you want to name her?"

"I was thinking Annabelle."

"My mother's name was Anne. Anne Marie Salvatore."

I nodded. "I know."

"It's a beautiful name. Annabelle." He rested his hand on my stomach. "My Belle."

I smiled. "I love you."

...

Thousands of miles away, Damon got off of the phone with Andy and crawled into bed. He was thinking of Elena, like he always did after talking to Andy. He hadn't dreamed of her in a couple of weeks though, not since the gazebo. Within a few minutes, he had dropped off to sleep.

He found himself standing in a garden. After a moment he realized it was the garden behind the house he had grown up in. Elena was in his arms.

She smiled. "I love you."

...

My eyes widened. I hadn't meant to say that. Not that I didn't mean it.

Damon pulled back. "I'm sorry," I rushed to say. "I didn't mean to blurt it out like that." I could see him retreating behind his defenses. It was all there, in his eyes. It was like 1864 Damon was gone and cynical, guarded Damon was back.

"Let's cut the crap, shall we? What do you want?"

I took a step back, surprised by his words and the biting tone. He'd been so loving just moments before. Then my chin came up. "I will keep telling you I love you until you believe me. Know matter how long it takes. I. Love. You." I punctuated each word with a tap on his chest.

Confusion and wariness swirled in his eyes and it made my chest hurt. Since Damon had died, I had thought of a thousand things I wished I could say. Sappy things, angry things, and apologetic things. Now he was here. "You know why I avoided admitting it for so long? I have loved people before in a soft, romantic, safe kind of way. But with you? I knew that if let myself love you, it would consume me. It would be the kind of love that would capture me heart, body, and soul and if I lost you it would destroy me. There would be nothing left. To trust you enough to give you everything and hope you don't leave me broken- do you know how hard that is?"

He laughed, the sound harsh. "Do you know how many times I have given people everything and gotten nothing in return? How many times I've been left broken? Never again. I don't want your love. Not anymore. I won't live wondering when you'll take it back, when you'll find something better."

Tears were flowing freely down my face when the dream began to get blurry, fading away. I woke up with a jerk, my face wet. I quickly sat up. "You said it wouldn't become a nightmare," I stared at him accusingly.

"You have my most sincere apologies. I do not know what went awry. Control of the dream was taken from me. I do not know how."

"At first, it was like I was back it 1864. It was like I'd never left. But then, he changed. I was back to dealing with angry, world-weary Damon. It was like he was really there, scathing tone and all." I sat staring into the fire for a few moments before I shook myself. "I should go." Standing, I picked up my purse and walked towards the door. Stopping, I turned back to Elijah. "If you could only pick one person to spend another day with, who would it be?"

As Elijah looked into my eyes from across the room, I felt as though he could see all the way to my soul. At the same time, I got the feeling that he wasn't seeing me at all. "Katerina. As a human."

I nodded. "I...thank you for doing this. Regardless of how it ended, I appreciate it. It was good to hold him, to commit to memory how amazing it feels." With that, I left.


	20. Ch 20 Too many clothes

I could hear screaming. After a few moments, I realized the sound was coming from my own throat. No one mentioned how much this would hurt. Having a baby at home to keep the birth a secret means no pain killers. "Son of a bitch," I swore as the contraction ended and I got my breath back.

"Its a girl, remember? And don't be so hard on yourself,'" Jake joked.

"Ha ha. You think you're so funny don't you?"

"Always," he responded with a grin.

"Yeah, well, you wouldn't be laughing so hard if you were me," I gritted as another contraction hit. I'd been in labor for fourteen hours already and the contractions were much closer together. I was rapidly becoming exhausted. Of course, these days, walking around a store for an hour was tiring.

As the pain eased, I looked over at Bonnie's mom who was working in the role of midwife. "When should I start pushing?"

She exchanged a glance with Jake. "The baby hasn't dropped enough. Hopefully soon."

An hour later, I was too tired to care about the pain. Jake grabbed my hand. "Elena?" His voice sounded like it was coming from a distance. "Elena?" I opened my eyes, taking a moment to focus on him. "She says it's time to push."

"Too tired," I mumbled.

There was a commotion by the door. I heard Caroline's voice. "What are you doing here?" Turning my head, I saw Elijah.

"I came to see how she was and to offer any assistance I can give."

"She's fine. You can go."

"Let him in," I whispered.

He stepped past Caroline, his forehead immediately creasing in worry. "Elena."

"I'm fine," I told him with a shaky smile before gasping in pain as another contraction tightened my stomach. When I fell limp against the pillow, I heard him ask how things were progressing.

"It's already been fifteen hours. It is time to push. She tired faster than I expected."

The next wave of pain washed over me and I tightened my hand around Jake's. "When the next contraction hits, you need to push. Okay?" I could barely hear him over the roaring in my ears.

Elijah stepped up to my other side. Gently grasping my chin in his hand, he turned my head until I was looking up into his eyes. Leaning toward me, he whispered something I could barely hear.

I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, I stared up, my mind hazy from exhaustion and pain, not understanding what I was seeing but too tired to question it. Slowly, I reached up and trailed my fingers down the side of his face. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too."

As I stared into Damon's familiar blue eyes, I said, "I hope she has your eyes."

"I am sure Annabelle will be beautiful, just like her mother."

Wrapping my hand around the back of his neck, I tugged his head down. Obligingly, he lowered his head and lightly brushed his lips over mine. "I love you," I whispered.

"And I you." Another pain started. "You have to push." Gripping my hand, he looked into my eyes and compelled me, "Push now."

Twenty minutes later, Annabelle's cry filled the air. I turned to Damon, smiling, only to find Elijah standing beside me. Understanding washed through me and I whispered, "Thank you."

Elijah gently pushed strands of hair from my face. "You are most welcome."

I watched as the women worked to clean the baby. They wrapped her in a blanket and were moving towards me when pain stole through my abdomen again and I cried out, my hands going to my belly.

"What is it?" Bonnie's mom asked.

"Pain," I gasped out.

"It's the after-birth," she responded, grabbing towels.

The room began to spin. "Dizzy." My eyes drifted closed. "And tired."

Distantly, I heard my name being called, but I just wanted sleep.

"Dammit, Elena, stay with me. Elena?" She swore.

Elijah immediately bit into his wrist and, tilting Elena's head back, pressed it to her mouth, forcing the blood into her mouth.

"What are you doing?" Caroline demanded to know, trying to drag his arm away. "Stop. She wouldn't want to risk changing!"

Elijah didn't move. "Elena is a mother now. That changes her priorities. We discussed this. She had been ill and she knew it could come to this. She decided she'd rather change than leave her brother and baby to bury her." He pulled his arm away and sat down beside the bed to wait.

A few minutes later, Bonnie's mom announced that she had done all that she could do. All that was left was to wait and see.

...

Elena was lying on a bed in a hotel room. She smoothed her hands over the bedspread. Lifting her head, she looked around and shrieked when she saw Damon sitting at the foot of the bed, watching her. Her hands flew to her chest as she tried to steady her breathing.

A nervous giggle escaped her lips. "Whew. You scared me."

He tilted his head a bit, studying her. "I'm just trying to figure out why this keeps happening."

"Why what keeps happening?"

"Me. Dreaming of you. I mean, not that I haven't before, but these are different."

"Different?"

"Yeah, for one thing, you are wearing way too many clothes." Elena and rolled her eyes. "But mainly, it's that these feel different. More real somehow. Like I'm really talking to you instead of just doing crazy naughty things with my fantasy version of you."

Elena watched him for a few moments then suddenly she was getting out of bed. Moving until she was standing directly in front of him, she pushed him backwards on the bed. Climbing back on the bed, she straddled his hips. Leaning down, she said, "How bout we skip the talking and just do the naughty things?" She brushed her lips over his at the same time that she ground her pelvis down into him, causing him to groan.

In the blink of an eye, Damon had flipped them over so that he was on top. "We can definitely do that," he said as he rocked hips, pulling a moan from her. Then he leaned down and took possession of her mouth.

**Shorter chapters are more manageable for me right now and allow me to update more often :-) I hope no one minds too much! Next one will be up as soon as possible and real life Damon will be making an appearance soon :-) **


	21. Ch 21 No dreams, only grief

Disclaimer- I own nothing created by TVD. If I did, Elena would not have tried to fix anything with Stefan after he returned with Klaus. On the bright side, the new season promises angsty Delena relationship drama :-)

The baby was beautiful from her tiny little hands to her perfect little feet. Elena kissed her smooth cheek one more time and then let her go. As Elijah walked out the door, Elena sank to the floor. She knew her baby would be safer with a different family, but that didn't stop the pain from spreading through her chest. As she wrapped her arms around herself, she promised herself that she would get rid of Klaus, no matter what it took. If she had to, she would kill him with her own bare hands and then she'd bring her baby home.

Hours later, she was still sitting on the floor, staring into a glass of bourbon, when her phone rang. Listlessly, she pulled it from her pocket, only bothering because of the possibility that it was Elijah. When she saw the name on the screen, she felt like the bottom dropped out of her stomach. With shaking fingers, she answered the call.

A few minutes later, she hurried out of Elijah's house and to her car. Everyone was meeting her at her house. They had talked about the possibility of having Elijah wipe their memories of Annabelle to protect her even further, but no one had wanted to take such a drastic step. Now though, it looked as though they didn't have any other choice. Elena took a moment to steady herself after she slid behind the wheel. Hearing Stefan's voice had caused several emotions at once to riot for dominance- pain, anger, fear, loneliness. But then she'd realized what he was saying and fear had won. Klaus knew she was alive. The fact that the doppelganger was alive was stopping him from making his hybrids. He was going to be coming for her. He couldn't find out about Annabelle. Elijah and Caroline were standing outside her house when she arrived.

"Thank you guys for coming. Who knows when the hell Klaus will show up."

Elijah exchanged a look with Caroline. She cleared her throat, "Um, Elena, we've been talking and, uh, you know, compulsion has it's limits."

Elena's forehead creased. "What do you mean?"

"When you compel someone to forget something, there's nothing to replace those memories. Everything just gets... fuzzy. Nine months of fuzziness would make anyone suspicious, especially our group. We'd ask a lot of questions 'cause we wouldn't even remember why we shouldn't. Klaus is paranoid. We give him something to be suspicious about, he'll start digging."

"So what do you suggest we do?"

They exchanged another look and dread settled into Elena's stomach. She wasn't going to like this.

...

Elijah sighed as he walked into his house. Compelling people into thinking Annabelle was dead when she wasn't had been bad enough, but the last week of having to keep up the charade had been pure torture. And it was just going to get worse after he compelled Elena. "Are you sure you are ready?"

"I have to be," Elena replied. Elijah hadn't compelled her into thinking Annabelle had died during childbirth yet. She wanted another day with her memories of her perfect angel. "Tomorrow night we are doing senior prank night. I'll come back here after. Stefan says that Klaus isn't planning to come to Mystic Falls until next week." Elena rested her hand on his arm, reacting to the frustration she could sense in him. "I really, really appreciate everything you've done for me Elijah. I couldn't have done any of it without you."

Elijah pulled away and ran his hand through his hair, unusually aggravated. "If I'd killed Klaus when I'd promised to, none of this would have happened."

Elena was caught off guard, unsure of how to react to any strong emotion coming from Elijah. Astonishingly, he began to pace. Tension rolled off of him and the way he glided back and forth gave him the look of a prowling cat, all grace and controlled violence.

As he pivoted on his heel, Elena stepped in his path. She ran her hands up and down his arms twice, causing him to freeze. She brought her hands up to frame his face and he remained perfectly still, staring down at her. "Klaus has always played dirty, preying on any weakness he can find. No one expects you to be perfect. You are allowed to put your family before a promise to anyone. I would never have expected you to sacrifice so much. So please, don't do this to yourself. You did not cause this. His selfishness did. You understand?"

Elijah's eyes slid closed on a sigh and he leaned his head forward until his forehead rested on hers. Amazingly, he brought his hands up to rest on her hips and after a few moments she felt the tension drain from his shoulders. They stood that way for several minutes before he took a deep breath and straightened, stepping away from her as he did so. "My most sincere apologies," he said. "I will see you tomorrow evening."

Elena recognized a dismissal when she heard one. But she could tell he was flustered with his own behavior so she didn't take offense. A small smile played over her lips. "You know, it's alright to lean on someone else from time to time. It's even okay for badass Originals."

With that comment, she turned and left the house.

...

His hands slid over her butt, pulling her navel up to his mouth and forcing her body to arch up off the bed while her fingers clenched in his hair. She was panting his name and twisting to get closer, though she knew no matter how close she got it would never be close enough. As his lips skimmed down to the juncture of her thighs, she cried out, digging her heels into the bed to press herself more firmly against his lips. Streaks of pleasure ran like lava through her veins, causing her stomach to dance and her thoughts to fracture. She was lost in the heady pleasure of simply being there with him, touching him, being loved by him. As long as he kept touching her, he could do absolutely anything he wanted and she'd thank him.

A loud noise startled her and she turned her head to see what had caused it. She heard it again and the dream began to dissolve around her. She cried out in dismay, her body throbbing painfully as Damon disappeared.

"Elena, dinner will be ready soon." Elena kept her eyes skrewed up tight and willed Jeremy to leave, hoping she could recapture her dream. Her hand came up to wrap around Damon's ring as Jeremy closed her door again. Bare seconds later, she was slipping back into dreamland.

The room she had been in during her last dream materialized in front of her. Instead of being on the bed, she was standing at the end of it. Damon was seated on the edge of the mattress with his head in his hands.

As she skirted the bed to stand next to him, his head came up. "Where the hell did you go?" he half-growled. "You just disappeared."

Her brow furrowed in confusion, but after a moment she shook her head and smiled. Her time with him was too valuable for unimportant questions. She sauntered over and stepped between his legs. "Sorry about that." She leaned down and brushed her lips over his. "Now, where were we?"

To her surprise, instead of pulling her down to the bed and picking up where they left off, he pulled her into his lap, tucked her head into his chest, and buried his nose in her hair, breathing in the scent that he knew even better than his own.

"I miss you," he whispered. Elena's breath caught as her chest constricted painfully.

"I miss you too. So much that sometimes I can hardly breathe. Burying you was—" she quickly cut herself off. No need to discuss such depressing topics in her dreams.

Damon pulled back sharply. "Burying me?" His expression was incredulous and thunderous at the same time.

Elena laughed nervously, "Yeah, I mean, obviously in my dreams you are alive and well. Most of the time. But in the real world," Elena shuddered as she remembered watching the empty casket being lowered into the ground. "One of the worst days of my life. Makes a girl want to stay asleep, dreaming, forever, you know?" she added with a half-hearted smile in a lame attempt to lighten the mood.

Damon stared into her eyes, concern overtaking his anger. He had an awful feeling in the pit of his stomach. He had suspected for a while that these dreams weren't just dreams, although she seemed to be oblivious to that fact. If he was right, and she really thought he was dead... He could read the grief in her eyes and was startled by its intensity, especially after 6 months. He leaned forward and gently kissed her lips as tears began to slowly slide down her cheeks. "Shh. I'm not worth your tears."

It was her turn to pull back sharply. "Don't ever say that again." He was once again startled by the intensity of her emotion, although this time it was anger and indignation shining in her eyes. "I know I made a lot of mistakes, said a lot of things I shouldn't have. I didn't give you the love I should have. But don't doubt for a second that I will mourn you every single day for the rest of my existence and you deserve every tear, every thought."

The anger had faded and the grief was back, her pain evident in her face, her eyes, the slump of her shoulders as she curled into herself. Damon's heart constricted and he dragged her back into his arms.

"I love you," she said earnestly into his shoulder. "Please, please believe me. I know I should have realized sooner and I am so, so sorry." A strangled sound escaped her as she realized the absurdity of pleading with her own dream. "If there is a heaven and you can hear me, please believe me," she whispered.

Damon pulled her tighter, pain spreading through him at the anguish he heard in her voice. He was about to reassure her that he was here, that he was alive when the dream faded and he was pulled into consiousness by a hand stroking over his chest.

The woman he had spent the last several months with was kissing her way down his body. He jerked to the side, sliding quickly out of bed, unable to handle her touch so soon after kissing Elena, after holding her shaking form in his arms as she grieved over his death. He missed her so badly in that moment it was a physical pain.

"What's wrong, baby?"

He shook his head, reaching for his phone and hoping he was wrong, that his dreams were just some masochistic torment his brain was creating. Because if they weren't, if he was sharing dreams with Elena, then his disappearance had caused pain he'd never wanted to inflict on her. She even felt thinner, like she'd lost weight.

Flipping open his phone, he dialed Andie's number.


	22. Ch 22 Familiar taste of poison

A/N: I do not write lyrics. They take me way too long. So I have blended two songs together for Elena and Jake to use as their song. Please just suspend disbelief with me a little :-) I do not own TVD or its characters, just like I do not own the songs Familiar Taste of Poison by Halestorm or Don't Wake Me by Skillet.

The shrill ring of Damon's phone echoed through the room, giving him the excuse to step away fron Rosalia's embrace. He felt on edge and his mind strayed to Elena every few seconds, both to the feel of her body under his in the dream and to the stricken look on her face when she had talked about burying him. As thankful as he was for everything Rosalia had done for him over the last several months, he just couldn't deal with her right now. He couldn't explain Elena to her.

Opening the phone, he brought it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Grab your computer and go to channel 5's live feed. You need to see this."

Picking up his tablet, he opened the Dish satellite app which was connected to Andy's satellite dish in Mystic Falls. "What's going on?" he asked while he waited for it to load.

"I'm covering a music festival near Virginia Beach. You'll never guess who is performing."

Channel 5 came up and he saw a camera sweeping the crowd. When it panned back to the stage, his heart skipped a beat. Her voice came through loud and clear, "For those of you that haven't heard our song yet, we hope you like it and for those of you that are already fans, thank you so much."

The music started and she smiled, "This song goes out to Damon. May he rest in peace." Damon's heart droppe and the bad feeling that had been in the pit of his stomach since the night before spread as his suspicions were confirmed. What the hell had given people the idea that he was dead? Stefan was the only one that knew about the werewolf bite and as soon as he'd gotten a new phone, which was a few days after Katherine brought him the cure, he'd called Stefan and left a voicemail letting him know that he was fine.

"Damon? Are you still there?"

"Son of a bitch. Yeah, I'm here. Very much undead."

"Funny. I was asking you what you want me to do. Do you want me to tell her? Do you want to call her?"

"No, no," his voice trailed off as he refocused on the screen in front of him.

Her voice was strong, passionate. The words and the thought that she had dedicated the sing to him made his heart constrict.

"I don't wanna be saved, I don't wanna be sober

I want you on my mind, in my dreams, behind these eyes

And I won't wake up, no not this time.

I breathe you in again just to feel you

Underneath my skin, holding on to

The sweet escape is always laced with a familiar taste of poison"

The music faded, the last note of the lead guitar ringing, then another guitar started up. Elena began singing with the lead guitarist and Damon felt a familiar jealousy spread through his body. He quickly squashed the feeling. He was supposed to be moving on. Scenes from last night's dream rose up in his mind's eye and he snorted. Yeah, right.

"Went to bed, I was thinking about you,

And how it felt when I finally found you;

It's like a movie playing over in my head,

Don't wanna look, 'cause I know how it ends,

All the words that I said that I wouldn't say;

All the promises I made that I wouldn't break,

It's last call, last song, last dance,

'Cause I can't get you back, can't get a second chance;

And now, I guess,

This is as good as it gets...

Don't wake me!

'Cause I don't wanna leave this dream,

Don't wake me!

'Cause I never seem to stay asleep enough,

When it's you I'm dreaming of

I don't wanna be saved, I don't wanna be sober

I want you on my mind, in my dreams, behind these eyes

And I won't wake up, no not this time."

Elena draped her arm around the lead guitarist's shoulders as he played. When he finished his piece and the last note faded, she brought the microphone back to her lips, "The sweet escape is always laced with a familiar taste of poison."

The crowd was silent for a moment, then cheers and applause broke out.

"I'll be on the next flight." Ending the call with that abrupt response, he turned towards the bedroom to pack.

**Review and I'll send you the beginning of the next chapter :-) Damon is back!**


	23. Ch 23 Pranks gone wrong

A/N Hopefully everyone reading has watched TVD. This is set during the senior prank night episode. Everything that happened at the school also happened for the purposes of this story, I just am not narrating the entire evening as most, if not all, of you know what happened and getting to Damon and Elena's reunion is definitely more important :-)

Elena stared, wide-eyed, at the clock as it counted down, then her eyes flicked down to stare at Stefan. "Stefan, you have to fight it. You have to. For once, you have to find some modicum of control."

"Even the strongest vampire couldn't fight it for long, Elena. An original's compulsion is," Elena cut him off.

"I know, I know, impossible to fight. For you at the very least."

"Do you really think now is the time to throw insults, Elena?"

Elena glanced at the clock again. 20 seconds. "You're right. I'm still pissed about the boarding house. But now isn't the time. You need to focus, preferably on something other than me."

"No, you need to run like hell while I do my best to slow myself down to give you a chance to find help. 'Cause as you've so nicely pointed out, my control isn't stellar, especially with how much human blood I've been consuming."

Elena didn't respond as she tensed, preparing to run. 3...2...1. The compulsion to stay in the gym faded and, throwing open the gym door, Elena bolted, hearing thuds behind her. It sounded like Stefan was throwing himself into things. Skidding around the corner, she dug her car keys out of her pocket and bolted for the front door.

Just before she reached it, she was thrown into the wall. Ignoring the pain that lanced through her shoulder, she tried to dart around Stefan as he visibly fought with himself. She didn't get far before he wrapped his hands around her shoulders and bit into her neck, whispering "I'm sorry" as he did so.

Terror gripped her as, in her mind, she was back in the boarding house with her vision fading, sure she was about to die. Screaming as loud as she could, she leaned her head toward his hand on her shoulder and bit down on his wrist with as much force as possible. The action startled Stefan into pulling back and she ran around him, shoving open the school doors.

As the chilly air of October hit her face, Stefan slammed into her from behind, sending them both crashing down the concrete steps in front of the school. Elena heard someone start shouting as Stefan bit her again, but she was too dazed by the fall to register who it was or what they were saying.

Suddenly, Stefan's weight was pulled off of her. The edges of her vision started to go dark, but before the darkness completely took over, she thought she saw Damon leaning over her. She though that maybe she was dying and he was her guardian angel. Despite the pain and the terror, she smiled as she lost consciousness.


	24. Ch 24 Pain so sweet

"Where do you think you're going?" Caroline asked sharply.

"The doctor says that Elena is awake."

"You are not stepping foot in that room until I figure out a way to explain to Elena that you're not actually dead. Even then, you won't be going in unless Elena says she wants you there.*

"Who is going to stop me? You?" One of Damon's trademark lopsided smiles played over his lips. "That would be an entertaining effort." He stepped towards the door to Elena's hospital room and Caroline quickly moved until she was so close that her chest was almost touching his.

Glaring up at him, she hissed, "You have no idea the hell she has gone through since you up and disappeared. There has been a time or two that we seriously considered hospitalizing her 'cause we were afraid she'd do something dangerous. And now I have to find a way to tell her that while she's been grieving over your death, you've been living it up somewhere after leaving her without so much as a see ya later."

Damon's face darkened, "How again did she come to believe I was dead?"

"Why don't you ask Stefan? Now, stay here while I talk to Elena. I'll come get you when I'm done."

Caroline walked into the hospital room, closing the door behind her.

"Hey Caroline," Elena said with a tired smile.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I was run over by a truck."

Caroline shifted awkwardly, staring at the floor.

"What's up, Car?"

Caroline looked up, "We need to talk."

"Sounds ominous." Elena laughed. "We all knew the peace couldn't last forever."

"This is about Stefan."

Elena sighed. "Of course it is. I have some people looking for him. No luck so far."

Jake spoke up from where he was leaning against the window and Caroline jumped. She couldn't believe she had not noticed him there, even with her vampire senses. She must really be in her own world. "We'll find him, Elena. Although I still don't understand why you think you have to clean up after him. He just put you in the hospital for God's sake."

Elena slanted a look towards Jake that said they had talked about this before and Elena really didn't want to rehash it. "Like I said, with Damon gone, someone has to look after Stefan."

"And that has to be you?" he asked, his tone sharp.

An aggravated note entered Elena's voice, "I owe it to him. I didn't see it until too late, but Damon has been looking after his brother and cleaning up after his messes for his whole life. Or at least he had been. But now he's dead and the least I can do is continue looking after his baby brother."

The hospital door opened and Damon stepped in. Caroline's eyes widened in astonishment that he could be so dumb, then narrowed, warning Damon that he would seriously pay for not listening to her. Jake's jaw practically touched the ground.

Elena, on the other hand, simply glanced at him and huffed a breath. "Oh for goodness sakes, I am fine, Elijah. I appreciate the thought, really I do, but you have to stop compelling me without my permission. I don't even remember seeing you earlier. You know I hate it when my memories are messed with."

Worry clouded Damon's face and he opened his mouth to speak as he took a step towards her.

Caroline began to speak, cutting him off, as she stepped up to Elena's bedside, drawing the injured girl's attention away from Damon, "Honey, Stefan lied."

Elena laughed, the sound slightly disturbing with its lack of humor, "Stefan lies a lot, Car. Which one are you referring to?"

Caroline had been trying to figure out how to say what she needed to without saying, "Yeah, he isn't actually dead. Say hi to Damon, who left town and let you lose your mind with grief for almost a year." Elena's comment gave her an idea of how to ease into the topic. "Right. Stefan lies a lot. Did you ever think that he could be lying about Damon?" she asked gently.

Elena closed her eyes briefly against the pain. "Of course I did," she said quietly. "Klaus had compelled him and told him he couldn't tell anyone he had been compelled. When Stefan finally managed to tell me that without actually saying it, I asked him about Damon. If there was a chance he was alive, Stefan would have let me know."

Caroline's face mirrored the pain written in Elena's eyes. "How can you be sure he would have?"

"Stefan may be misguided and even weak, but he isn't cruel. Besides, I left Damon voicemails, just in case. No matter how angry he was with me, he would have called me back. Even with how cynical and cold he can get, he wouldn't have been so heartless as to ignore them, considering the things I said in the messages."

By now, a lump had formed in Elena's throat and tears were gathering behind her eyelids. Clearing her throat, she quickly dashed away the tears with the back of her hand. "Anyway, our first priority has to be finding Stefan and figuring out what Klaus' next move is." She shifted her gaze to Damon. "Elijah, have you found your brother? And please, remove the compulsion. You looking like Damon isn't helping, it's just distracting me."

Damon looked both horrified and confused. He couldn't fathom why Elijah would have been in the habit of making himself look like him for Elena and he was painfully surprised to learn that leaving his phone behind when he left town had caused so much destruction. He had just wanted to break ties, to have a fresh start. He was brought out of his musings and back to the present by Elena.

"Elijah? What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

He took a step forward. "Elena," he said imploringly, at a loss for how to explain.

Jake looked from Caroline to Damon and back and realized that neither one had the heart to tell her the truth. Stepping up to the bed, he crouched down and took Elena's hand.

Startled, Elena shifted from Damon to Jake. Taking in his look of concern, she asked, "Is there something going on I don't know about?"

Jake nodded. After a couple moments, he spoke, "Damon is not dead, Elena." Sometimes, it was best to state things bluntly, make a clean break.

Elena's eyes darted to Damon, then back to Jake. "That's not funny, Jake. What is going on?"

"Elijah is still out looking for Klaus." Holding up his phone, he showed Elena the text he had gotten less than five minutes before, _"Please inform Elena that I have not found my brother as of yet. However, I promise that I will."_

"Elijah texts?" Elena blurted out the first words that came into her mind, her brain scrambling to protect her from the pain it knew was about to hit, trying to avoid processing what it meant that Elijah was not at the hospital.

Then the import of what Jake was telling her filtered through and she jerked her head to stare at Damon, her eyebrows drawing together in confused disbelief.

Her head tilted to one side and, lifting one hand, she reached towards Damon.

Damon took three steps forward until his body came into contact with the rail on the hospital bed.

Elena's hand began to shake and she paused, her eyes dropping to where her fingers hovered a bare centimeter from Damon's chest. She glanced up at his face, then back down to his chest. Reaching just a bit further, she pressed her fingertips to his chest and, reflexively, he took a deep breath.

Elena jerked her hand back, her eyes flying to his face. Suddenly, she was scrambling up, ignoring the searing pain flaring through several parts of her body. Once on her knees, she flung both arms around Damon and kissed him for all she was worth as tears flowed freely down her face.

**For the last couple chapters, I have gone to write the beginning to send to people that reviewed and instead ended up writing a chapter and posting. However, I already have the beginning of the next chapter written so if you review, I will send it to you :) Damon is officially back!**


	25. Ch 25 What is time if not a continuum

A/N: A few people have been confused- sorry! Elena is not yet a vampire. She didn't die in childbirth, which is why in Chapter 21, her and Elijah discussed him turning her after senior prank night. The girl does like to almost die a lot :) I guess that is what happens when a crazy murderous immortal is after you and your friends are just barely strong enough to fend him off and save you. I do not own VD characters!

Damon, caught off guard by the assault, reacted without thought. One hand came up to slide to the back of her head, locking it in place while the other slid across her lower back. Elena's hands were everywhere, reaching to touch every inch of him within her grasp, memorizing every dip and hollow. Too many emotions to count were swirling through her, but the driving need to touch him, to climb inside his skin and never emerge, was by far the strongest.

Caroline's jaw dropped at the sight and a small smile appeared on Jake's lips. Where Caroline was shocked, Jake was simply thinking that it was about damn time.

The door opened behind them and both Caroline and Jake turned. There was a woman with long dark hair, dark eyes, and olive skin standing in the doorway. A second later a growl left her throat and she launched herself across the room. Grabbing Elena by the back of her hospital gown, she threw her halfway across the room. In a flash, she was on top of her, hands around her neck. Almost instantly, Damon had lifted her up and off of Elena. "Back off," he snarled in the woman's face before setting her on her feet. He then whipped around and fell to his knees beside Elena, who had curled on her side, her hands on either side of her head.

"Elena? Are you alright?" he asked quickly. He could smell blood. His hand slid to the back of her head and his fingers came away bright red. "Damn. Call a doctor," he ordered over his shoulder as he gingerly picked Elena up. As he laid her down on the bed, Caroline told a nurse that Elena had fallen and hit her head.

20 seconds later, a woman in a long white coat came running into the room. Stopping by Elena's bedside, she placed her heart rate and oxygen levels monitor back on her finger. It had been ripped off on Elena's flight through the air. The loud beeping and flashing red light emanating from the machine stopped. Her heart rate was 169. "Damn." The doctor checked her pupils, then asked Elena to follow her finger from side to side and up and down. "What is the date, Elena?"

Elena stared blankly up at her. "Elena, can you tell me where you are?"

"The hospital," she answered promptly.

"What is your date of birth?"

"June 22," she paused, thinking. "Um… June 22, 1992."

"How old are you?"

"17."

Caroline piped in. "No, 18."

Dr. Fell shot her a look that said she should be silent.

"What is the date, Elena?"

Elena glanced at Damon on the other side of her. He was speaking to the dark haired woman, who had a hold of his arm and quickly leaned up to kiss him. The image in front of her flashed to one of Damon in a suit, hair even longer than it was now, Katherine leaning up to kiss him. She shook her head to clear it and squeezed her eyes shut. There, in her mind, she saw Damon, down on one knee and tears streamed. Her head felt like it was going to split in half. She shook her head. "I don't…"

"Let's make it simpler. What is your full name?"

Her mind was drifting, memories like snapshots running through her head. She kept coming back to two images. Damon, on one knee and Damon, the hurt flashing across his face as she told him she didn't need him. She was always hurting him. No wonder he had left. The pain in her head increased as pain blossomed in her chest.

"Elena? Can you hear me?"

Elena's eyes opened and confusion was evident in her face. She had trouble focusing and everyone sounded far away. She saw the doctor turn to Caroline, saying something about mental functioning. Then the doctor turned back to her, "Elena? What year is it?"

Elena squeezed her eyes shut again. The light was hurting her head. The day of the vampire raid popped into her head. She cried out as she saw the shotgun blast rip through Damon's chest.

"Elena? Talk to me, what hurts?"

Elena tried to pull out of her thoughts and focus on the voice. What had she been asking? Oh yes, the date. She wanted to know the date, what year it was. "1864."

"What?" Dr. Fell asked, confused. Damon and Caroline froze.

Elena didn't respond. Dr. Fell lifted one of her eyelids. "Damn," she said again. "She's gone unconscious, pupils unresponsive. Damon, stay here. Everyone else, get out." Damon's eyes narrowed. How did this woman know who he was?

"I'm not leaving," Caroline said.

Dr. Fell glanced up and decided she didn't have time to argue. "Fine, but everyone else needs to leave."

The dark haired woman protested, pulling on Damon's arm. "Come with me, amore mio." Damon pulled his arm back and hissed almost too quietly for even her vampire hearing to detect. "You are responsible for this. Now get out." Hurt flashed across her face, followed by anger. She left, slamming the hospital room door behind her.

Dr. Fell pulled a syringe out of her pocket and turned to Damon. "Your blood, please."

Damon stared at her, not moving. "We all know what you are, Damon. So let's go. Elena does not have all day. I had already detected a small brain bleed before this fresh injury. You can either give me your blood or I will go get vampire blood from my own stash. She has been gravely injured by your kind, judging by the fresh bite and the scars from older ones, the least you can do is save her."

Damon took the syringe. Caroline swallowed her protest, remembering the conversation Elena and she had recently. Elena had made it clear that she had too many responsibilities to leave behind and that she would rather turn than die. Dr. Fell pushed the blood into Elena's IV. She then pushed a saline through to clear the red color from the IV line. No need to draw the attention of hospital staff. They then all sat down to wait.


	26. Chapter 26

Several hours later, Elena opened her eyes and groaned, quickly shutting them again.

"Elena!" Caroline exclaimed.

"My head feels like someone slammed into it with a car, Car."

"Being bulldozed by an angry vampire can feel pretty similar."

Elena sighed. "I dreamed that he was alive again. Because my subconscious doesn't think the pain of being attacked by Stefan _again_ is enough."

Caroline didn't answer. Elena peeked one eye open at her. "Have we found him yet? I'd like to get to him before too many bodies litter the ground." Her eyes opened fully when she registered the pain in her friend's face. "What is it? Has he hurt someone we know?"

Caroline's eyes shifted to Damon, who was sitting on the other side of Elena's bed. Pure agony shone from his eyes. Elena shifted her head to see what Caroline was staring at. She froze.

"Elena," Damon breathed.

It was real. He wasn't dead. He just left her. Ignored her calls, ignored the screaming, the desperate pleas for him to come back to her. The still healing wound in her chest reopened. "Why?" Elena whispered, her voice raw, pain evident in the single syllable and in every line of her face.

"You told me you didn't want me around, so I left. I didn't know everyone thought I was dead. I didn't even bring my phone, didn't know," his voice broke. Clearing his throat, he tried again. "I never got your voicemails. I've kept in touch with Andy and I've had some people keeping an eye on everything here, people who were to call me if they noticed anything going on that could put you in danger."

"And the girl from earlier? The one that attacked me?"

Damon cleared his throat again and shifted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable. "We've lived together for the last six months."

A fresh wave of pain rolled through her. Her hand came up to grasp her necklace, only to find it wasn't there. She whipped her head around to face Caroline, to ask where it went. She instantly regretted the motion, the pain in her head ratcheting up exponentially. Crying out, she brought her hands up to cradle the sides of her head.

Instantly, Damon moved to sit on the bed beside her, "Stay still, Elena. You've hit your head twice in the last two days."

Her hands came down and there was fire spewing from her eyes as she leveled her gaze on his face. "You mean your brother slammed it into a wall and then your girlfriend slammed it into the ground! _I _didn't do anything to my head!"

Damon winced. "Elena," he began, but Elena cut him off.

"Don't. Please don't." The anger visibly drained, leaving her shaking and weak. "Just… just hold me," she whispered.

Damon gingerly shifted them both so that she was cradled against his chest. She placed her hands on either side of his waist and, gripping his shirt, she held on for dear life.

They lay like that for at least an hour. Caroline had quietly slipped out at some point. Elena had drifted in and out of sleep. She was now absentmindedly tracing circles over Damon's chest and stomach. It was driving Damon a little insane. When she skimmed a line just above the waistband of his jeans, he let out a small sound and gripped her wrist. Elena looked up, startled.

What she saw made her breath hitch. His eyes were smoldering, veins dancing in and out of view beneath his eyes as he visibly struggled for control. Shifting carefully, she moved up his chest, bringing her mouth closer to his.

"Elena." She couldn't tell if it was a plea or a warning. She didn't much care.

Their lips were millimeters apart when her hospital room door swung open. Turning her head, Elena glared at whoever was intruding.

Caroline froze for a second in the doorway and then continued into the room, Jake on her heels. When Jake saw where Elena was, he averted his eyes. Caroline spoke, "Sorry to interrupt, but he showed up at your house. Bonnie just called. Jer and she are fine. She said he left a few minutes ago. He said he was headed to the boarding house."

Images of the last time Stefan was at her house flooded her brain. He had held her while her world shook apart. "Stefan," she whispered. She turned her head back to Damon and pain flashed through her eyes. How could Stefan have done this to her? The attacks she could explain. He was a ripper and Klaus had been messing with him. But this?

The answer hit her like a freight train and she moved off of Damon, sitting on the side of the bed. Stefan had always wanted Damon away from her. And this was his chance. He'd rather destroy her than let her be with his brother while he ran off with Klaus. A year ago, she never would have believed it of him, but after 1864 and what had happened in the boarding house, she didn't have the same faith in him. Anger coursed through her, causing her hands to shake. She stood and Jake leapt forward, grabbing her arm when her knees threatened to buckle.

Damon's expression darkened. One mention of Stefan and she couldn't wait to get away from him. He swiftly got out of bed. "You should be lying down," he said coolly.

She didn't look back at him. "I have to go talk to Stefan." She pulled out of Jake's grasp and moved toward the drawers along one wall of the room, more steady now.

Damon's laugh was harsh. "Yes, of course you can't wait to see him. I'm sure you miss him dearly, seeing as though the only time you have spent with him in the last six months was yesterday as he tried to kill you."

Her hand stilled, halfway through pulling her clothes out. Then she resumed her movements. "I can't really be mad about that, can I, seeing as how he was compelled into it," she said bitterly.

"Elena," Jake said, stepping forward, his voice a plea for her to be reasonable. "Now isn't the time for this." While he could tell that Damon was under the mistaken impression that Elena was off to see Stefan on a social visit, Jake knew better. Stefan had lied to her about Damon. If he knew her half as well as he thought he did, he knew she would be on the war path.

She responded as she yanked her hospital gown over her head. "Now is the perfect time. Right after I," she was interrupted by Damon.

"Where the hell did those come from?" Damon demanded to know.

Elena was about to ask him what he was talking about when it dawned on her. Shame washed over her in a wave. Then she shook it off. He had left and shacked up with some girl. He didn't remember 1864, a voice in her head taunted her. He left because you shoved him away. Elena ignored the voice. Now wasn't the time for self-recriminations. She raised her chin, trying to keep her voice nonchalant, "A little innocent fun. A couple of the bites were a little over enthusiastic and they scarred."

Damon strode forward and moved her hair to get a better look at the bite on her shoulder. "This is more than a little over enthusiastic," he snapped.

Elena knew the bite on her shoulder looked nasty. Her flesh had been completely torn. She responded as she pulled her pants on. "That one was from your brother a few months back. Ripper Stefan is a bit more than just enthusiastic. He gets insane, as you are well aware."

"Stefan's gone over the edge again? When?"

Elena turned to him and he had to force himself to keep his eyes on her face. She had been bare under the hospital gown. "Right after you left. Klaus compelled him, made it so he could only feed on human blood. He was gone for a couple weeks and when he came back," she trailed off on a shudder.

"He's been feeding on human blood for the last 8 months?" he turned away, shoving a hand through his hair. "Shit."

"Worse, he has been running around with Klaus for most of that time."

He turned back just as she raised her arms to pull her shirt on over her head. There, just above the cup of her bra was another bite mark. He growled low in his throat. "Then who's the vampire lover?"

Elena raised her chin again. "No one you know." Thank God, she thought to herself as she saw the murderous look on his face. She hoped his jealousy was a good sign. Once she had done what she needed to with Elijah to protect her daughter and spoke with Stefan, she would have to concentrate on figuring things out with Damon. She turned to Jake. "Where is Elijah?"

"He is on his way back here. He found out where Klaus is hiding out and is coming back so that we can make a plan. Klaus isn't going to rest until he has you. You must know that."

Elijah appeared in the doorway of the room. "We might have a way to take care of this particular problem."

"We?" Elena questioned.

Elijah stepped into the room, moving aside for the person behind him to come in.

Katherine sauntered in, smirking. "I found Klaus' daddy dearest. And he knows _exactly_ how to kill his most problematic son."


End file.
